How many times have asked yourself: “Why can’t I just get my shit together?” Well, you’re in good company if you have. I am in my mid-forties and there are days where I just cannot seem to adult. Where I feel like EVERYONE else has their shit together and I’m just over here thrilled I washed my hair.
This happens less now that I’m not hungover everyday, but the question still rears its ugly head now and then. When it happens I try to think of this acronym. It helps…sometimes.
Sometimes I just go back to bed.
S. is for Self-Care
We know self-care is often tossed around like it’s all about spa days and sipping wine but it’s way deeper than that. It’s not about just indulging in little luxuries although those can definitely help. Real self-care for women in their thirties, forties and beyond is about being mindful of your choices.
I hate to burst the bubble bath fantasy, but genuine self-care means learning to say “no” more often than saying “yes.” It’s about setting those boundaries, prioritizing what truly matters, (I’ve got a solution for that) and not overloading yourself with unnecessary commitments. You’ve got to protect your time like a squirrel guarding its nuts.
And you know what else? It’s about sitting with your feelings, not numbing them out. Life gets real, and it’s okay to feel the ups and downs. Instead of pushing those emotions aside, embrace them. Take a moment to reflect and understand what you’re going through. That’s where the real strength lies.
So, let’s redefine self-care for you – it’s not just about pampering, it’s about making choices that nurture your well-being, saying no when you need to, facing your emotions head-on, and fiercely protecting your time like the queen you are.
H. is for Happiness
I totally understand if you had a bit of an eye-roll to the cliché of “Happiness is a journey, not a destination.” It’s an overused phrase, but there’s a reason for that – it’s actually quite profound. Hear me out.
Happiness isn’t this fixed, ultimate goal you reach and then everything is sunshine and rainbows forever. Instead, it’s this dynamic, ever-changing state of being. Sometimes you’re in that happy zone, and other times, well, life throws curveballs.
Life is this intricate tapestry of emotions, and they’re all part of the journey. Happiness is about finding contentment, joy, and gratitude in the little moments, even when there are challenges and irritations along the way. It’s about learning to navigate through the ups and downs with resilience.
So, while the phrase may sound a bit worn out, its truth lies in the idea that happiness isn’t a destination you arrive at, but a continuous journey you embark upon, embracing all the emotions and experiences that come your way. It’s a journey unique to you, full of twists and turns, and that’s what makes it beautiful and real.
I. is for Inner Peace
Knowing yourself is like the foundation of this whole happiness thing. It’s embarking on a bit of self-discovery excavation, and let’s be honest, it’s not always a walk in the park.
First things first, it involves some serious introspection, what we call the “S. work” from above. It’s about diving deep into your values, the core principles that define who you are and what you stand for. What really matters to you? What makes you feel fulfilled, safe, and secure? Understanding these aspects of yourself is like holding a compass in the maze of life.
But here’s the kicker – it’s not just about knowing yourself; it’s about deciding who gets access to you and your life. Setting boundaries, deciding who you allow in, and who you keep at arm’s length, that’s where the real challenge comes in. It’s like protecting your own sanctuary, your own well-being.
Is it simple? In concept, yes. But is it easy? Fuck no. It’s a process that can be messy, uncomfortable, and sometimes downright shitty. It means making tough choices, letting go of toxic influences, and standing up for your own needs and values, even when it’s not the popular or easy thing to do.
Getting to a place where you can truly be happy and content involves a lot of self-work, understanding your values, and fiercely protecting what matters to you. It’s a journey that can be challenging, but it’s also incredibly rewarding because it’s about creating a life that authentically reflects who you are.
T. is for Time
Time is one of the most precious and finite resources we have. For the people in the back: TIME IS FINITE. It’s a stark truth that our lives do have an endpoint, and yet, many of us tend to treat time as if it’s an infinite commodity. This realization requires some deep soul-searching.
Reflecting on how we’re truly spending our time is like holding up a mirror to our lives. It’s about being brutally honest with ourselves. Every action we take, every moment we spend, serves some purpose for us. It’s not about labeling things as a “waste” of time, but rather understanding the intention behind our choices.
Sometimes, we engage in activities that may seem like they’re wasting time, but they’re actually serving as a form of escapism or a numbing agent. It’s like using these actions to distract ourselves from something deeper or to avoid facing certain emotions or responsibilities. This is where the soul-searching comes into play – asking ourselves why we’re doing what we’re doing.
On the other hand, intentional rest and downtime are crucial for our well-being. These moments serve as necessary pit stops in our journey through life. It’s about recognizing when we genuinely need a break to recharge and when we’re just using activities as a way to avoid addressing what’s truly important.
Time is a limited and precious resource, and it’s vital to be mindful of how we’re spending it. It’s not about judgment but rather about understanding our intentions and making choices that align with our values and genuine needs. It’s about living our lives with purpose and authenticity.
Self-care, far from just spa days and wine, involves mastering the art of “no,” diving into your feelings’ abyss, and guarding your time like a bear mama. As for happiness being a journey, it’s cliché, but life’s a rollercoaster, and eye rolls are part of the ride. Knowing yourself? Well, it’s a bit like figuring out your least favorite relative at a family reunion – messy, uncomfortable, but essential for setting boundaries. And time, oh, that precious thing, it’s slipping away, but Netflix binges aren’t necessarily a waste – just be honest with your Instagram habits. Life’s a bit like folding a fitted sheet, not always neat, but uniquely yours. So, embrace it all with humor, sarcasm, and authenticity; it’s your one-of-a-kind journey, after all.
Learning how to develop your own hero's journey can be a profound experience for a high-achieving woman like yourself. It offers a unique opportunity to embark on a journey of self-discovery and growth tailored to your life's narrative. By delving into the hero's journey framework, you can uncover valuable insights about your own journey—recognizing the challenges you've faced, celebrating your triumphs, and pinpointing moments of transformation. This mini-course serves as a powerful tool for taking stock of your experiences, goals, and dreams, empowering you to navigate your path with clarity and purpose. Through introspection inspired by the hero's journey, you can tap into your strengths, confront obstacles head-on, and embark on a transformative quest toward greater fulfillment and success.
i write therefore i am.
Hi, I'm Katy. Your lifestyle designer and business mentor.
Writing is my way of unwinding and letting my thoughts roam free. Every so often, in the midst of this creative chaos, something clicks, and I'm like, "Hmm, maybe someone else will dig this too." So, I toss it out into the world, hoping it lands with someone who gets it. I hope that's you.
In a world that continually celebrates the achievements of women breaking through glass ceilings, climbing corporate ladders, and excelling in their chosen fields, it's easy to assume that these high-achieving women have it all together. Read more.
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