Days 31 to 60

Day 52: Beach Day!

After we decided to venture out, I got out of bed with the intention of walking a couple miles so we could hit the road early. Well, a couple miles turned in to 4. I just couldn’t help myself. It was so warm and the birds were chirping and the air smelled so sweet. I just knew if I didn’t keep going, next week when my face is peeling off while I struggle to put my winter boots on, I’ll be so pissed I didn’t spend every last second in the sun. No harm was done and I felt like a million bucks.

After a few tears and some coaxing about a two-hour car ride, the fam made it to Honeymoon Island State Park/Beach. We spent three hours looking for shells and playing in the waves. As I watched the kiddos jump around in the water and search tirelessly for the perfect shell, I felt a wave of gratitude wash over me.

We have been coming down to Florida for almost ten years and this is the first time we have made it to the beach. And to be very honest here, it’s because of me. It’s because I wasn’t willing to give up a day of cocktailing by the pool. I didn’t want to spend part of my day in the car, then out on a beach with no bar or drinks available.

I know this sounds terrible. Believe me, as I type this I am ashamed about my selfishness. But, at this point all I can do is be thankful I came to my senses when I did by overcoming the fear of what it would be like to spend a day at the beach (or any other non-special day) without something to take the edge off.

Some of us (I’ll not name names here) were getting hangry on the way back so we stopped off at World of Beer to eat. I grappled with ordering an N/A beer thinking that in a way it would be cheating. In the end though, I decided it wasn’t and had one. It wasn’t near as good as I thought it would be. Not that the beer didn’t taste good, I just realized I didn’t need it so it was sort of a waste of calories (I never thought I’d say that by the way). Dale thoroughly enjoyed his three Hefe’s and I was happy to watch him.

Has this been easy? I don’t know that I could categorize it as easy or hard, just different. It’s easy because I don’t have to worry about temptation because all I have to do is say no and I accepted that part a long time ago. Hard only in the way that it was such a habit and there are lots of triggers to go back to the days of comfort.

I can’t quite quantify how blissfully different it’s been though. I have done everything I wanted and said I was going to do. No one has fought or had a cross word (this was also usually instigated by me) yet. I have been able to relax more on this vacation than I have on any other vacation. Ever.

So, I’m going to find the Aloe Vera, lather my fragile Wisconsin skin in it and live to enjoy another sunny day.

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