Self-Care + Wellbeing

Is It a Crisis or Just Midlife?

I had my midlife crisis pretty early according to the standard age. Such an over-achiever . My father-in-law died unexpectedly at the age of 59 (I was 38) and so began the unraveling of my pretty life. I’m happy to say I put myself back together again, but it took some time, energy and self-discovery.

As we navigate through the various stages of life, we often encounter moments of introspection and self-reflection. One common phenomenon that we experience is often referred to as a “midlife crisis.” This is not uncommon after the death of someone as close as a parent but there are many other situations that have us questioning our purpose here; empty nests, career and work changes, relationship shifts, infidelity, traumatic accidents or revelations, etc. But it also doesn’t have to be anything dramatic. Age can simply be the reason we start questioning our existence. It’s essential to delve deeper into this concept to understand whether it’s genuinely a crisis or simply a natural part of the human journey…which by the way doesn’t make it any easier.

Defining a Midlife Crisis

The concept of a midlife crisis has been ingrained in popular culture, often portrayed as a time when individuals suddenly feel discontented, question their life choices, contemplate significant changes, buy a red sports car or cut their bangs.

Factors Contributing to Midlife Reflection (<<<such a nice way to put it)

Several factors contribute to the sense of reflection and contemplation that individuals may experience during middle adulthood. These factors can include:

1. Life Milestones: Middle adulthood often coincides with reaching significant life milestones, such as career peaks, children leaving home, marriage/relationship milestones, and aging parents. Not surprisingly, these events may prompt individuals to question and reevaluate their goals and aspirations. This can be a very confusing time where we feel like we’ve ‘checked all the boxes’ of adult life but still feel unfulfilled.

2. Mortality Awareness: As people age, they become more aware of their mortality. This increased awareness can lead to a reassessment of life priorities and a desire to make the most of the time remaining. The aging or death of parents and in-laws, friends whose lives were cut short by accident or illness, the unexplainable loss of young people can all contribute to the questions of:

  • Who am I really?

  • Why {not} me?

  • Why am I here?

3. Identity and Purpose: Questions about one’s identity and life purpose can become more pronounced during middle adulthood. Individuals may find themselves questioning whether they have fulfilled their potential and whether their current path aligns with their true selves. This is the perfect time for redefining values, reassessing relationships and rediscovering wants and needs.

Crisis or Transformation?

While the term “midlife crisis” suggests a negative connotation, it’s essential to recognize that this period is a time of positive transformation and growth. Instead of viewing it solely as a crisis, reframe it as an opportunity for self-discovery, renewal, and the pursuit of new passions.

Tips for Navigating Midlife Reflection

Self-Reflection: Take time to reflect on your values, goals, and aspirations. Consider whether your current path aligns with your authentic self. {I have a ton of tools if you like homework. Happy to send…shoot me an email.}

Seek Support: Talk to friends, family, or a hire a midlife coach if you’re feeling overwhelmed. Sharing your thoughts and feelings can provide valuable insights and support. {Coaching is somewhere between a supportive friend and a therapist, but neither of those things. Here’s the difference.}

Embrace Change: Instead of fearing change, view it as an opportunity for personal and professional growth. Be open to exploring new interests and pursuing meaningful experiences.

The notion of a midlife crisis is a complex and multifaceted phenomenon that varies from person to person. Whether it’s a crisis or a natural phase of reflection, middle adulthood can be a transformative period and dare I say, fun. Embracing the opportunity for self-discovery and growth can lead to a more fulfilling and purposeful life in the years ahead.


Need someone to listen? No obligation to continue with coaching…just an opportunity to get it out.


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