I have had almost every hairstyle imaginable.
Long.
Short.
Pixie cuts.
Perms.
Extensions.
Bangs I immediately regretted.
Highlights.
Platinum.
Red.
Dark.
Gray.
Every time I walked out of the salon, it felt like I’d made some enormous declaration about who I was.
“This is the new me.”
The Haircuts That Taught Me About Change
Our mom was a hairdresser before she had kids. Years later, after her divorce, she found her way back to it and bought her own salon in midlife. Looking back, I think she was reinventing herself long before I knew what reinvention even meant.
She started in the era of weekly appointments, rollers, and blue-haired ladies under giant hooded dryers. By the end of her career, she was running her own salon, managing stylists, building a business, and taking care of a community that adored her.
Unfortunately for my sister and me, after spending all day making everyone else feel beautiful, she wasn’t especially interested in coming home and doing two more heads of hair.
We got practical cuts.
Bowl cuts.
Mullets.
Whatever required the least amount of brushing before school.
You know the saying about the shoemaker’s children never having shoes?
Apparently the hairdresser’s daughters never had particularly fashionable hair.
Looking back, I think she accidentally taught me something much more valuable than how to style my hair.
I’ve never been afraid to change it.
Because no matter what she—or any stylist since—did to it, I always knew one thing:
It would grow back.
That’s what hair does when you simply let time do its thing.
It grows.
It changes.
It becomes something else.
It’s all temporary.
Turns out hair is remarkably forgiving.
Maybe life is too.
Hair Isn’t the Only Thing That Grows Back
I’ve quit businesses that once felt like my entire identity.
I’ve picked up hobbies with the enthusiasm of someone convinced they’d found their calling, only to quietly move on six months later.
I’ve watched versions of myself bloom, fade, and make room for someone I couldn’t have imagined becoming.
I’ve changed my mind.
Changed careers.
Changed friendships.
Changed routines.
Changed dreams.
I’ve reinvented myself so many times at this point that I’ve started thinking of it as living twenty different lives in twenty years.
For years, I treated every choice like it was permanent.
If I cut my hair, what if I hate it?
If I quit drinking, who will I become?
If I close a business, what will that say about me?
If I say no, what if I never get another chance?
What finally gave me freedom wasn’t becoming better at making decisions.
It was realizing that most of them weren’t permanent.
Most Decisions Aren’t Permanent
Hair grows back.
Businesses can be rebuilt.
Hobbies can be rediscovered.
Friendships can deepen or drift.
Dreams can evolve.
Identities can expand.
You are allowed to become someone different than the person who made yesterday’s decision.
Ironically, knowing I wasn’t trapped by my choices made it easier to make them.
Maybe that’s why midlife feels so different.
Somewhere along the way, you stop believing your life is one long, irreversible path.
You begin to see it for what it really is:
A series of experiments.
Some you’ll keep.
Some you’ll outgrow.
Some you’ll circle back to years later.
Some you’ll be grateful you tried, even if they weren’t meant to last.
None of them have to define you forever.
What Would You Try?
So if there’s something you’ve been wanting to try…
A different haircut.
A new hobby.
A career change.
Sobriety.
Moving.
Writing.
Golf.
Gardening.
Starting over.
Ask yourself one question:
What would you try if you remembered that most decisions aren’t permanent?
🎟️ Permission Slip
Permission to change your mind.
Nothing says you have to be who you were six months ago.
