I had one of those mornings where I wish I could just bottle it up and open it whenever I need a pick me up.
I am blessed to have good friends. I have pockets of friends from different walks of life; forever friends, friends I ask for advice, friends that ask for my advice, friends from past lives that resurface, work friends, thick and thin friends, friends that would do anything for me and I for them, family friends and parents of my kids’ friends friends. Many of them fall in to more than a few categories.
Following a difficult, yet satisfying yoga class, I had the privilege of sharing a cup (or two) of joe with two very, very good friends. They are relatively new at my ripe old age of 40 and in the big scheme of friendship but I have grown closer to and more comfortable with them than I had expected.
They are just good, real people. We cut through the bullshit at almost every meeting, SnapChat or text. It’s comforting to know there is little to no judgement from them…or if there is, they hide it well.
After a lovely couple of hours…yes, hours, one of them asked me what Day 91 will look like. I answered her honestly with an I don’t know. Because I really don’t. But she let me rattle on about my fears of slipping back in to old habits and then how my life has been filled with slippery slopes. I expressed my anxiety about going all this time and then feeling like a total failure if I have one drink on Day 91.
She just listened.
She didn’t judge me or tell me I shouldn’t feel that way or give me any advice or blow it off. Instead, when I was finished with my caffeine-induced monologue, she told me she was proud of me and that I should celebrate it, no matter how that looked. I wanted to tackle her to the ground with a bear hug but I thought that might be weird.
I walked out of that coffee shop so grateful for these two (and all my) friends and that our paths crossed. And a little hopped up on too much coffee. (<< slippery slope example)
I believe in signs. When we lived in Bayfield someone told me that it is a Native American belief that the sight of a bald eagle is good luck. Driving home, as I was turning on to our road, a big, beautiful eagle was circling right above my car. I had to pull over and get out to watch it. I stood there, freezing my ass off, and watched as he soared high above. I couldn’t help but think of him as another friend giving me a sign of good fortune.
I’m not going to worry about Day 91 anymore today. Or tomorrow. It’s not here yet so there’s really no reason to worry about something that hasn’t even happened yet. And, how am I to know it will be scary when it gets here? I don’t.
There have been so many positive things to come out of the experiment. The relationship piece of it has been so positively enlightening.
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