That was the flavor of ice cream I had tonight. I thought it was a fitting title.
I’m not really exhausted by my kids, just exhausted. I got up at 4:15 yesterday morning to work and then finally fell asleep this morning after 12:45 am. It’s a blessing having a mind filled with ideas and a curse that I can’t write them down fast enough.
So today, I’m tired. But…silver lining always right?
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I didn’t hear one commercial on the radio today and I knew the words to every song. It was just one of those good radio days…I jammed out every time I got in to my car.
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I made some major progress on a project I am working on. However, I had to become aware of some old nasty roadblocks I threw up for myself when something out of my control came up today. I recognized them, thanked them for the lesson and told them not to let the door hit ’em in the ass on the way out.
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In the past couple of days I have received compliments about how “trim” I’ve gotten. (It helps that I’m real tan.) They’re right about 8 weeks (whoever they are):
Since we’re here, this brings up a good point. I know I haven’t listed my weight on here for a while (for inquiring minds: 201.1 this morning) and there’s good reason. This is going to be hard to swallow for me because I can hardly believe the words that are about to be typed…weight loss is not my top priority.
If you knew what went through my head on a daily basis for the past twenty years concerning my physical appearance, you’d have a hard time believing that. I did…I do.
I thought my weight defined me. I thought I wasn’t worthy of friendships because of my size. I thought I wasn’t worthy of success because of my body shape. I punished myself every single day.
Someone close to me joked yesterday that she didn’t think she had done anything for 64 days straight except read my blog. I chuckled because I think that’s true of a lot of us. It’s hard to stick to something for two months/eight weeks/60 days, however you choose to look at it.
But I can assure you, I beat myself up every day about my weight for the past 7,300+ days. I never missed an appointment with Dr. Putyourselfdown.
So, while my health is still my number one priority and I am still stepping on the scale everyday, I am paying way more attention to how I feel, how my clothes fit and how far I can fold over my thighs in pigeon pose; the yoga pose I love to hate.
I know, that’s boring.
