Days 61 to 90

Day 74: Trying something new.

I like learning new things. Not in the way that you planners might like it.

More like, “Squirrel?” or “that’s shiny…what is it?”

I tend to fall in to a rabbit hole of information that just keeps going and going and going. One article leads to another and another and pretty soon I am three hours in to something that looks totally different than when it started. While this may be an inconvenient way to go about learning something new, it’s my way.

I also think I can and should do everything and until very recently, I hung on to tasks I suck at rather than delegate them to people who enjoy them. This is a very unusual feeling for me but it’s called surrendering and so far I kinda like it.

It frees up space in my brain for other, more creative things to happen. But mostly, I have realized I’m not lazy if I don’t complete every little fricking detail of a project.

First off, those are totally not my jam: details. I skim almost everything I read (until I figure out that I probably missed what I was looking for to begin with), I rarely check dates and times and rely on copying and pasting way too much. While details are not my highest ranked skill, I have many friends and co-workers that love that shit.

I have done some digging here. It’s not sensible to think I can do it all and do it all well. Actually it’s quite arrogant. To think I have all the strengths is absurd. Yes, I will admit, I have some talent in certain facets of my life, but man, my weaknesses are plenty.

Here’s the thing though, for all my weaknesses another human was placed directly in my life to fill those exact voids. If I listed out all of my weaknesses on a legal pad, I could probably name a person I know (and adore) next to each one in which it would be their number one strength. Life is pretty rad like that…if you look.

And here’s the other thing (remember, I love me some things), our strengths and weaknesses evolve. What once was a challenge may not be anymore and therefore kind of boring. And what once came easy may have evolved in a direction in which we need to learn something new to tackle it again.

I have a to-do list about a mile long right now and as I look at it, I know there are some things on there that I just will not do well. I want to, but I won’t. I’ll bang my head against the wall for hours trying to learn it only to fuck it up enough so that I have to either start over or spend more money to have someone else unfuck it. How do I know this? I have 20 years of proof.

The moral of this story is to take your list, surrender your control and ask for some fricking help already. And if it’s something you think I can help you with…you know I’m your yes girl.

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