Days 61 to 90

Day 75 & 76: Two weeks left.

I’ve got two weeks to go on this thing. It’s hard to believe actually.

Even harder to believe that the past few days have been the hardest. I am finding myself thinking about sipping wine on a patio or having a cold beer after a day in my gardens. It’s sort of annoying actually.

I mean, I’m still pluggin’ away. I haven’t cheated…even though I really wanted a Bloody Mary with my bff on her birthday today. But, seven hours later I am thankful I didn’t. I accomplished a ton today and I just know had I started with the bloody at noon, it would have been a long day of nothingness. And an even longer day tomorrow.

Instead, I enjoyed a basketball banquet with some pretty cool parents (and very obnoxious 4th grade boys) and did a little planning with a side of dreaming with my husband. I have a busy work day tomorrow and I won’t have any problem making it through successfully.

And, last night I made it through a third card club sober; laughing harder than I had at the last one, which I thought would be hard to beat. My cheeks still hurt.

So, here’s the million dollar question: do I stay the course or do I test my faith on Day 91? And by testing my faith, I mean trusting that I won’t feel like a total failure if I have a drink or two.

Yes, I know, I need to give myself a break, but this is the shit running through my head for better or worse. I am scared that if I give myself an inch, I’ll take the whole mile.

However, I still have time and I am going to choose to enjoy these moments rather than get stuck in being fearful of something I don’t even know will happen. And if it does happen, how do I know it will be bad?

I don’t.

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