90 Days

Day 60: What I learned 2 months sober.

Who knew I could say I was busy not drinking? I thought I would be so bored. But, I have actually been busy the last couple of days; cleaning up from vacay, working, being creative, planting seeds, reading, writing, socializing, parenting, etc. Ya know, adulting with a side of fun.

The busy I used to know was much less productive. And this kind of busy focuses on nothing but the things most important to me. Finally.

Since I have to cover two days in like less than 20 minutes because I definitely turn in to a pumpkin at 10 pm, I’ll make this quick.

I have made some real progress over these last two months:

I used to look at eight weeks of anything and think, “pft, 8 weeks, that’s nothing.” Well it is…and it’s not. Two months is a long time but it’s also gone so fast too.

  • In eight weeks I have gone from being nervous to go to book club because I thought it would be so awkward to looking forward to it.

  • I have gone from having to sit straight up in a pigeon pose to being able to fold all the way down on to my forearms and genuinely relax.

  • I have been able to dream some of the biggest dreams taking action toward those that have been waiting for me to do so.

  • I have been able to accept that everyone is not going to have the same opinions about things and some are just never going to believe in me. And that’s so okay because for the first time in a long time I am believing in myself.

  • I have rekindled old friendships, cultivated new ones and crossed paths with some of the lovliest human to walk the earth.

  • My marriage has been better than it has been in years. Yes, years. There are lots of reasons for this (luck is not one of them) but I can’t help but thing this hasn’t been a contributing positive factor.

  • The sleep is still orgasmic. IF there is no other reason…the sleeeeep.

  • I have been more forgiving of myself and the negative self-talk has all but come to an end.

  • We went to a movie on a Friday night with our kids. This is hardly believable considering what we used to do on Friday nights.

Of course, there’s so much more…and more to come. Since I am 2/3 of the way through this thang, of course I am starting to look forward.

What will the next step be? I’m not sure yet. And I am going to do my best to enjoy the moments I am in rather than stress about the moments I don’t even know if I’ll have.

Easier said than done.

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