Candace Dudley 00:00:00  I kept waiting for the next door to open so I knew what I would be doing, but it never happened for me like that. For me, I had to leap, trusting that I would get to see it when there was space in my life to see it because it just wasn’t coming. Without knowing the big picture of like, why am I even drawn to this? I was just trusting that gut intuition that we have as women. You sort of said like, jump in the net will appear and just hope to God it’s there.

Katy Ripp 00:00:30  Hey there fellow rebels, welcome to #ActuallyICan, the podcast where we say a hearty hell yes to designing life on our own terms. I’m Katy Ripp, a lifestyle coach, business mentor, and serial entrepreneur here to guide you through the wild ride, defying what society expects of us and embracing our authenticity. On this show, we dive deep into taboo topics like death, money, spirituality, entrepreneurship, unapologetic self-care, and personal development, all while swearing and laughing along the way.

Katy Ripp 00:01:01  Expect down and dirty conversations, plenty of humor and a whole lot of exploration, leaving you feeling empowered to be your truest self. Whether you’re craving a good laugh, seeking unconventional self-care tips, or simply looking for some camaraderie. You’ve come to the right place. We only get this one short life, so buckle up and let’s design yours on our own terms. Ready to dive in? Let’s go. All right. Welcome, Candace. Thank you so much for joining me today on #ActuallyICan I am super excited to hear your story. We were just chatting about, you know, you leaving a teaching job. And while I’m sad for our education system because it seems like there’s a mass exodus of.

Candace Dudley 00:01:49  Really good.

Katy Ripp 00:01:50  Teachers, and I’m sad for the education system itself, I think that what people are doing with that exodus is actually quite amazing, so I’d love to hear your story. Just dive right in. We’d love to hear about what you do, where you’re from, all of the good things.

Candace Dudley 00:02:06  Perfect. I’m over in Minnesota. It’s freezing right now. I taught for 13 years. And you know, for me, it wasn’t that I didn’t like to teach. I love my teaching partners. I liked the job. I didn’t like who I was afterwards. So over those 13 years of teaching, I also had three of my own children. They’re nine, eight and six now. But when they were little, little, and it was back to back to back, I would come home and realize that, you know, I had been taking a nap or things after school where I’d have to just crash, and then I had my own kids. And that doesn’t really work out very well for you. We can try, right? Yeah. Not gonna pan out too. Great. So that’s what really started weighing heavily on my heart. And I always like to say the timeline here, because I think social media makes us think that people are making these leaps in, like, a second for me.

Candace Dudley 00:02:57  I thought about leaving for three years and so it was long. It took me a long time to get the confidence, the guts, the courage to be like, I need to take this leap. I kept waiting for the next door to open so I knew what I would be doing, but it never happened for me like that. For me, I had to leap, trusting that I would get to see it when there was space in my life to see it because it just wasn’t coming. And during those years I was grasping at straws. I started with a network marketing, which is so many of us teachers do because we’re like, we have a teaching degree, what else can I do? So it was really great. I was in a great community. It was for wellness, and I had just had three babies and I had gained £50 every pregnancy, you know, so it was great in that aspect. The biggest thing out of that was my coach had us reading personal development, and that’s the first time I had ever looked at that, started doing that.

Candace Dudley 00:03:50  And the very first book I read was The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy, and I was like, so hooked. Yes. It just all of a sudden I started thinking about my thinking, realizing I was in control of what I was thinking. I just hit the goal setting affirmations like all of that so hard. And I did have a really successful network marketing business, which just I think the purpose of that, because of course, not doing that anymore, fell out of alignment. But at the time it was learning to push your comfort zone, figure things out, just Google and do whatever you needed to do. Ask people just to make it happen, and trusting in yourself that you actually had the skills to do that and that you did figure everything out. And so just building that confidence, which is what ultimately helped me to leave the classroom. And three years ago. So yeah, I had already started a podcast and I had gotten a life coaching certification, a mindfulness and meditation coaching certification.

Candace Dudley 00:04:41  I was kind of just following every little nudge without knowing the big picture of like, why am I even drawn to this? I was just trusting that gut intuition that we have as women where we’re like, I’m drawn to this. I don’t know why. During those years, I just trusted like, this is what I need to do. And it kind of all came together. Now in the last year and a half, those first couple of years out of the classroom, I think I went through identity crisis burnout. I tried to replace teaching with another form of burnout. I started like flipping furniture. It was fun until it wasn’t, and it was a grind. So it was just like a lot of self-discovery, a lot of learning yourself, which got me to where I am now, where I do, you know, one on one calls or work with different people and sometimes even take work off their plate like podcast producing and helping people self-publish with Amazon, KDP, stuff like that, where I can help behind the scenes and I’m an introvert.

Candace Dudley 00:05:32  I kind of learned being the face of your classroom is really exhausting to me. So getting to do things like podcasting, where you’re kind of this is sort of behind the scenes, we’re not in front of a crowd. That kind of thing is my passion and just systems and making things efficient, because the teacher in me loves that. So it’s kind of how I got to where I am now.

Katy Ripp 00:05:50  Yeah, that piece before where you sort of said, like, jump in the net will appear and just hope to God it’s there. Yeah. How much of that do you think came from, like the personal development?

Candace Dudley 00:06:02  Oh, all of it. All of it. Yeah. And also from the community that I had. So the couple of coaches that were in my network marketing group, we now we run a membership online called the Line Business Collective. Our names are Andrea, Brittney, Candace. So ABC acronym.

Katy Ripp 00:06:19  So cute because what is it aligned business collective.

Candace Dudley 00:06:22  Yes. And so we felt like in the beginning of our entrepreneurial careers, which all started in network marketing, which none of us are in anymore, but it served its purpose.

Candace Dudley 00:06:31  At the time, we felt very isolated, alone, like when we started telling people in your circle, like your goals and your new ideas, they kind of looked at you like you had two heads coming out of your body and they’re just like, couldn’t wrap their they’re not thinking like you. It’s a very different mindset to be thinking like, I want to be an entrepreneur. That’s very different than I think our generations were taught. You go to high school, graduate, go to college or university, and then you work a job for someone else, and then you retire. And then that’s when you get to enjoy things. And I guess personal development and being in that community of women where we started talking like, I don’t really want to wait till I’m retired, I don’t I kind of want to create things how I want it to be now and just kind of not settling for what society told us originally we’re supposed to do, and which I know that you’re all about. So. Yeah.

Katy Ripp 00:07:19  Yeah, it’s that sort of, I call it, like checking all the boxes.

Katy Ripp 00:07:22  Yes. Right. Like we did all the things that we were prescribed to do. Society likes to prescribe us values, right. Like if you don’t say that family is your number one value, like you’re an asshole. Yeah, right. Yep. Obviously we are kindred spirits. I have started Female Founders Collective. Same idea. Right. Like because it is very much an isolating place to be. And I realized that when I started my first business. Like, people just really don’t understand what kind of stress or challenge or even celebrating the wins feels a little bit dirty sometimes with people that don’t understand. And I felt really alone in that, and I just wanted to talk to other people that felt similar, but also provide a space for people that like, the more I got into it, the more I realized while there’s like a need for community here, there’s really a need for a tribe here. And I’m guessing that’s what your podcast is for too, right? Like, I’m hoping by my podcast that if people are listening to this, they can realize that there’s people out here that really do understand that things aren’t all hunky dory.

Katy Ripp 00:08:35  And you also sort of feel like you can’t say you have a bad day because this is like somehow your idea, like, that was your idea. Like you wanted to leave.

Candace Dudley 00:08:44  You signed up for this, you signed.

Katy Ripp 00:08:46  Up for this shit. So good luck. Like, I don’t feel sorry for you. And there are bad days, right? Like, there’s really emotional highs and lows and it’s really isolating. So is your aligned business collective open to the public?

Candace Dudley 00:08:59  Yes. Yeah.

Katy Ripp 00:09:00  Yeah. So we’ll put that in our show notes as well. That’s awesome.

Candace Dudley 00:09:03  Love that. Yeah.

Katy Ripp 00:09:04  Perfect. You know as you were going through sort of this inner work which actually started personally right. Yes. Yeah. Which is so fascinating because I think that this happens a lot with women is we start down a path that we really feel like there’s no purpose or I’m missing something, or I’ve checked all the boxes and now what? And I’m not happy with this pie on my wheel of life. And so I start doing some work there and realize that, wow, this is actually my purpose.

Katy Ripp 00:09:34  Yeah, I think about it as like, the obstacle is the way for me. It’s always been that way. Whatever I’ve been dealing with has always ended up being my path. I’m curious how much of that has been true for you?

Candace Dudley 00:09:46  Absolutely. I think it was very personal to start with. I had just had three babies, like I mentioned, and it was one of those box checking things where I knew I love being a mom. I’m good at that. I wanted to be that. But then that box was checked, and so was my college degree and my teaching job and the motherhood and marriage that had already been checked. And so that was like the last one that I had, you know, that I could see. And once I think that got checked, it was like, well, okay, but I’m also home postpartum, feeling like crap, feeling like I’m the only one going through this because no one’s talking about, you know, what I’m going through and all these different things that I just decided that I really needed to work on my mindset.

Candace Dudley 00:10:31  I joke and laugh about this now, but at the time it was felt very serious. My husband would. He’s also a teacher. So he went back, you know, to work and I’m home with the babies and I would find myself arguing in my head with him all day. He’s not there. I’m just arguing like. Oh, and then he walks in the door and I’m like, here’s your kids. And. And it just was like this self-awareness where you notice like, oh my gosh, I am doing this every day, almost. I don’t want to be like this. This isn’t the dream. I can work on this. And so I didn’t really tell anyone. I didn’t tell him. It was just the community that I was in with my ladies in that network marketing field. And it was like, hey, let’s read this book together. Let’s talk about this together. Let’s get on zoom calls to talk about what we’re reading and what’s going on. And that was when I realized I can change the thoughts in my head is easily as I can make negative ones, I can choose to make positive ones.

Candace Dudley 00:11:24  And that’s not to say that happens every day. Of course, you know, well, no, we gotta keep it real. But yeah, it was so personal. But I think that just like was building blocks of like, oh, now I can think differently. Oh, I can want more than I have. Oh I can trade good for great. I’m allowed to do that. I don’t have to settle for this, isn’t it. So then it’s just like, snowballed, you know.

Katy Ripp 00:11:44  In such a great way, I’m assuming. Yes. Yeah. Lots of challenges for sure. And I never want to sugarcoat this in that these don’t come with challenges. Right. Like we have a lot of things that we need to come up against. One of them is like, how do you give yourself the permission to leave a very secure and stable paycheck? And I think I’ve talked about this with a number of teachers. There’s sort of like those fuzzy handcuffs, right? Like you’re doing so much great for the world, right? Like you are giving back to the world.

Katy Ripp 00:12:14  So you’ve got some purpose there. And then you realize that the pay is shit, but they’ve sort of handcuffed you or tethered you with some benefits, right? Like a decent 400 and 1KA decent. I get summers off, I get all of the same vacations my kids get right. There are a lot of these like hidden benefits and teaching. And then it weighs against these, like really tough, exhausting days with parents and kids and the bureaucracy and the politics and the I mean, I’m talking like a teacher and I’m not a teacher. No, you’re nailing it.

Candace Dudley 00:12:49  You’re nailing it. So keep going.

Katy Ripp 00:12:51  But it is a very difficult, especially, I think, the further along you get into it. Right? Because you’re closer to that sort of retirement. You’re closer to that. How do I give up my pension? How do I give up these things? Tell me how you gave yourself permission.

Candace Dudley 00:13:08  Oh, it was a hard choice. Covid had happened, and I think that’s when my spouse and I, we were like, wow, life had been flying by.

Candace Dudley 00:13:18  And that wasn’t something we felt great about. You know, our kids. It’s like we’re blinking and they’re aging and it’s like, how is this happening so quickly? It doesn’t even feel like we’ve been able to enjoy it. So it was deep, hard conversations. He’s very risk averse.

Katy Ripp 00:13:34  Okay, okay. So interesting. I always like to hear about people’s spouses because it’s very one person is usually like, fuck it, I’m out and the other person is like, are should we think about this a little bit, pump the.

Candace Dudley 00:13:48  Brakes, what are we doing? So yeah, it was a lot, a lot of talking. What actually happened for the first year was our youngest. It was going to be her last year not in school. And so that was kind of what I use as my ticket of like, this is my last chance to get to spend time that I don’t feel like I’ve gotten with her as the baby. And so it started as a year leave request from school. So it wasn’t like a full like quit done.

Candace Dudley 00:14:15  I’m out. Peace out. Yeah. It was like, I’ll request a leave of absence from school. They did approve it. This was like in January that school year. And so then it was I think my husband thought of it like, this is a gift to my wife, that she can stay home with our youngest that year, you know, and in my head I’m like, no, I’m going to stay home. But I’m also going to figure out how not to go back. This is also like a yes, this is a gift, but I’m going to take it. You can think that.

Katy Ripp 00:14:41  I think it’s a gift.

Candace Dudley 00:14:42  Yeah, I know you need to think that. That’s not my plan. So that is how it started. But. Oh, man, it was tears and conversation and kind of needing to figure out a way to communicate with him, that he understood why it was so deep in me that I needed this, because I was just one that was like, you know, kind of just suck it up and you keep going.

Candace Dudley 00:15:05  And so it’s not like I was showing him every day that I was crying after school or something. I wasn’t I didn’t have that outward where a man could easily look at you and say, okay, he’s not okay. I’m not like that. I’m very I’ll just keep it in. I was an athlete growing up. I played college basketball so very much that athlete mindset. If you don’t show anybody anything, which is something I’m actively unlearning, I’ve gone to therapy about. So it’s not really serving us as adults to be like that. But yeah. So that’s how it started was.

Candace Dudley 00:15:36  Hey.

Candace Dudley 00:15:36  Let’s choose this for our family. Let’s. Let’s slow down. Let’s feel like we’re not sprinting everywhere. And, I just don’t know how I could ever go back now that I’ve had a taste of it. So now you’ve had.

Katy Ripp 00:15:47  A little taste, right? Oh, well. Big taste. Yeah. Three years. One of the things you said, which I resonate with so much and I’m guessing a lot of our listeners, is you sort of have that fuck around and find out.

Katy Ripp 00:16:01  Gene. Yeah, yeah, tell me about that. Like, I just love that so much because I pretty much feel like I can figure anything out. Yeah, I think that there’s there’s so many resources out there. Yeah, I can Google anything. Can you learn anything? It’s really like, I just want to see what will happen.

Candace Dudley 00:16:20  Right?

Katy Ripp 00:16:21  I just want to see.

Candace Dudley 00:16:22  Yeah. I feel like if everybody really paused and reflected on their life, you’d look back and you would have a string of evidence to show you that you have been fucking around and finding out your whole life. Nobody told me the manual on how to raise kids and keep babies alive. You figured that out? Like I led classes of children. You know that I was in charge of their well-being and getting to learn things. And you figured that out. There’s things that come up in your life, in your work that nobody prepared you for. Your college class did not prepare you for what is happening in those classes, in your work and your jobs, in your home.

Candace Dudley 00:17:02  And you’re still here. You’ve obviously figured, oh, you wouldn’t be here if you didn’t figure it out. So I think when you can recognize that, it sets the groundwork for you to be like, well, what else could I figure out? Yeah, it’s how I started my podcast. I will admit that I wanted to start a podcast for a year. So things don’t happen fast though too. Sometimes it’s a slow thing. So I would Google and then I’d get overwhelmed. Like, I don’t even know what they’re talking about with these words. Of all these podcast platforms and editing, I don’t know what this is. So then you’d stop. Then I’m like, now I’m going to order a microphone. Let’s do one thing. So it’s kind of my thing is like do one thing, one little, even if it’s little, like ordering your microphone for your podcast. But if you could repeat that over and over, you will eventually get to the goal. It’s inevitable. So if you continue to commit to one tiny thing at first, for me, it was one tiny thing outside of my comfort zone.

Candace Dudley 00:17:52  Well, that’s how the path, you know, revealed itself. So yeah, same way I started a podcast, like I said. So you just you figured out I aired that first episode with no edits and no script and no nothing because I was inspired. I hit record and I was like, I can’t let this stop me anymore. So we’re just going to do this. Take messy action and 20 episodes. Then I figured out how to edit a little bit and different things, and you learn as you go and it’s you just learn that also done is better than perfect. If we wait for like, we’re not getting anywhere, well, you’ll be waiting forever. Yeah, it’s never going to happen.

Katy Ripp 00:18:23  So the piece about like just doing it. I think that there’s so much fear around what’s going to happen. I mean, I had fears too, and I’ve done this a lot. Like I’m in front of a camera a lot. Not my own camera. Right? Like I’m filming myself.

Katy Ripp 00:18:37  I’m not talking about anything crazy, but, like, I just decided I was going to do a podcast and did it. But I thought about it for a couple of years before I did it. I mean, I am a little bit different that I order, like all the equipment and then like, we just start, right? Like I just start and do it. And we are both at a place where we both have podcasts, but we got here differently. It’s okay to get here differently, right? Like there’s millions of podcasts out there and it’s okay to be just a little bit different than the next guy. Or you can be sort of the same as the next guy, and somebody likes your voice better than the other person’s, or they like your cadence better than the other person. What was your biggest fear when you first put that like unscripted, unedited, everything. Like you put it out there like, oh man, what was the fear?

Candace Dudley 00:19:27  Well, the fear was that I, I lived a boring life and I didn’t have big traumas, huge things that have happened to me.

Candace Dudley 00:19:35  It was pretty cookie cutter. So I thought, and I thought, I don’t have a story like I’m boring. I won’t be able to keep up with, you know, new content because what do I have to say? Also, that impostor syndrome, a little bit of, you know, there’s more experienced people than me. And so who am I to be talking on this topic? They’re the ones that should talk on this topic. But I think what you learn is, first of all, there’s abundance and there’s room for all of us. But the people that are coming to me are going to be different, that are coming to you, like you said, for different reasons. It could be as simple as our voice sounds different and they like one or the other, but there’s going to be something about you that that’s where your people are coming from, and they’re still waiting because they don’t connect with anybody in the podcasting space or in the whatever space yet, because they’re waiting on you. And so I think one of the things I remember reading or a coach told me was thinking about how nervous you are about the podcast episode or the post on social media.

Candace Dudley 00:20:33  If we think about that as like, I’m just worried about myself, that’s a selfish thing. And the whole point that we’re in this, the whole point that I have a podcast, is to help people feel seen, help people share their stories, to help other people feel validated and like, seen in what they’re doing. And so if that is the focus, then that’s unselfish. We’re thinking about other people. So we have to kind of flip it off of like, oh, I’m so nervous. I’m so scared. But that’s a selfish way to think of it. We flip it around and it’s unselfish when we’re thinking about the people that we’re trying to help. And I always thought, like at the very beginning, if I could help one mom who was feeling like I was feeling during postpartum, that was my drive. And so it’s changed now. It’s taken on a more entrepreneurial thing, because that’s kind of where my heart is. But it evolves. But it’s like, if you can help that one person, like that’s a huge deal.

Candace Dudley 00:21:20  How impactful that there’s people listening to us talk that’s amazing that they’re they’re using their time and their day to listen to us talk. How incredible. And so having to switch that mindset off of yourself, it makes things easier to do.

Katy Ripp 00:21:33  Yeah, I’m sober three and a half years and that was like my obstacle is the way, right? I remember specifically walking down the street one day. I was walking outside with my dogs and I thought to myself, maybe this is the one thing that I share because I was so shameful and hidden for so long. If I shared this one thing, could I help one other person, like not feel alone? And that changed everything for me. Really like everything about how I talk about that specifically. But any other pieces of information that I think like were valuable to me, so they might be valuable to somebody else. How I run my businesses, how I deal with employees, how I start something new, how I I am happy to share all of it.

Katy Ripp 00:22:21  Sometimes I think everybody knows what I know. I don’t know why I have that in my head that like, if I know this, everybody knows this. It’s been pointed out to me that that is not true. Yes. But I think that if we can really be a collective group of women that are trying to inspire other women to do something more, and it doesn’t even have to be something grandiose, it could just be that you stay home and you love your three kids with all of your heart, all day long, and you don’t feel like you have to have dinner on the table at 5:00 in the afternoon, or whatever it looks like to you, or you go out and you decide, fuck it, I’m going to make $2 million this year because this is what I want to give to my family. I want legacy money. I want all of these things. I don’t care what it is, but if you want something, fuck around and find out, like, fuck around and find out how I can do it.

Katy Ripp 00:23:20  And if you and I or me and 20 other people are you, and 350 other people are offering the inspiration to do that. My cup is filled to the brim.

Candace Dudley 00:23:32  Yes. Amen.

Katy Ripp 00:23:33  It sounds a little righteous, I understand that, but it is really where I found my deep purpose in life is to see if I can help somebody else just do a little bit more than they did yesterday.

Candace Dudley 00:23:47  Oh, that’s my podcast name is Better Brave because when I named it, I wanted to inspire people to be a little better than they were yesterday, living bravely outside of their comfort zone. So I couldn’t agree more. It’s yeah, it’s about just whatever and giving yourself permission to feel however you feel. So for me, I was like, I don’t feel fulfilled for being a stay at home mom only, but I also don’t want to take away from other stay at home moms who do feel fulfilled like that. That’s amazing if you do, but you have permission to want both things or multiple things like I want to have successful businesses and be able to have time freedom with my children and be a great mom.

Candace Dudley 00:24:27  So there’s that. Needing to give yourself permission to feel however you feel and be honest with what you do desire. And that just because you are a mom or your woman or your wife doesn’t mean you can’t also be. Fill in the blank. You are allowed to do both or have it all you know, with ebbs and flows and what you give your attention and energy too, because you’ll end up burned out if it’s like 100% in all categories. That’s another topic. But yeah, just that permission to I think was huge that ultimately you have to give yourself. Because I know I spent about a year outside of the classroom hoping and looking for other people to give it to me. What dawned on me was, those people aren’t trying to walk the path that I’m walking. They’ve never been here. You cannot possibly get permission from people who have never been where you are going. So that was a light bulb moment, about a year in where I was like, okay, we’re done looking around because it’s coming from within.

Candace Dudley 00:25:23  It’s coming from me. Now it’s time.

Katy Ripp 00:25:25  And all of these things that we’re talking about for decades, I rolled my eyes at right. Yeah. I was just like, that doesn’t apply to me. That shit is for somebody else. That is not, you know, it’s not that easy. Consistency isn’t key. You know, ten minutes a day isn’t going to be enough, whatever those things look like or sound like. But I rolled my eyes at that shit forever. I agree. Unfortunately, when I hit 40 something, all of a sudden I was like, oh shit, this stuff does work. Like the meditating, the journaling, the yoga, the stretching, the walking, the you know, this very consistent, boring part of life does work. It just works. It just has been the thing that’s worked for me. One of the things that you’ve touched on a couple of times, and I’m a huge proponent of, and this took me a really long time to get to, is sort of values based living.

Katy Ripp 00:26:19  Finding your values, finding your personal values, aligning your work with it, aligning your life with it, realizing that we’ve been prescribed certain values. And I’ve mentioned this a little bit before, like, I love my family. They’re not one of my top five core values. They’re just not a value to me. Now, connection is one of my core values, and I love to connect with my family and I make time for that. How I spend my money and how I spend my time. But family is not my number one value. And I think as women, especially middle aged women, we get prescribed that like we have to be all things to all people. We were put on this earth to serve, to serve our children, serve our spouses, serve our animals, serve our communities. Or I mean serve, serve, serve. Yes. And somehow we get lost in all of that, and all week. This lip service of self-care isn’t selfish. I totally get it. It’s not.

Katy Ripp 00:27:23  I agree with that sentiment, but nobody actually believes it until you’re in it, until you give yourself enough self-care that it’s actually true, that it’s not selfish, and it actually plays a vital role in everybody’s health around you, whoever is in your circle. Can you talk a little bit about that, about like, sort of that like actually I can moment I can put myself first. I can take care of myself.

Candace Dudley 00:27:53  When you start dabbling in taking care of yourself, you’re going to think thoughts of like, oh, I’m lazy. I shouldn’t be resting this much. This is lazy because that’s what people have told you. And you possibly also saw your parents, especially your mothers, never sit down. You know, they’re constantly doing something for someone in the family. They were the ones eating the cold meal because they were still getting everybody else’s drinks and things to the table. So there’s a lot of wiring in our brain that’s going to combat us and try to speak other people’s truths into us. So just be aware that when you started, it’s not going to be all rainbows and sunshine.

Candace Dudley 00:28:33  You’re going to have those little whispers of, you’re being lazy. You don’t deserve this. You haven’t done enough today. You haven’t been productive enough today to get this. And learning that we’re allowed rest because we’re human beings and we don’t need to do anything else, and that our productivity is not tied to our worth. That was a huge lesson I had had to learn. So that’s a big one. But the more you do it, the more you stay consistent with it, even in little bits. Going for a walk alone, shutting down devices, taking that rest, unplugging that type of thing. The more you do it, the more you’ll realize that you have more brain space. You have more. I call it downloads, but inspiration, whatever you want to call it for your work and for your job. And it’s just all that good stuff that we need to kind of be as an entrepreneur. We kind of have to be creative and have inspiration. And so that doesn’t come when we’re depleted and we’re grinding and we’re just checking boxes like that is not coming.

Candace Dudley 00:29:30  So if you haven’t felt inspired in a long time or had a download or feel motivated, consider resting. Going for a walk in nature, meditating, journaling. I’m huge on journaling and meditating too, so it can be uncomfortable. At the beginning though, I will say, when I first started sitting down and taking breaks and trying to meditate, my skin was crawling and my anxiety was going up instead of like calming down because I had been on autopilot grinding every day out for so long that as soon as I wasn’t staying busy, my body was like, oh my gosh, like, what are we doing?

Katy Ripp 00:30:05  Yeah, like, what the fuck?

Candace Dudley 00:30:06  Yeah, we’ve never done this. Let’s not do this. This is uncomfortable because you also then end up sitting with yourself and you have space to realize, oh, I’m feeling sad about something. You then create the space to notice how you’re actually feeling. And sometimes we don’t want to sit with our feelings because that’s not fun. But I do know that the times you spend doing that, you move through those feelings so much faster than when you keep pushing them aside, push them aside.

Candace Dudley 00:30:29  You could honestly probably move through them in about 60s. If you are brave enough to sit down with them and stop trying to push them away, push them away, push them away for days, weeks on end.

Katy Ripp 00:30:39  Yeah, one of the things you said there was being busy sort of numbs us, right? Like being busy and always listening to something new and watching something and liking, you know, whatever we’re calling it. Doomscrolling now, I think that’s like the most horrible word because my Instagram is not filled with doom. But yeah, my Instagram is curated and I love it. But, you know, like a lot of people are just sort of like scrolling and listening. I mean, even listening to podcasts, listening to music, listening to, you know, whatever it is, that’s sort of artificial noise. And then all of a sudden you give yourself a second. Of course, you’re going to feel icky. I mean, it does feel icky at first, right? But I have done it for so long.

Katy Ripp 00:31:25  This happened to me yesterday. This is like a perfect example. I had a phone call. I got super frustrated by this phone call. I was off the phone and I was like, oh my God, I’m so frustrated. I texted my sister. I was like, hey, you got a minute to talk? She didn’t answer me. I was like, oh my God. You know, I’m like, kind of. I didn’t exactly know what to do, as I was sort of annoyed by this. And she texted me back like, I don’t know, maybe ten minutes later she’s like, hey, I just got off the plane. We’re going to our gate right now. I can call you in a minute. And I was like, oh, never mind, I’m over it, right? Like I’m over it. And the thing that happened would have taken me days, possibly weeks to get over in a past life in, you know, three, 4 or 5 years ago, especially when I was drinking, right? Like it would have bugged me all day, and it would have been the reason I opened a bottle of wine that night, and then it would have just escalated and escalated and escalated.

Katy Ripp 00:32:19  And in the big scheme of things, it was so stupid. And now, looking back at it, even 24 hours later, I’m like, oh my God, I spent like ten minutes of time and energy on this. And it was so dumb and like it doesn’t matter anymore. But I only was able to get over it in ten minutes because I’ve spent 5 or 7 minutes a day for three years sitting. Yeah, with myself, letting my thoughts come and go and come and go and come and go. And that’s really all meditation is. People freak out about meditation. Sit down. That’s it. There is nothing special about meditation. Yeah.

Candace Dudley 00:33:00  Sit down. And we think we need, like, if we can’t have a blank mind that we’re doing it wrong. That’s not the goal of meditation. It is to let your thoughts go. notice them, but let them go without judging them. Period.

Katy Ripp 00:33:12  That just like they come in and let them go. If you need to think about it for a few seconds, cool.

Katy Ripp 00:33:18  But like don’t let it sit there. I always in my mind I think about it as like clouds saying.

Candace Dudley 00:33:24  I use the clouds.

Katy Ripp 00:33:25  Too. Yeah, I use clouds in my head. And then I like have a pin that I just pinned this thought on and it just like, floats away. I’ve gotten really good at it and it’s a lovely place to be. It’s like my mind palace, I love it. It’s taken me a really long time to get there. And there’s a saying out there that if you can’t sit in meditation for five minutes, you should be sitting for an hour or whatever. They say it way more, something like that. Yeah, than that, but sort of like, well, I don’t do yoga because I’m not flexible. Well, that’s the fucking point, is that you go and you practice yoga to become more flexible. You don’t arrive at yoga flexible, you don’t arrive at Meditation with a clear mind. The whole idea is that you practice and you practice in your practice and your practice.

Katy Ripp 00:34:12  So I’m a little bit on my soapbox. Sorry about that. But there is something very you don’t have to be special. You don’t have to be a guru. You don’t have to have a special meditation pillow or special clothing. You can do it on your bed. And if you fall asleep, fine, you probably needed it. You probably need the sleep. So yeah. Okay, so tell me about businesses a little bit. So I know you’re doing some coaching. You’ve got some podcast producing. You’ve also got another business. So you know I’m all about a multi passionate entrepreneurs. So tell me about all your little irons fire right now. Not little but yeah you.

Candace Dudley 00:34:50  Know I definitely consider myself a multi passionate person. And I think for anyone listening that thinks they are as well, we’ve also been told that that is wrong, that you’re never going to be successful. You keep changing your mind, you got too many things going on and I understand that I’m not working all of those businesses at like 100% full throttle.

Candace Dudley 00:35:07  All three at the same time. That I think is where we get burnt out. And that’s where the trouble is. So keep that in mind. Yes, I have these things in the fire, but right now my biggest thing is the podcast producing. I’m booking for 2025 people that need their podcasts, edited show notes. Right. And just, you know, they want to record the fun part and they want to send the rest off like you have someone that does that for you. That’s fantastic. Like, I want to keep people like us doing the parts of their business that they like. So just I always say no, that if there’s a part of your business you don’t like, there is definitely someone out there that likes that part 1,000%.

Katy Ripp 00:35:44  I preach this all day.

Candace Dudley 00:35:46  Yes, you be happy with the parts you love. They’re going to be so happy doing the parts you don’t love. And let’s just let everybody be happy with all of that. So that’s kind of my biggest like 100% effort right now.

Candace Dudley 00:35:57  But I also run with my two best friends, Aligned Business Collective. We mentioned that earlier. So that’s a virtual membership We have once a week meetings and a 24 over seven like On-Demand slack channel used for just oh cool being in touch. It’s really fun. Great place, great community. So if you need that as an entrepreneur and just someone with goals that just doesn’t feel like people in their life are there to help facilitate that. We are your people. And then my third business is called Willow and Ren, and that’s one of the ones that was created. After teaching, I went through extreme burnout, and in finding myself again, there was different things like finding out I’m an empath and an introvert and that my energy really ebbs and flows. I’m a I don’t know if you know, human design, but I’m a projector. So my energy.

Katy Ripp 00:36:42  Thing.

Candace Dudley 00:36:42  Yeah. What are you. I’m a manifesting generator.

Katy Ripp 00:36:46  Thank you. Yes, I remember it. I don’t know why. And actually, were you the one that said you’re a manifesting generator in my email? You must not have.

Katy Ripp 00:36:54  Well, I’m a projector, okay? Somebody else emailed me this week and they’re like, oh, I’ve just been like going through your stuff this week. I was from like threads and stuff and she was like, oh, I’ve just been going through this stuff. She was like, I do a lot of human design. You must be of what is it?

Candace Dudley 00:37:09  Manifesting generator manifest.

Katy Ripp 00:37:12  Which I’ve had a read before, but for some reason I could never remember it. And like, oh, that’s funny, that’s funny. Yeah. You recognized it too. Yes.

Candace Dudley 00:37:20  One of my best friends, Andrea, that I run the thing with, she’s a manifesting generator. And then the two of us are projectors, so our energy, like, really ebbs and flows and we need a lot more rest. And I do best work in, like, 2 to 3 hours a day on hard things. And the rest I need to just chill where she is, like, I have ideas and let’s go, go, go, never stop.

Candace Dudley 00:37:39  And so your energy vibe is like more like hers.

Katy Ripp 00:37:41  Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah.

Candace Dudley 00:37:43  So in finding, you know, kind of regaining my own energy and my self again, one of the things that I enjoyed was crystals and just learning about energy and things. So my kids and I use crystals a lot and I just think they’re great because it’s a tool. I feel like if you don’t believe in like woo and energy, fine, but it’s still a tool that if I give my kids a rock and we decide that it’s going to keep bad dreams away because we put this under our pillow, guess what it does? It usually keeps the bad dreams away. It’s a tool to empower yourself to make intentions and live an intentional life, and one that’s like grounded in balance with intention. So Willow and Wren was born in like 24 hours. My two besties helped me name it. We got an LLC and placed my first orders I order from other women in the United States that make different crystal bracelets, and so then I curate them and put them together, you know, with ways to use them what they’re best for, what that stone is best for.

Candace Dudley 00:38:39  And I’m in about ten retail stores, kind of in the Midwest ish area in their stores. And so that’s just kind of a fun it’s, I want to say passive, but also and nothing is truly passive because you had to do the groundwork of finding locations that are aligned with you. That would be a good fit, and then reaching out and chatting with them and finding, you know, ways to make that work. So I do like wholesale and consignment with those. So that doesn’t take a ton of time. I just have to, you know, check in with my stores and things and ship them out. And then you get a check in the mail. And it’s so fun. Right? So it’s like you can really, like, create anything you want if you are passionate about something. And obviously you don’t have to take all of your passion and joys and turn them into a business. But sometimes that can be a really fun way to do it.

Katy Ripp 00:39:23  Yeah. Tell me about well, and if you don’t want to talk about money, it’s totally fine.

Katy Ripp 00:39:28  I’m not going to ask you anything about, like, you know, how much you’re making or whatever, but money is always one of those things that like that security of a teaching job. Right? Like especially because you’ve probably got, you know, quite a bit of investment in education and all of those, you know, things it’s so hard to give up. And I totally understand that the money part of it is always when I’m talking to clients like, oh my God, I’m so nervous about the money. What if I don’t make enough money? And what if I, you know, what if blah blah blah blah blah. Tell me about that for you.

Candace Dudley 00:39:56  Yeah, well, in the beginning, that was the talk with my husband. That was part of those tough conversations. I think we all have our own money stories. I come from a place where money’s always been there. It’s always been enough. I don’t come from, like, riches, but I’ve come from a place where it just in my life it seemed like it was always there.

Candace Dudley 00:40:14  Where I don’t know that that’s the same for my husband, where he went to college and I went to college on a basketball scholarship, so I didn’t pay money to. So you can see how we would have a very different he’s eating ramen noodles and I’m trading my, like, body and mental side to a sport to pay for my education. So very different money stories. So those were big conversations. Ultimately we just made sure that we don’t really have debt. We don’t have any unpaid bills. The only payment we have is our house and we have very little left on that. So luckily because of, you know, taking care of our finances as a young married couple, well, we were able to say, okay, we have plenty of money in savings to get through the first year, because that first year is the scariest one, because you have no proof if you can do it or not. If it’s going to work, you think, like, I could pinch some pennies, I could cut back, but like, I don’t really know what.

Candace Dudley 00:41:06  Like, do I really know what it costs for a family of five at this point and a dog to make it through a year? Yeah. You know, and my husband’s a teacher, so it’s not like his income is like, oh, you know, I’m a doctor. I got you, babe. Like, you know.

Katy Ripp 00:41:19  It’s like.

Candace Dudley 00:41:20  No, this is important that we’re both pulling some weight here. So having some savings, having a little planning like that, we did have that in place. So I also don’t want to make people think like, oh, just jump. Don’t worry about what’s going on. I mean, it’ll be fine.

Katy Ripp 00:41:34  Yeah.

Candace Dudley 00:41:35  Depending on your financial situation you may need to do things simultaneously. There might be a season of grinding and a season. Hopefully it’s short, but I think sometimes those things need to happen. But luckily enough for us, we did have the privilege of having that in place. So now it’s just been focusing on continuing to grow my side and just making sure that I do want to pull my own weight.

Candace Dudley 00:41:57  I don’t want to. I doesn’t feel good to me to be like, oh, man’s taking care of me. I don’t know.

Katy Ripp 00:42:03  Contributor. Right? Like I’m sure most of us, especially entrepreneurs or contributors, right. Like we want to contribute to our communities, to our home life, to our financial well-being, right. Like we’re contributors. So yeah, that’s huge. It could be a year. It could be five years. Yeah. One of the things you said at the beginning was we have this sort of skewed perception that these small businesses take off in six months. And, you know, people are making multiple five figure months in the first six months. It is a disservice to small business owners everywhere. Yeah. To say that that is the norm. I would say that you need three years, three years to see where shit goes, because somewhere in there, a pandemic could hit somewhere in there. The, you know, election couldn’t go the way that, you know, small businesses needed to go somewhere in there.

Katy Ripp 00:43:05  Your parent might die somewhere. You know, whatever it is, something’s going to happen. I can guarantee it.

Candace Dudley 00:43:13  Yeah, right. Life is life in.

Katy Ripp 00:43:15  A life is life. It just is what it is. And so I think we as entrepreneurs, it’s a disservice to not share that shit goes downhill. Right. Like that is the other thing is I don’t want to necessarily complain, but I also need people to understand that this isn’t all roses all the time, right? We do have floods, right? Like I have to take, you know, money out of savings in order to pay my staff. When shit hits the fan, shit happens. There’s no doubt about it. I would say for me, the freedom and flexibility of what I have and what I’ve built has far outweighed any challenge that we’ve come up against. That’s just my life. That’s what I want. That’s my value. That’s my number one core value is that comfort. And like, I get to choose my schedule.

Katy Ripp 00:44:07  I get to choose how I come and go and how I show up in the world. That’s the life I want to live. And that doesn’t come without its challenges. Just like a teaching job does. Just like a, you know, somebody that works in the corporate world just like it is to work for somebody else. It’s just different challenges. So every time I see somebody like, oh my God, I just started my business and I’ve got $26,000 my first month, I’m like, fuck, good for you, man. But like, that’s a lie. It’s not been my story.

Candace Dudley 00:44:41  Not been my story. What were you doing before that you had to been laying some groundwork?

Katy Ripp 00:44:46  Yeah, there’s probably at least months, if not years or decades of groundwork being laid. And that is one thing that I’ve realized too, is I’ve been fairly successful in my coaching business and sort of what I’m doing with my life right now, but it’s taken me decades of work to get here. I just finally, like, flipped the switch and was like, oh, I’m going to do this for a living now.

Katy Ripp 00:45:09  But it’s been since I was 14 years old and going through personal development and reading thousands of books and going down 4000 rabbit holes on Google. So yeah, such a great point. Just like that, groundwork has to be laid somewhere. Those fluky things. If you’re looking at something and it looks like a fluke, it very likely is. So if you’re going to find a tribe, find a tribe that somehow aligns with your values.

Candace Dudley 00:45:39  And if you get into it and you realize, oh, this is not it, you’re allowed to change your mind, please don’t sit there thinking it’s you that you need to change and fix. Go find a different one. It’s out there. It is out there. And so don’t settle for something that’s not perfectly aligned with you. Because when you find that space, it is magic. And doors. It’s like the doors open in heaven and you’re like, I finally feel seen when you finally feel seen for the first time in your journey. It is life changing and you will probably do anything you can and pay any amount of money you can to continue to have that feeling, because it’s that important on the journey.

Candace Dudley 00:46:17  That inner work is so important.

Katy Ripp 00:46:20  It’s all the eye roll stuff.

Candace Dudley 00:46:22  It is. I was laughing when you said that earlier because, you know, sometimes you read a personal development book or something or listen to a podcast and you’re like, no, this is dumb. Have you ever picked it back up like three years later and you’re like, I don’t know, I’m gonna give it right? And then it like, it’s like speaking to your soul. You just were not ready for that message at that time. There’s so many books. I’m like, if I read this five years ago, I would’ve been like, this is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard of. This is all dumb. And now I’ve read it now and I’m like, this is life giving, you know, like you aren’t ready for those messages and that’s fine. You’re just where you are in your journey. So don’t be scared to pick up that book that you missed a year ago.

Katy Ripp 00:47:00  To your Change your mind point. Yeah, I heard this a long time ago, and I actually I probably read it 20 years ago, and then it just resonated very recently.

Katy Ripp 00:47:09  But make decisions slow and fail fast. So just fail so fast. If you are out, be the fuck out. Get out now. Do not ride a sinking ship. If you know that you’re done, be done and do something else. there is a lot of time left, but failing slow is just a really slow death. Yeah, so fail fast.

Candace Dudley 00:47:35  The most successful people change their mind and pivot the fastest. And I think as women, we can think that. I don’t know if it’s because we were told we were flighty or like, oh, you just can’t ever make a decision or, you know, you can’t be successful, you know, changing your mind and jumping from one thing to the oh, you’re going to do that now. I thought you were doing this. You know, you hear those comments and it’s like, yeah, you know what? Screw you. Mind your own business. You don’t know I am empowered. And this is what a CEO does. So you’re not walking this walk.

Candace Dudley 00:48:02  You’re not in my shoes. You don’t understand. So you got to make those pivots.

Katy Ripp 00:48:06  Any big plans for 2025.

Candace Dudley 00:48:09  Just to keep growing the business? I think I feel like in such a great spot. Finally, three years out of the classroom, like you said, it’s three, five years that you got to give yourself that time. And up until a year ago, I was still answering the question, hey, what do you do for a living? As, oh, I used to be a teacher, I couldn’t even get myself to say, I’m an entrepreneur. I’m an online business manager and a podcast producer. I also have a wholesale business called Willow and Wren. Why? I don’t know, but I do know it’s because it’s so much easier to say the neat and tidy version. So fully stepping into what you are, who you are, the business you are. Stop answering that question with. I used to be a teacher. I used to be this or whatever and start saying it.

Candace Dudley 00:48:52  It will feel uncomfortable, but then you’ll start to embody it. And so I’m just in a space where, yeah, I’m booking clients. I’m looking to just keep expanding things and just giving the business, you know, time to grow. Now that it feels clear to me, because I was all over the place the first couple of years, just kind of pivoting and and just trying to navigate what it is that I’m most passionate about. And I finally realized the thing that has never stopped that whole time was podcasting, because that was my excitement. That was like my baby, my joy, the thing I would do for free. And so if you are in a place where you’re like, I just don’t know what direction to go, my advice would be, think about what’s the most fun you have, the most exciting and the thing you would do for free. And it it took me like weeks of reflecting on that a few months ago, and it dawned on me that it was this and how like why I didn’t see it because it was right in my face.

Candace Dudley 00:49:46  And so now I’m just kind of giving myself permission to just fully go down that path. So that’s what I’m doing.

Katy Ripp 00:49:52  But don’t do it for free. Right. Exactly. Yeah.

Candace Dudley 00:49:56  You would do it for yourself, but don’t do it. Charge a dollar amount you are worth and ask your friends before you say the dollar amount, because likely you’ll say a dollar amount and they’ll be like, are you crazy? If you’re in the right circle, like you are worth more than that, up that by double it, you know? So yeah, you’re always like best friend.

Katy Ripp 00:50:15  It might not be your best customer that I could get into 100%. I could get into a whole podcast about that. Yes, I might sometime soon.

Candace Dudley 00:50:23  I guess I shouldn’t say I’m lucky enough that my two best friends are the ones that are best friends because of our entrepreneurial journey. The other best friends prior to that. This is not the company you learn who to have these conversations with and who not to, and protect your peace.

Candace Dudley 00:50:38  Because not everybody gets to hear these conversations. Not everybody deserves to hear your goals and new baby ideas. They will crush them before you even get them started. So protect that with all your being and share it with the right people.

Katy Ripp 00:50:51  That’s right. There’s something behind that for sure.

Candace Dudley 00:50:54  Yes.

Katy Ripp 00:50:55  Where can listeners connect with you? Like if they want to work with you, if they want to come to your tribe? We’re going to definitely put a lot of this in the show notes. So we’ll get some website addresses and stuff, but perfect.

Candace Dudley 00:51:05  Yeah. You can find me on my website at candacedudley.com Instagram @candacedudley I’m very active over there. So I’m also on LinkedIn and threads and you know, we’re everywhere. But I would say go to Instagram or my website or my podcast, Better Brave Solopreneur Business Systems, I love it.

Katy Ripp 00:51:21  We will keep all of that in the show. Notes. I really appreciate you coming on today, Candace. Thanks. So nice to meet you.

Candace Dudley 00:51:26  Can’t wait to have you on my show.

Katy Ripp 00:51:29  And that’s a wrap on today’s episode. I hope you enjoyed diving deep into the world of living authentically with me. Before you go, don’t forget to connect with me on Instagram. Shoot me a message @katyripp. I’d love to hear your thoughts on today’s episode and connect with you further. And remember, if you want more details on today’s episode, or just want to explore more about designing your life unapologetically, head on over to my website at Katy Ripp dot com. There you’ll find all the juicy details and resources you need to keep the inspiration flowing. Lastly, if you’d like to join me on the show, whether it’s to tell about your experience of designing your own life, to share your expertise, or if you’d like to participate in lifestyle coaching live on air, don’t hesitate to reach out. Your story could inspire countless others on their own path to living authentically. Thanks for tuning in. Until next time, keep living boldly designing your life. And remember, #ActuallyICan.