Why do I keep going back?

You know what I love? Creating content that lights me up.

You know what I hate? Begging a shadowy, manipulative, emotionally unavailable thing for attention like I’m in a one-sided situationship with an emotionally stunted frat boy.

Let’s talk about Instagram’s algorithm.

The algorithm, in my humble and completely correct opinion, is a gaslighting narcissistic asshole. One day it loves me. It’s all: “YES, QUEEN! 3,000 views in 10 minutes, let me push your reel to the masses!” and I feel pretty fucking good about myself.

And the next day? I post something arguably better—a heartfelt caption, a hilarious hook, edited like I just graduated from Reel Film School—and crickets. Not even the pity like from my mom.

I’ll refresh. And refresh. I’ll squint and say, “Maybe it’s glitching?”
It’s not glitching. It’s ghosting.

This is digital whiplash.

The algorithm has love-bombed me.
It’s bread-crumbing me.
It knows my worth but withholds validation like a jerk with commitment issues.

And the worst part? I keep chasing it. Like a lab rat pressing the dopamine lever, I keep tweaking my hashtags, overanalyzing post times, reading forums like: “Try posting on a full moon when Mercury is in retrograde and you’ve sacrificed a rotisserie chicken to the social media gods.”

Even when I try to set boundaries—“I’m just gonna post what feels good and not worry about engagement”—I also peek at the stats like a girl who swears she’s over him but still checks his stories to see if he watched hers.

I KNOW IT’S TOXIC.
AND YET.

Every once in a while, the algorithm throws me a bone. “Look at you go! 1,000 views in 15 minutes!” and I’m like: “He’s changed. Maybe he really does see me.”

He has not changed.
He is playing mind games.
The algorithm is the worst kind of ex—unpredictable, manipulative, and weirdly good at knowing exactly when to show up just when you’ve had enough.

But you know what’s better than constantly begging an algorithm for attention? Building your own community of people who actually want to hear from you.

Social media algorithms may play games, but your email list? That’s your loyal ride-or-die crew. When you show up in their inbox, you’re not competing with thirst traps, vacation pics, or weird AI-generated ads.

Plus, you’re actually talking to people who want to hear from you—people who might actually buy something. And if they don’t? They just hit a button, and voila! You’re not wasting your time entertaining some dude sitting in his mom’s basement. No ghosting, no games—just genuine connection with the right people.

If you’re ready to stop reduce spending your time chasing validation and start building relationships that matter, join me for The Art of Hello—a hands-on virtual workshop where I’ll help you create an email welcome series that makes a killer first impression.

No more hoping the algorithm throws you a bone—let’s get your people coming back for more because they actually want to hear from you.

Click here to sign up for The Art of Hello and take back control of your audience!