This article is part of The Four Currencies, my framework for making better decisions by considering not just your money, but also your time, energy, and attention.
For years, I thought I was just tired.
Running three businesses will do that, right?
Long days.
Late nights.
Too much on my plate.
It all seemed like perfectly reasonable evidence that I was simply working hard.
I accepted exhaustion as the price of building a life I loved.
Except…
I wasn’t just tired from working.
I was tired from surviving.
Most afternoons, I’d crawl into bed for a two-hour nap.
I told myself it was one of the perks of owning my own businesses.
A little midday reset.
A luxury.
My sexy little self-care routine.
Looking back, it wasn’t self-care.
It was surrender.
My body was throwing in the towel every single day, begging me to stop.
Then I’d wake up, swallow 1,600 milligrams of ibuprofen just to dull the headache enough to function, count down the hours until I could pour another glass of wine, and do it all again the next day.
I thought the wine was helping me recover from my life.
I never considered it might be the reason I needed so much recovering in the first place.
Because here’s the thing about energy.
Your body keeps the receipts.
You can ignore them for a while.
Pretend they’re buried under a pile of unopened mail.
Promise yourself you’ll deal with them later.
But eventually, she shows up as a nasty little collection agent in an ill-fitting suit and unfashionable glasses, knocking on your door to collect every bit of energy you’ve been borrowing from tomorrow.
And unlike money…
She doesn’t negotiate.
Energy Isn’t More Time
One of the biggest surprises after I quit drinking wasn’t that I suddenly had more time.
I didn’t.
Nobody gets more than twenty-four hours in a day.
What I got back was something much more valuable.
Energy.
The hours that used to disappear into hangovers, headaches, naps, and simply trying to function didn’t magically become extra hours.
They became usable hours.
Hours I could write.
Walk.
SLEEP.
Cook dinner.
Go to yoga.
Call a friend.
Start a project.
Enjoy my life.
I’d been missing the capacity to do something with the time I already had.
That’s what makes energy different from the other currencies.
Money is measured in dollars.
Time is measured in hours.
Attention is measured by what we choose to focus on.
Energy is measured by what we have left to give.
The Most Expensive Energy Leaks Are Invisible
I also didn’t realize how much energy I was spending on the conversation.
Not conversations with other people.
The one happening inside my own head.
Am I drinking tonight?
Maybe just one.
Should I skip it?
Do we have enough wine?
I’ll start over tomorrow.
Well…today was stressful.
Monday will be different.
It was an endless negotiation.
A conversation that never reached a conclusion.
A loop that reopened every single day.
I thought drinking was costing me energy because of the hangovers.
It was.
But it was also costing me energy long before I ever poured the first glass.
The decision itself was exhausting.
The crazy part?
I thought all of that negotiating was helping me stay in control.
It wasn’t.
It was just another way I was spending energy.
Every day I reopened the same conversation.
Every day I postponed the same decision.
Every day my brain had one more loop it never got to close.
No wonder I was tired.
We all have loops.
Mine just happened to be alcohol.
Yours might be something completely different.
The relationship you know has run its course.
The business idea you’ve been talking yourself into and out of for years.
The boundary you know you need to set.
The decision you’ve been postponing because you’re hoping it’ll somehow make itself.
Some of the biggest energy drains in our lives aren’t the things we’re doing.
They’re the decisions we haven’t made yet.
Every unfinished decision quietly asks your brain to keep working.
Every day.
Until you finally decide.
Energy Follows Alignment
One question has changed the way I make decisions:
Does this energize me or empty me?
Not every responsibility has to light you up.
Some things simply need to get done.
But if almost everything leaves you feeling depleted, it’s worth asking whether you’ve been investing your energy in a life that no longer fits.
I’ve noticed something interesting.
Writing takes energy.
Running businesses takes energy.
Building relationships takes energy.
The difference is that they leave me with something to show for it.
It’s a different kind of tired.
The kind that comes from building a life instead of surviving one.
I used to think I needed more discipline.
Then I thought I needed more time.
It turns out what I really needed was to stop spending my energy on conversations that should have ended a long time ago.
The Currency Check
Before you say yes, ask yourself:
- Will this drain me or fuel me?
- Do I actually have the capacity for this today?
- If I spend my energy here, what won’t I have it for later?
Because every decision costs something.
The question isn’t whether you’re spending your energy.
You are.
The question is whether you’re spending it on a life that’s worth it.decision costs something.
Spend your energy with intention.
If this resonated, continue with:
→ Money: The Currency of Intention
