[00:00:00] Lindsey Konchar: Your money habits are established by the time you are 10 years old and they were looking at, do you lean into more spending, into more saving tendencies, and where is that all coming from? Where do you think it’s coming from? Obviously likely the people that raised you in your environment, and so. We know that your money habits are established that young.

[00:00:20] Lindsey Konchar: The good news is money habits can be changed, habits can always be changed, so you’re not like stuck.

[00:00:30] Katy Ripp: Hey there. Welcome to #ActuallyICan. This is the podcast where US female entrepreneurs are gonna ditch the hustle culture, build value-based aligned businesses, and finally charge what we’re worth. I’m Katie Rip, a serial entrepreneur, business mentor, rule breaker, and your go-to guide for building a profitable business on your own terms.

[00:00:50] Katy Ripp: Around here, we do things differently. No hustle for hustle’s sake, no playing small and definitely no more following antiquated business rules that, um, clearly were not made with midlife women in mind. Each week I’m here to ask the hard questions, share the advice that’s actually worked for me and bring on a guest or two who decided to say, fuck it.

[00:01:09] Katy Ripp: Actually, I can do this my way. Expect bite-size, high impact episodes ranging from about 25 to 45 minutes, packed with real strategies, mindset shifts, and rule breaking business insights. If you are tired of business, feeling like an endless to-do list and you’re ready to make more money without burning out and feeling guilty, you are absolutely in the right place.

[00:01:30] Katy Ripp: Let’s go.

[00:01:35] Katy Ripp: So welcome Lindsay. I am so excited to have you here. We were just talking, I’m totally obsessed with money right now. It’s taken me decades to get here, which is also an interesting place to be. ’cause I was raised by a financial planner. So to be in debt or to be like, I’ve got lots of money stories myself, I’ve got lots of money, mindset that I’ve worked on.

[00:01:59] Katy Ripp: Money is a loaded thing for many, many, many people, probably everyone to a certain extent. And it does take time and energy and. Attention to really get down and dirty with what does money mean to me? What do I want? All of the things, so Lindsay is actually a therapist turned financial coach, but with therapy, right?

[00:02:22] Katy Ripp: Like financial therapy. Am I understanding that right? Yeah. So 

[00:02:25] Lindsey Konchar: I’m a financial therapist and then I also, because I work across state lines, I also do financial coaching. So I’m not just like, you know, sure. Beholden to Minnesota’s laws, but yes, I essentially am doing therapy within the money work that I’m doing with everyone.

[00:02:42] Lindsey Konchar: So, yeah, 

[00:02:42] Katy Ripp: so money is just one of those hard things to talk about, I think as. You know, I’m 46 years old, so when I was a kid it was, you don’t fucking talk about money at all. Mm-hmm. Like we just don’t talk about it. We don’t talk about numbers. You don’t know what somebody makes, you. Don’t ask what somebody makes you just don’t talk about it.

[00:03:00] Katy Ripp: And so it ended up, I think, for me, like being this secret and then all of a sudden the secrets, like somehow I have shame around them and that you should know everything and I’m smarter than this. And how did I get myself into this position? And I mean, ask me how I know all of these questions, right?

[00:03:19] Katy Ripp: Like I have been through this. So this is one of my most exciting podcast episodes because I just think that there’s so much out here that we can learn as women. And listening to it on a podcast sometimes just takes the pressure off of. Geez, I don’t know the answer to that question. I don’t know where all of my stuff is.

[00:03:38] Katy Ripp: I don’t know where to go for investments or I’m not even at a place of investment. I need to get out of debt first. I don’t know how to do this right. So anyway, you can tell I’m all jacked up about this. I’m very excited. So I am just gonna let you start, Lindsay. I would love to just hear about. Why you got into financial therapy, right?

[00:03:58] Katy Ripp: Like therapy has lots of avenues to go down. Financial is not one we hear a lot of or I don’t. So I would love to hear your story and how you got here. 

[00:04:07] Lindsey Konchar: Yeah. Yeah. So, and 

[00:04:08] Katy Ripp: welcome. 

[00:04:09] Lindsey Konchar: Well, thank you. Thank you for having me. Yes, you are right. Financial therapy is very specific and there’s not a lot of us out there, which is in part why I am working, you know, all over the country.

[00:04:22] Lindsey Konchar: I have clients in Hawaii, I have clients in New York. I have clients everywhere in between. And there’s a huge need. So if you’re out there and you’re a therapist and you’re like, wait, I think I might be interested in this, please come. Please come there. There needs to be more of us. But yeah, for me, therapy was always it for me.

[00:04:39] Lindsey Konchar: Like I, you know, my parents went through a really messy, you know, relationship in general, but specifically their divorce was incredibly messy and it was all money related, like, oh, so 

[00:04:52] Katy Ripp: interesting. Mine too. 

[00:04:54] Lindsey Konchar: Yes. Well, and it’s really common, right? Yeah. So actually this is kind of interesting is infidelity is the very first.

[00:05:01] Lindsey Konchar: You know, reason for divorce. After that, it’s communication issues. And I’m like, what does that even mean? You know, like communication issues is the most broad topic ever. And then obviously, you know, my lens and the work that I do, communication issues typically ends up being so many fights around money.

[00:05:24] Lindsey Konchar: But we’re not really fighting about money. We’re fighting about our priorities. We’re fighting about the way that we’re choosing to make purchasing decisions, or the lack of investing or the living paycheck to paycheck, and not knowing how to get us out of this cycle, right? Those are the communication issues that are so blanketed and then also come up.

[00:05:47] Lindsey Konchar: Really unexpectedly. So you two could be fighting about dish towels. But the reality is that what’s underneath all of that is that we’re living out of alignment. We’re, we’re not within our priorities and we’re not prioritizing the same things. Right? And women spending often looks so different than men spending.

[00:06:08] Lindsey Konchar: And of course I’m generalizing here and just talking about heterosexual partners. But so that I think is really important to recognize. Right off the bat. Yes. So, so common that divorces is really, you know, these money issues. And, and of course because money has been taboo for so long, we didn’t ever sit with our partners and say, okay, tell me about your money story.

[00:06:31] Lindsey Konchar: Right, right. Which, by the way, 

[00:06:34] Katy Ripp: anybody that’s about to get married, please ask your partner. Yes. Uh, tell me about your money story and give me your first money memory. Right? Yes. Like, that’s one of the things I use with my coaching, uh, when I coach around abundance and money and values and that sort of thing, is tell me your first money memory.

[00:06:53] Katy Ripp: Yes. And, and sometimes people are like. Oh my God, I don’t even know that. Mm-hmm. Keep going. Yeah. Sorry. I’ll stop interrupting. 

[00:07:00] Lindsey Konchar: Oh my gosh. No, please interrupt. Always. Oh, anyways, so that’s a part of my story, right? Is I, I witnessed this as a young kid. The other thing I will say about this, I’m just really giving it to you right here at the beginning.

[00:07:11] Lindsey Konchar: It’s 

[00:07:11] Katy Ripp: the only way to go. It’s really true in this, in this environment, 

[00:07:15] Lindsey Konchar: really, we just, we just jump right in. Your money habits are established by the time you are 10 years old, so there’s a Oh, fascinating. Yes. A study out of the University of Michigan did a bunch of, you know, looking into this and they, they had kids as young as five and, and up through past 10, and they were looking at like, do you lean into more spending, into more saving tendencies?

[00:07:43] Lindsey Konchar: And where is that all coming from? Where do you think it’s coming from? Obviously likely the people that raised you in your environment. And so we know that your money habits are established that young, which means. The good news is right, money habits can be changed, habits can always be changed. So you’re not like stuck.

[00:08:00] Lindsey Konchar: I don’t wanna scare the listener and like, oh my God, I’m doomed forever. Right? Like, we can change these habits. Yeah. But it is really important to recognize where you came from. So again, that’s kind of all apart. Of how I grew up as like this push and pull and fight and I heard we can’t afford that, but then they would come home with a really expensive whatever, and I would be like, but didn’t you just tell me I couldn’t afford a $5 toy?

[00:08:21] Lindsey Konchar: Like that doesn’t feel, you know, so lots and lots of mixed messages around. It’s so 

[00:08:25] Katy Ripp: confusing. 

[00:08:25] Lindsey Konchar: So confusing, so fast forward, right? Like I was very kind of like, I don’t wanna talk about money. Money’s bad. Like look at what it did over here to my parents and their, their, their marriage, you know, like bad.

[00:08:37] Lindsey Konchar: And, um, when I was 16, then I actually moved into a friend’s house. I kind of was actually living with a bunch of different friends, but one primarily. And you know, my mom thought I was living at my dad’s. My dad thought I was living at my mom’s. I was living with my friends and the home that I was really at most of the time, they were very well off.

[00:08:55] Lindsey Konchar: Their marriage was intact. They had relatively healthy communication, right? And I just felt it in the air. Like the energy was entirely different. I wasn’t walking on eggshells. I didn’t feel badly to ask for a certain snack that I wanted. You know, I just, I had all of my feminine care products available to me and I didn’t have to like bag and plead for tampons.

[00:09:21] Lindsey Konchar: It was amazing. And you just felt like if I. Spill my juice. It wasn’t like, oh my God. It was like, we’re gonna get it cleaned, or if it’s that bad, we’ll get a new couch. Who cares? Like, it just felt different and to have that experience so young, really just, I always say it’s like my own version of Rich Dad, poor Dad.

[00:09:40] Lindsey Konchar: Which I, that book is, you know, kind of controversial, but regardless, it was, it was like I had this one experience, I saw money divide my parents, and in this household I actually saw Money Unite these parents. And I thought, wow, that’s so different. And so from that point forward, I’d always kind of been interested in it, you know?

[00:09:57] Lindsey Konchar: And then, you know, fast forward I became a therapist in 2019 and loved what I was doing. I was working just at a clinic, working with, you know, medically necessary patients and, and actually dental. Patients, which is a whole nother thing, but who needed coping skills to get out of dental appointments? It was interesting.

[00:10:14] Lindsey Konchar: Oh, that is an interesting, that’s interesting. It’s so random and it was so fun because the dentist is also a horrible place, but neither here nor there. Then I became a mom in the pandemic. I found out a month before the pandemic hit that I was pregnant, which, oh my gosh. Good news. And also terrifying.

[00:10:32] Lindsey Konchar: Yeah. But from really, like when I got furloughed in whatever it was, April, I didn’t go back to the clinic. ’cause at that point it was like we were still wiping down groceries we didn’t know it could do to a pregnant woman. Yeah, for sure. Here. 

[00:10:44] Katy Ripp: And you were pregnant and Yeah. All the things. 

[00:10:47] Lindsey Konchar: Mm-hmm. Right?

[00:10:47] Lindsey Konchar: Mm-hmm. Yes. But I missed my job, like as a stay at home mom, I was like, I miss doing therapy. I miss, you know, my people. And so I started looking into entrepreneurship at that point. And so I was kind of dabbling in like this and that and doing some like postpartum work with other moms and, but I knew deep down in my heart that I wanted to do.

[00:11:07] Lindsey Konchar: Money work with people, but I was like, I’m a therapist who’s gonna listen to me? Because my husband and I had been on our own financial wellness journey. For years at this point. And I said it very early on when we met in our dating relationship, I was like, look, you and I do money real different and I am not having this.

[00:11:28] Lindsey Konchar: Like if we wanna be successful in this and we wanna actually like win this game of life, then we need to be on the same team. And in order to do that, we need to be on the same page with our money. So like, let’s get this shit figured out. And we did. And so, you know, in 2022 I was like, how do I do this?

[00:11:43] Lindsey Konchar: How do I do this? And I was actually listening to an audio book. I was on my street driving. Listening to an audio book and the, the author totally unrelated book to therapy money anything said, the words financial therapist. And I was like, what? Wait, what? I know. I paused the book, I pull into my driveway and I come like tearing inside.

[00:12:04] Lindsey Konchar: My husband was like, what’s going on? I was like, I have to look up this thing right now. I need to Google it like instantly. And he was like, are you okay? Like, what is going on? And I did, I Googled it and I was like, oh my gosh, I have my MSW like I qualify for this certification. So I did like all the research, looked into all the different, you know, tracks that I could take and this and that.

[00:12:25] Lindsey Konchar: We have a 48 hour rule in our house, so I did wait for 48 hours to make sure this Oh, I love, I love that rule. Yes, do everyone should have this 48 hour rule. It really helps a lot, um, in bulk purchasing and yeah. And I, I bought the certification program. I did nothing. For weeks and weeks and weeks. And I just, I was waking up at like 4:30 AM doing the certification program during naps, doing the certification program after bedtime, during the certification program.

[00:12:51] Lindsey Konchar: And then I got, I got certified and the rest is history. I started my business and now I’m a financial therapist. And it’s like, you know when they say like, you’ll look back and you’ll be able to connect all the dots. That’s like how my life was, right? It’s like there was a reason I was going to school to become a therapist.

[00:13:07] Lindsey Konchar: There was a reason I was on my own wellness, financial self-care journey, you know, all these things and, and now it’s come to fruition and it’s amazing. So did you always have an entrepreneurial spirit, do you think? Again, if you look back at the dots, I think yes. Like I was like, you know, my dad and I built a lemonade stand together when I was a kid.

[00:13:25] Lindsey Konchar: Like that kind of stuff. But I never, ever, not in high school, not in college. I never took a business course. Okay. So I was like, I know money, I know therapy, but I don’t know business. So that was actually like a part of my trajectory. Then after I got certified. I was like, how do I run a business? Yeah. So I ended up taking a business class and was like, how do I really do this?

[00:13:47] Lindsey Konchar: What does marketing look like? What does, you know, all that kind of stuff. And so, right, because then 

[00:13:51] Katy Ripp: you become, like, I say this all the time, like, then you become the bookkeeper and the accountant and the janitor and the real maker, and the marketing specialist, and the email writer. And the copywriter.

[00:14:05] Katy Ripp: And I mean, all these things that we don’t really like, all you want to do is help people change their money stories, right? Mm-hmm. I mean, I’m assuming that that’s what your, you know, your vision was for this, but also you have to run a business, right? And that’s, that’s different than. And, and just because you know, money probably doesn’t mean that you know how to run your, I mean, you know how to run your own money, but there’s a whole nother like ball game of being paid for services.

[00:14:34] Lindsey Konchar: Totally. 

[00:14:34] Katy Ripp: Yeah. Totally. Yes. Tell me about that a little bit. Was that different for you or do you feel like once you went through that course, like business course you kind of had it licked or did it take a while? 

[00:14:44] Lindsey Konchar: It was a relatively easy transition for me because I am home and my overhead is super low.

[00:14:49] Lindsey Konchar: Yeah, yeah. And I knew like some of that kind of stuff. It wasn’t. That hard of a, of a change, I guess, if you will. The bigger thing for us was, my husband was in corporate America for almost a decade. 

[00:15:01] Katy Ripp: Mm-hmm. 

[00:15:02] Lindsey Konchar: And, um, we just actually retired him in, you know, September of 2024. So, but I saw a bigger life for us than what it was of like the nine to five grind.

[00:15:13] Lindsey Konchar: He was miserable in like working, you know, 10 to 12 hours a day. He would go days, literally days without seeing his kids because he also commuted 45 minutes up to work. And there was of course parts of the job that he, he enjoyed, but maybe 10%, like a lot of it, he was just unhappy and that wasn’t what I wanted.

[00:15:33] Lindsey Konchar: I was like, I don’t want you sitting there for 30 years doing this thing. And frankly, like I said, I was home with the kid, so I actually was. Stay at home mom by day, financial therapist by mornings, nap times, nighttime weekends for a long time. Yeah. But I was like, we need to figure this out because I wanna get you the hell out of there.

[00:15:53] Lindsey Konchar: And we did. But it, and it took, you know, a couple years to get us there. But that was the driver. So when we have like our, when I have like my sight set on something, he at first was like, no chance I’m here. I’m gonna do this for as long as you know the world. And I was like, no, no, no sir. There is a different way.

[00:16:10] Lindsey Konchar: And we’re figuring out that different way. Yeah. And that was a huge driver for us. 

[00:16:15] Katy Ripp: And were you always like, did you have some imposter syndrome at first? Did you feel like, oh my God, how can I do this? How can I break into this? Where am I gonna get clients? All the, um, imposter syndrome stuff. Did you have any of that?

[00:16:29] Lindsey Konchar: Yeah, of course, of course. I mean, for me, I had been doing therapy already for so many years, so it was less like the therapeutic relationship, but definitely the running my own business. Yeah. Like I said before, I had been at a clinic, so clients were, you know, handed to me on a silver platter or the way my model was there.

[00:16:46] Lindsey Konchar: Was pushing into other appointments or I’d get a warm handoff from one of the doctors or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. So it was just totally different. So yes, so like the, how do I find clients? And again, who’s gonna trust me with their money stuff? ’cause I’m gonna, I’m a solution focused brief therapist. Like I am not the one who’s gonna be sitting with you for years at a time and Right.

[00:17:07] Lindsey Konchar: Like, I’m like, let’s get in there, figure out the presenting problem. Right. Are you and your husband fighting? Are you just like avoiding money altogether and we just need to work on some individuals stuff with you? Right. We talk a little bit about your money story. We get into that. It’s important, but I don’t dwell on that.

[00:17:23] Lindsey Konchar: I’m super action focused. Yeah. ’cause then we quickly get into goals and your money stuff. Like we look at all the numbers and we make a plan and we do it all together. Um, so that part to me was like. Are people gonna understand like, what I really do and, and you know, but I think actually having that therapeutic background is so less intimidating to somebody than just like a straight up money coach or somebody who’s like, we’re gonna be in the spreadsheet and look at your investments.

[00:17:54] Lindsey Konchar: Like, that is just 0% my approach, you know? Yeah. So I think the way I show up and, you know, on social media and whatever, and yeah, I think it’s just, there’s been a lot of trust that I’ve built with people, which is really nice. So it was for sure, for sure. And even still, like, I was sick for two weeks and then I came out of my like, cloud of sickness and I was like, do I even know what money is?

[00:18:16] Lindsey Konchar: Like what? Like who am I? I’m like, I don’t, I don’t know what this means. So it’s still like, it still pops up sometimes. Then you get back in the swing of things and you’re like, oh yeah, yeah. Wait, I do know my shit. Okay. We’re good. We’re good. We’re, we can do, we’re good, we’re good, we’re good. We’re 

[00:18:31] Katy Ripp: kind of clients.

[00:18:31] Katy Ripp: Do you have. 

[00:18:33] Lindsey Konchar: Great question. I see individuals, mostly women who are like in their own business, a lot of entrepreneurs with variable income, because when we have variable income, it’s an added layer of complexity. Right. So I, I work with, you know, a lot of, actually, therapists are my clients, which is funny because again, they’ve had the training in therapy mm-hmm.

[00:18:54] Lindsey Konchar: Or in their specific niche of therapy, but they don’t know how to run a business. They don’t know their numbers. A lot of like photographers, a lot of creatives that come to me. Sure. And then on the other side, I also probably have 50% of my caseload right now as couples. Oh, interesting. Oh yeah. My couples work is.

[00:19:09] Lindsey Konchar: So interesting because they’re so sick of fighting about money. It’s like at every turn. And one person is always like in the spreadsheet, like, how could you spend $300 at Target? And the other person is like, I don’t know, I bought our family groceries. Like, is it okay? Oh my 

[00:19:23] Katy Ripp: God, I, you can’t even imagine how many times I’ve heard that like exact conversation, right?

[00:19:28] Katy Ripp: Mm-hmm. Like, I’m buying fucking groceries and you’re freaking out. Yes. Like, what are we talking about here? 

[00:19:35] Lindsey Konchar: Yes. And there’s a huge misalignment from like. Reality, right? Because I call it, again, this is a generalization, heterosexual relationship. Yeah. But, but most of the time women are what I call the CFO of the household as far as like, maybe even like the COO, right?

[00:19:50] Lindsey Konchar: Because they’re the ones doing all the operations, they’re doing the grocery shopping, they’re buying the kids clothes, they’re doing the day-to-day stuff. Meanwhile, the guy is typically the one being like, we’re spending too much money. We’re spending too much money. And you’re like, well, am I spending too much money?

[00:20:08] Lindsey Konchar: Or like, I don’t know what else to do. I’m like, meal prepping. I’m like doing all the things that I can. And when we actually sit down and look at it together, because what, what we see is often the one person who’s like, we’re spending too much money is then the one that really can see the day-to-day stuff finally, and is like, oh, you’re.

[00:20:27] Lindsey Konchar: You’re not spending too, I couldn’t do it better than what you’re doing. Interesting. You know? Mm-hmm. And we can get a little closer in what the reality is for both partners. 

[00:20:37] Katy Ripp: And what you say too is, and this is from a woman’s point of view, right? ’cause I work with a lot of women too, that it’s also the like attack of I am wrong.

[00:20:48] Katy Ripp: Mm-hmm. I’m doing something wrong all the fucking time. And of course that person is going to like feel bad, or that person is going to then go out and spend money on purpose because now you’re living like, here’s his expectation of me, and so I’m going to meet that expectation, good or bad. 

[00:21:10] Lindsey Konchar: Right? 

[00:21:10] Katy Ripp: I, I mean, there’s so much to this that goes on and on and on.

[00:21:13] Katy Ripp: Not to mention the women out there. And again, this audience is not like, oh my God, you’re not including all the people. Right? Like this audience knows that we’re talking general statements. Yes. Yeah. But mostly the wife, the partner, the female in there is like also ignoring it, ignoring finances altogether and has no idea where anything is.

[00:21:38] Katy Ripp: And I was the CFO of our family and everything was getting paid on time ’cause everything was automated, but I had no idea how much money we had. Mm-hmm. I had no idea where it was. I didn’t know how much debt we were in. I knew we were in a ton of debt, but I didn’t know where, why, how like some, and it was my fault.

[00:21:57] Katy Ripp: Mm-hmm. It was all my fault and I, I mean, nobody told me it was my fault. I said it was my fault. Mm-hmm. I somehow like took that on. And then we go into like if you’re an entrepreneur or if you are. Making good money, right? So like you’re making money. So for me, and this took me a really long time to figure out, I never have a problem making money.

[00:22:20] Lindsey Konchar: Mm-hmm. 

[00:22:20] Katy Ripp: I have a problem keeping money. Mm-hmm. So like, it was making me feel so bad that immediately if I’d make some money, I’d push it out. And that didn’t mean I was like frivolously spending crazy things. Like we’ve started businesses, we’ve done remodels, like we’d had investments, but I couldn’t have it close to me.

[00:22:41] Lindsey Konchar: Mm-hmm. 

[00:22:42] Katy Ripp: Can you talk about like, is that a common feeling? Is that something that. Especially when you work with entrepreneurs. Like not a problem. Making it a little bit more of a problem, organizing it, keeping it, feeling it, wanting it, deserving it, having worth around it, all those things. 

[00:22:59] Lindsey Konchar: Totally. Yeah. And that’s super common for entrepreneurs because that’s in part why we like entrepreneurship, right?

[00:23:05] Lindsey Konchar: Is like the income is endless. I’ll just, and that we have then, then we sink into that mindset of like, well, if I need more, I’ll make more. I can always make more money, which is great. Like that is a good thing to believe that you can always make more money. Some people are totally stifled on the other side where they’re like, I’m just stuck in this job, right?

[00:23:23] Lindsey Konchar: I’m stuck where I’m at. So like that part is one hurdle that you’ve already overcome, which is amazing. What I often see with people who are almost like rejecting the money though in, in a way. Is, what are your thoughts about being rich? If you say I’m a multimillionaire or I’m going to be a multimillionaire, how does that feel in your body?

[00:23:44] Lindsey Konchar: It like might give you the ick and a lot of people, it does give them the ick and because they have this strong, deep seated feeling that if you are rich, you are bad. Right? You’re sending spaceships into the world when you could be helping the fires out in LA like you’re doing Right. Like Bezos stuff, like whatever.

[00:24:05] Lindsey Konchar: Yeah. And so we have this like, and that’s probably because those were messages that you received early on in your childhood of like, so and so was really wealthy and therefore, you know, it was probably that your parents were jealous or envious of like the other things that people had and they didn’t really know and they didn’t know how to process that themselves because of course they were never taught money, right?

[00:24:26] Lindsey Konchar: So it’s a cycle. And so a lot of times I see women, particularly women who are doing that, where they’re like, having money actually feels kind of icky ’cause I’ve never been told that I should have it. And so we, you know, we push it away. And when we can start recognizing some of that, it’s like, oh, actually money is an amplifier.

[00:24:45] Lindsey Konchar: Money is a magnifier. So if you’re a good person, if you’re the one who’s already being generous, then when you have more money, you’re simply just going to be more generous, right? It just magnifies these things that you already are. So if you can be a good person from the start, you can be a good person when you have a lot of money too.

[00:25:05] Lindsey Konchar: So that, that’s like one. Scenario. It’s not true for everybody, but I think that’s definitely an avenue that I see a lot, a lot, a lot with women. 

[00:25:13] Katy Ripp: It took me a really long time to figure this out for myself because I used to feel guilty for, I mean, we have brick and mortar businesses, right? So like I stand behind the counter and charge somebody for a bottle of wine and it was $38.

[00:25:26] Katy Ripp: And I was like, oh God, that’s really expensive. And I, you know, I like, I felt bad about it and then I’d give him a discount or, or whatever it was. And that went on for a really long time. And at some point, two things came to me and it resonated with me. One is. I don’t know their financial situation, so I don’t know if it’s expensive.

[00:25:47] Katy Ripp: Expensive is relative. Some people buy $38 bottles of wine. Sometimes they spend $380 and sometimes they spend $3,800. It’s not my responsibility to be in charge of their budget. That’s their responsibility. The other thing that has changed my personal mindset so much around business, around what I’m offering as a coach, what I’m offering in my other businesses is especially women, it is our responsibility as good, wholesome, creative, resourceful women to make money so we can go out and do really amazing things with it.

[00:26:27] Katy Ripp: Because whether or not you believe it, you like it, whatever. Our world is built on time and money, that’s it, right? And so use the money you can make to buy back your time because one is infinite. Yeah, you can always make more money and one is finite. Mm-hmm. Time is finite. You don’t get more of it. You can’t make more of it, you can’t extend it, you can’t do anything with it except buy more of it back.

[00:26:54] Katy Ripp: Mm-hmm. And so we talk about, and a lot of my coaching, we talk about outsourcing and that’s like, when is the fir like when’s the right time to hire a bookkeeper? When’s the right time to hire a financial therapist? When’s the right time to hire a coach? When’s the right time to hire my first five employees?

[00:27:11] Katy Ripp: When is that time? And my answer is always now, 

[00:27:15] Lindsey Konchar: like, 

[00:27:16] Katy Ripp: now. 

[00:27:17] Lindsey Konchar: Right. 

[00:27:18] Katy Ripp: Except that’s, that’s like another hard thing. Like, well I can do it myself. So, you know, all of a sudden, all of us women are super resourceful and we can do it ourselves. We can do everything. Doesn’t mean we should. Right, 

[00:27:34] Lindsey Konchar: right, right. Because we’re so capable.

[00:27:36] Lindsey Konchar: You know, and I do see that a a lot, a lot of times too with women. But what I will say, my only caveat to that is when we’re like brand new. ’cause a lot of people I see are the ones who are like brand new, right? And then they’re buying like the kajabi’s of the world and they’re buying like these big huge pack and I’m like, let’s just make sure that we have clients.

[00:27:57] Lindsey Konchar: Yeah. And then once we have clients, yeah. Right. Like let’s like, and then we can move into that. But I totally hear you and I totally agree with you. Once you’re, once you’re doing that, like to alleviate some of the things that aren’t playing to your strengths and then you can lean into the strengths of what you can bring into your business and, and free up some of that time to do that.

[00:28:14] Lindsey Konchar: Or free time to have more balance in your life and in your work and personal stuff. Amazing. All for it. All for it. 

[00:28:21] Katy Ripp: You had said priorities. I work a lot with values, right? Like where are our values? And I mean, I would imagine that, and I know this is true in my own personal life that I was spending. By somebody else’s values or a prescribed value, right?

[00:28:40] Katy Ripp: Like I say this a lot. If you ask a woman what her number one value is in life, almost all of them are gonna say family. If you have children, if you have, I mean, almost all of them are gonna say family right off the bat. Again, not everybody. And if you’ve done values work with me, you better not. But like we’re, it’s not the family necessarily that we value, it’s the connection to the family and your value is connection.

[00:29:07] Katy Ripp: Mm-hmm. So there’s also how we spend is so connected to our like really, truly aligned values. And when you’re ignoring or spending or whatever, that’s misaligned with somebody else’s value, I think that’s where everybody gets stuck or everybody gets in debt or everybody gets into a situation where they have no idea.

[00:29:30] Katy Ripp: Tell me what people could do. 

[00:29:32] Lindsey Konchar: Okay, so there’s lots of parts here. 

[00:29:34] Katy Ripp: Yeah, 

[00:29:34] Lindsey Konchar: one intentional spending is my favorite thing to talk about. Literally when you started going down that rabbit hole, I was like, my heart is racing because I love it so much. I just could talk about it for years. So yes, I think we should definitely touch on, I.

[00:29:50] Lindsey Konchar: How we want to be spending in order to increase our baseline level of happiness versus just buying things quickly to get a quick dopamine hit and then falling back down. Right. So that’s one part what I am really, really 

[00:30:03] Katy Ripp: passionate about is aligning with our values a hundred percent. Like, well, first of all, many women don’t even know their values.

[00:30:10] Katy Ripp: We don’t know what we fucking want. Mm-hmm. We have been told what we should want. Right. Like, and a lot of people that are my age, somewhere hovering around forties, fifties, maybe a little bit older, maybe a little bit younger, depending on where you are. But like, I have checked all the boxes that I was told to check.

[00:30:27] Katy Ripp: Mm-hmm. I, I finished high school, I finished college, possibly. I got married, I had the kids, I got the dog. I bought the American Dream house. I maybe, you know, upgraded, got a second house. I’ve got a 401k, I’ve got some profit sharing. I also want to fucking scratch my eyes out ’cause this is not the life that I.

[00:30:49] Katy Ripp: Am meant to have, but I am stuck now because I’m so close to retirement if I leave my job, you know, that like we can get really far down deep into that. But where I’m sitting is I’m working with a lot of clients that are like right there. I’ve checked all the boxes and now I’m like, I still feel really hollow.

[00:31:13] Katy Ripp: I still feel really empty. And what I’ve discovered is that they don’t even know what they want. They haven’t done the work to figure out what they value in their life in order to get to the next level. Whatever that level looks like, I, I don’t get to choose that. You get to choose that and there’s so much around money and values.

[00:31:38] Katy Ripp: Money and intentions, like why am I spending this? And I think it’s a, it runs really parallel and I’ve talked to other registered dieticians about this. It runs really parallel to food. 

[00:31:50] Lindsey Konchar: Mm-hmm. 

[00:31:51] Katy Ripp: Really parallel to like, exercise, fitness, our health goals, our value isn’t losing weight. If our value is health, there’s a different answer for that.

[00:32:02] Katy Ripp: So tell me about the values around money. Like what can we, like, I want you to go down your rabbit hole so bad. This 

[00:32:10] Lindsey Konchar: is my time. This is your time. This shine this. I’ve been waiting and I’ll, 

[00:32:15] Katy Ripp: I’ll really try to keep my mouth shut because this also gets me so jacked up. I love this part of it because this part changed my life.

[00:32:23] Katy Ripp: This part allowed me to literally pay off $244,000 worth of debt last year. I know that sounds like a crazy number. And we, we had investment properties that we sold in order to do that. So I know that’s like a huge number and yes, like when you hear numbers like that from Dave Ramsey or whatever, and then you hear how they do it, you’re like, well, I don’t have a fucking commercial building to sell to make a profit on so I can pay off this debt.

[00:32:50] Katy Ripp: I get it. I understand. Like that’s a big number. We also made some good. Financial decisions earlier on in our life that allowed us to do that. So I understand that, but this piece, this values piece is how I did it. 

[00:33:04] Lindsey Konchar: Mm-hmm. 

[00:33:05] Katy Ripp: It’s how I started and it’s all to scale. It’s the only way you can start. To me, it’s like you have set this foundational piece.

[00:33:15] Lindsey Konchar: I agree. And this is the piece that has been missing historically in financial education. Because here’s the thing, we have been taught to save. We have been taught to invest. That stuff is easy. We’ve been taught to be frugal. We’ve been taught that stuff is so easy to find. Do you know what isn’t easy to find?

[00:33:31] Lindsey Konchar: Is learning the skill of spending money and hear me loud and clear. It is a skill that we need to practice. Right. And I think to your point of, yes, $244,000, that is a huge number, but $20,000. Worth of high interest credit card debt can feel just as suffocating to somebody else. Right. So like I think that scale is important to like, it doesn’t matter.

[00:33:57] Lindsey Konchar: I’ve been under the most credit card debt I have ever had is $5,000 and I truly couldn’t take a full breath. 

[00:34:04] Katy Ripp: Yeah. Like 

[00:34:04] Lindsey Konchar: I remember that feeling. And so yes, like the weight might get heavier and heavier and heavier, but depending on It’s all 

[00:34:12] Katy Ripp: relative though. Exactly. And it is sort of the same feeling. I don’t think it gets worse the higher it gets.

[00:34:18] Katy Ripp: We had five $20,000 credit cards maxed out at high interest. 

[00:34:25] Lindsey Konchar: Yeah. 

[00:34:25] Katy Ripp: And we probably very likely had the same exact feeling about it. 

[00:34:29] Lindsey Konchar: Mm-hmm. 

[00:34:30] Katy Ripp: Right? Like it was just bigger for me. But the number didn’t really matter. It was the feeling that mattered, like that heaviness that you talk about and the I am wrong and the, I fucked this up for us and I, this is my fault.

[00:34:46] Katy Ripp: And. Instead of trying to figure out a way to get out of it, I just like kept feeling bad about it. And then we like stay in this vicious cycle until it’s almost too late. 

[00:34:56] Lindsey Konchar: Mm-hmm. 

[00:34:56] Katy Ripp: So keep going. 

[00:34:58] Lindsey Konchar: Yeah, no. Yeah. And I think what you’re talking about is that black box of shame, right? So like, as long as you’re, you’re stuck in that black box of shame and until you actually can open up that box and let a little light into what’s really going on, what’s the whole picture?

[00:35:11] Lindsey Konchar: You’re gonna be stuck there. And I know it is so hard to ask for help, and I know that, but that is why people like me and you exist, right? So we can not be the Dave Ramseys of the world shaming you out of your debt. That sucks. Nobody wants to be like, well, yeah, it’s because you bought lattes. Like, shut up Dave.

[00:35:29] Lindsey Konchar: But yeah, like 

[00:35:30] Katy Ripp: also I have a like comfort and pleasure value and I am never giving up fucking lattes. And by the way, it’s not that if you gave up lattes. You could get out of debt. Like that is an option. It doesn’t move the needle enough to like sacrifice it to me anyway. I mean, people can argue with this.

[00:35:50] Katy Ripp: I guess there are other things that I was willing to give up. I also have talked to a lot of women that have debt and they’re like, I literally can’t cut out anymore. 

[00:36:02] Lindsey Konchar: Right? 

[00:36:03] Katy Ripp: I’m never gonna get out of this because I can’t cut down anymore. I cannot Now, could you maybe, right? Like, you could get pushed a little bit.

[00:36:12] Katy Ripp: Maybe you could, you know, whatever. But when you start sacrificing your life and your pleasure, you know, then we’re going into territory that doesn’t really make sense. But then you also need to switch your mindset. Like, okay, we can’t cut anymore. Can we make more? Like if you can’t afford it, how can you afford it?

[00:36:33] Katy Ripp: Mm-hmm. Can you sell something? I mean, in, in my world. Oh, we had a lake house that we bought because we thought that that was the next right step for us. We were successful. We wanted another little place. Like we got this like cute little place. We got a good deal on it. And then all of a sudden I was like, oh my God, we have a mortgage payment that we can quote afford, but I’m also sitting on a hundred thousand dollars worth of credit card debt that if I had that payment, we could be out in 10 months.

[00:37:05] Katy Ripp: Mm-hmm. And it really got down to, is this really a sacrifice or what’s more important to me? What am I valuing more this perception that I’ve made it. Or financial freedom and financial peace. And it, I mean, it was an easy decision and we put the place up for sale the next day. You talk about that little box, like black box of shame, and I love, like you, you sort of used your fingers to like peek it open.

[00:37:32] Katy Ripp: Mm-hmm. I know people can’t see you do that, but it’s sort of this cute like, oh God, I, I wanna look inside, but I’m not really sure, like, peeking out of a box. What would you suggest people do? So it’s not only, I always talk about like pulling shame out from underneath the bed and, you know, if you love Brene Brown, she does a lot of shame work and there’s a lot of information out there about shame, but I always say like, the obstacle has always been my way.

[00:38:00] Katy Ripp: So I. Have realized that almost every sort of quote unquote issue or problem I’ve had in my life has like shown me the way for something else, but I had to take the shame off of it. I had to like literally pull it out from underneath the bed, say, thank you for protecting me, and like just unzip it and throw it away.

[00:38:21] Katy Ripp: I just had to do that. And for me, not for everybody, for me it was sharing stories, it was writing it and sharing it with the public. It was being on camera and really like making myself accountable. That is not for everybody, and I totally understand that. Like it’s not for everybody. I get it. What are some other ways that people can like, just take a little peek outta that box.

[00:38:47] Lindsey Konchar: Two things that I would say here is, you’re right, shame lived there for a while, right? I would, I would acknowledge and, and like you said, thank it. Like literally be like, thank you for doing what you did like, right? Like you held this when I needed you to hold it. But now we’re moving into a different part of our lives and a different season and in this season I need to look in my shame box.

[00:39:10] Lindsey Konchar: I need to figure it out. But when we’re ready to peak, this is the hard part. And I would say I. To your point, love Brna. Also another social worker. So I’m like, yeah, quit. Do your thing. But so that vulnerability piece and shame lives so close together and we need to accept the fact that we need to get vulnerable.

[00:39:30] Lindsey Konchar: You’re right that it looks different for every single person, right? Some people are like, I love the accountability that social media brings to me. Some people love that. Other people are like, I would rather die, right? Like, there’s two totally extreme versions here, and that’s fine. But either way, vulnerability is going to be your answer.

[00:39:49] Lindsey Konchar: Whether that’s vulnerable with yourself and just really like looking in the mirror and talking to yourself. That’s vulnerability with your partner and, and this is how I approach money conversations with partners, right, is first you are not hungry, you are not tired, you are not, you know, sad or lonely, none of those things.

[00:40:08] Lindsey Konchar: You are in a healthy state of mind. Your belly is full, he or she is ready to talk about this too. And you ask, is now a good time? I have something I want to talk to you about, right? And you make sure that now might be a good time. And then you approach the conversation in I statements and you say, look, I’m noticing that we are fighting about money a lot.

[00:40:29] Lindsey Konchar: I’m noticing that I play a role in this dynamic that I really want to change and. I am wondering if we could just talk about what that might look like. Right. And then they can meet you with not defensiveness, you didn’t say, well you are spending all this money and you are doing that. Right. That’s a totally different approach.

[00:40:51] Lindsey Konchar: So we’re approaching the vulnerability and we’re saying, I played a role in building this dynamic. Right. A lot of times I see like the permission slip. Mm-hmm. Daddy needs to go to mommy to ask if he can go get something. Like, no, we don’t. We’re equal partners. Right. And so call out whatever that dynamic is.

[00:41:06] Lindsey Konchar: I know that you’ve wanted me to get involved in the money for a while, and I know I’ve avoided it for a long time and I think I’m ready. In 2025, this is our gonna be our year to let me out of my shame box because I feel a lot of shame around this. Right? And then it’s calling somebody like me, like whomever, to add an additional layer of help.

[00:41:26] Lindsey Konchar: And that’s how we start peaking, right? Is just letting that vulnerability take hold and self-accountability and say like, what has the dynamic been and how can I change that dynamic? And just like I have my intentional spending planner is what I use with all of my clients. And you can literally get a copy on Etsy for like 10 bucks and you can just start plugging the numbers in and seeing what’s going on, right?

[00:41:52] Lindsey Konchar: Or you can get vulnerable and say like, I have been following the path of what society has placed on me as the right way to do life. And if I am feeling empty, I’m gonna just take. A couple hours and like brain dump. Like, what would my world look like if I just let myself dream? We don’t, we’re adults now.

[00:42:13] Lindsey Konchar: We don’t dream anymore. That’s for, that’s kid stuff, right? But we need to take that time. And again, that can be your, your piece of vulnerability that’s opening that shame box of, I just, I just wanna see like, what are the possibilities? What are my options? And then we can start, you know, setting those north stars as I call them, right?

[00:42:32] Lindsey Konchar: You’re guiding lights for how we’re making purchasing decisions and those stepping stones to getting you out of debt, right? That can all come, but we need to be vulnerable and let ourselves hear what our internal thoughts are doing instead of drowning out those internal thoughts by listening to, you know, love podcasts.

[00:42:47] Lindsey Konchar: I have one. You have one? We’re listening to one right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, turn ’em off for a sec, right? Yeah. Put some time on your calendar. You’ll hear me say this time and time again. Show me your calendar, show me your bank statements, and I will show you what you are prioritizing. Okay? If that’s scary to you, you’re like, oh, shit, I can’t have her see my bank statements on my calendar.

[00:43:07] Lindsey Konchar: Oh my God. So embarrassing. Then we need to reevaluate what’s going on. Anybody at any time can look at my calendar and be like, oh, it’s clear what Lindsay values, right? I value date nights with my husband that’s on my calendar. Yes, I value connection with my girlfriends going on a girls trip in two weeks, right?

[00:43:22] Lindsey Konchar: Like that’s the stuff that I wanna see show up, and I want you to take a minute. And be vulnerable with yourself. Turn down the noise and listen to what’s happening internally and place those goals and then start moving forward into like accomplishing those goals and those, you know, getting your priorities aligned.

[00:43:40] Katy Ripp: You’re listening to two podcast hosts right now, tell you to turn off the podcasts. I get my best ideas when I’m walking in silence, right? Like, I consider it part of my job because that’s when I can process a lot of the things that go on in my head. And sometimes we just have to turn it off. We just, I actually just saw something, I can’t even remember who it was from, but I just saw something on Instagram that was like, I started with a podcast on my walk today and I just decided that I needed a good 20 minutes.

[00:44:10] Katy Ripp: I just turn, I took my earbuds out and I just listened and I just walked and I came up with some really amazing ideas and there is something really powerful about being in nature in the quiet and. Or even like walking down New York City on the street, but also without something like jamming in your ears, even though Lindsay, and I want you to listen to this.

[00:44:35] Katy Ripp: I mean after, yeah, like listen to this one first and then go, but, and there are some really powerful money podcasts out there, and money mindset tricks and money mindset philosophies and podcasts and books and all of these things. But some of this has to come from within, almost all of it really. Lots of people can give you practical advice.

[00:45:00] Katy Ripp: And yes, there’s 50,000 spreadsheets out there and something that works for somebody doesn’t work for somebody else. And this is a really good example. I have had every single budgeting app there is. Every single one, every dollar by Dave Ramsey. I mean Mint and y is it, you need a budget. YNAB. Like all of the things, the bank ones, the, I had everything connected and everything automated.

[00:45:25] Katy Ripp: What that made me do was ignore it. 

[00:45:28] Lindsey Konchar: You know what’s so funny? Sorry, I’m gonna interrupt you. Oh, go ahead. I have money dates with myself every Tuesday morning when I do my payroll for myself, and then I do my, I look at my personal finances, but you know what I do is I do it on a desktop. Mm-hmm. I don’t think that apps work because to your point, we are so used to being on our phones all the time and getting sucked into whatever app needs our attention next.

[00:45:50] Lindsey Konchar: That when I actually take time to sit down with my desktop, it’s like so much more intentional. Mm-hmm. And so much. You know, I make sure my environment is good. Sorry for interrupting, but that’s, no, it’s, that’s what I, I do like, I, I really wanna make this like a, this is a moment for me and my relationship with money to do good.

[00:46:09] Lindsey Konchar: Right? Instead of like the, oh, I’m just gonna do that two minutes. Yeah. It’s, that’s less intentional. And we want intentionality, thrust into every single thing that you are doing in this, this money moment that you’re having. 

[00:46:20] Katy Ripp: A hundred percent. So I, last year, my only goal, well, for decades, my goal was to get out of debt, right?

[00:46:28] Katy Ripp: Like, that was my resolution. I mean, lose weight and get outta debt and save money. Those were my three reso and make my bed, which I’ve never made my bed, but those are my three resolutions every single year since I was 18 years old. I, it’s no joke, right? Like, lose weight, save money, get outta debt. And so instead, last year after a ton of work on myself, I said, I’m not setting a resolution like that anymore.

[00:46:50] Katy Ripp: I said, the only thing I’m gonna do is pay attention to my money. That’s it. I just, I had to, it took me eight hours one day, and I know this sounds crazy. It took me eight hours on a Saturday with my laptop of going through every single credit card statement, every single interest rate, the minimum payment.

[00:47:12] Katy Ripp: I put everything into a spreadsheet intentionally, and then I said to myself, I’m only spending 10 minutes every Monday, my money Mondays, every single Monday. I set my egg timer for 10 minutes and whatever I get done, I get done. But now it’s just 10 minutes. And now I love it. Now I’m like, oh my God. Like, let’s play with money.

[00:47:34] Katy Ripp: What do we got here now? Right. But it was really just that one intentional piece of I’m only gonna pay attention. That’s it. I was only going to look. 

[00:47:45] Lindsey Konchar: Mm-hmm. 

[00:47:45] Katy Ripp: Because what was happening was I was so terrified to look because I didn’t know what was out there. And to be really honest, it turned out way better than I thought it would.

[00:47:55] Katy Ripp: I, I think probably people think they’re in a way different situation than they are now. Did we have a ton of debt? Absolutely. But our net worth was super high actually. Like we had a really interesting net worth number. I just thought we were like, we were gonna die with no money in the bank, right? Like, that wasn’t actually true.

[00:48:14] Katy Ripp: We had made some good asset decisions. We had made some good decisions along the way. The businesses were doing okay. Like we, it, it was a, a little bit of a breath of fresh air, a little bit of a reward to this isn’t quite as dire as I thought, but now I need to make a plan. And here’s, here’s where I started.

[00:48:37] Katy Ripp: Black 

[00:48:37] Lindsey Konchar: box. Right. Yeah. Is like looking, and I, I hear this time and time again with my clients as well is maybe the numbers aren’t what you want them to be, but they always, always, always feel a semblance of relief when they’re like, but at least now I know. At least now I know and I can start and I love it.

[00:48:57] Lindsey Konchar: I mean, yeah, a hundred percent. That’s, that’s where you need to go. 

[00:49:01] Katy Ripp: I always hear, uh, well one of my favorite quotes is 99% is torture and a hundred percent is bliss, which means like 99% when you are like, have one foot in and one foot out of a box, whatever box that is, which means that you’re sort of paying attention, but you’re not all the way there.

[00:49:19] Katy Ripp: Once you’re sort of all the way there, it’s total relief. And I mean, I have, the only thing I really wanted was peace around it. I really, my only goal was just to not have to worry about money anymore. Whether it was. I didn’t know how much was coming in. I needed more of it. I needed to spend less. I, I just didn’t wanna have to fucking spend the energy on it anymore.

[00:49:45] Katy Ripp: It was so exhausting and so draining for me, and I knew it was money for me. I knew it. Like I had done some other work in other, you know, pie pieces on my wheel of life that I knew it was now this one, and it happened so quickly. Like once I opened up the box, I told the universe that like, I just wanna be intentional about this.

[00:50:07] Katy Ripp: I just wanna pay attention. It was like, she’s ready, let’s go. Like now we can. Now she’s finally here and she’s opened up the box and she’s pulled it out from under the bed, and she’s stripped the shame of it. Let’s help her out. Mm-hmm. That’s, that’s really what felt like happened for me. Mm-hmm. 

[00:50:27] Lindsey Konchar: Yeah. Oh, I love it.

[00:50:28] Lindsey Konchar: Yeah. A hundred percent. A hundred percent. I think when you start really looking into it and letting the world. Do its thing for you. It, it makes a world, a world, world of difference. 

[00:50:37] Katy Ripp: I feel like you could go, we talked about this, like you could go 40 different directions in this, right? Like it’s your money story.

[00:50:45] Katy Ripp: It’s how you believe in money. It’s how you believe in money with your partner. It’s how you partner believes in money. It’s like paying attention, being attentional, like there’s so much out there out there. If you had one piece of advice for somebody to just, they, they really, by the end of the year, they really want some financial peace.

[00:51:07] Katy Ripp: They want to be able to get into a place where they don’t worry about money anymore. First steps. 

[00:51:17] Lindsey Konchar: First steps. Ask yourself what is working? Ask yourself what is not working, okay? So like you can get a little bit more clarity around. Like, well, this piece we actually do quite well. I am regularly investing in my 401k, whatever it is, right?

[00:51:32] Lindsey Konchar: Like that piece is good. This is not working. The communication is not working. The systems, or lack thereof are not working right? Whatever it is that isn’t working and get really honest about that, that part sucks. But it’s true. And then to your point, Ray, I would lay it all out there. I use percentage based everything because of the variable income.

[00:51:53] Lindsey Konchar: And so I think it’s really nice to know what your numbers are, right? You mentioned net worth. That’s a good number to know. I don’t know if that’s necessarily the one that people need to see. Sometimes it is. I like to see what is happening in your spending category, or I actually call it your musts, right?

[00:52:11] Lindsey Konchar: Like your housing, what are you paying for your groceries, your transportation, like all of those are kinda like your musts, right? And then I like to look at what is your savings, right? Like where. Would you have money in savings? Do you want money in savings? Right? You need to figure that number out. What are your investments?

[00:52:28] Lindsey Konchar: What’s that percentage? What’s your post-tax in investments percentage? And then where is your discretionary shame-free spending going? Because again, I’m a firm believer in spending money. I love it. I love to spend money, but you need to know where is it kind of capped for you? And so that’s often the one that I see.

[00:52:48] Lindsey Konchar: Convenience is the demise of a lot of people. So as much as I like to get to that root cause of like what’s going on? Mm-hmm. And why are we spending money the way that we’re spending and how are we making purchasing decisions all really cool, but in the meantime, let’s get some quick wins. And that might mean.

[00:53:06] Lindsey Konchar: Getting your credit card off of your cell phone or your computer, right? Because we have this thing of like, once we’re on the couch and we’re just sitting and doom scrolling, and it’s so easy to get caught up in talk shop or on Amazon because it, you know, they’re smart. They did this to develop these apps to make it so easy to spend money that it is harder for you to not spend money on these apps.

[00:53:27] Lindsey Konchar: So I take all credit cards off of phones when we’re trying to get outta debt specifically, or trying to get a handle on discretionary spending. That’s one micro barrier. I also like to make people stand up to get to their wallets, right? Because again, when you don’t have it on your phone and you’re like, oh, I’m just gonna DoorDash it, and then you’re like, oh wait, I actually have to stand up and get my wallet.

[00:53:50] Lindsey Konchar: I might as well just stand up and walk to my fridge instead of to my wallet. It’s like this, it just, it’s not super. Crazy stuff that you always have to do. It’s these really simple micro barriers that you’re putting in place, that are making your world 0.2% less convenient and it’s gonna save you a heck of a lot of money.

[00:54:11] Lindsey Konchar: That 48 hour rule that I have in my house that I told you about at the very beginning of all of this, you can put stuff in a cart and in 48 hours, if you’re still wanting it, great, go back. You might need it cool, but the amount of times that we are looking for entertainment, we are looking for a distraction, we are looking to not feel bored.

[00:54:31] Lindsey Konchar: We are looking for that quick hint of dopamine. So we buy something and like two minutes later we forgot that we even bought it because we’re dissociating because of the hard thing that happened at and and work today. Right? That kind of stuff is helpful when we can start putting these micro barriers in place.

[00:54:48] Lindsey Konchar: I don’t know if I really answered your question as far as like what’s the right, but I think those can be helpful little tips and tricks of like, yeah, this is where we can start and then we can look at the bigger picture of like, what’s really happening in the full, full grand scheme of things. 

[00:55:03] Katy Ripp: I always say it’s all the things that we roll our eyes at that actually fucking work Uhhuh.

[00:55:09] Katy Ripp: Yeah. Like I rolled my eyes at that shit, like exactly what you said for decades, right? Yeah. Like, well, I actually can memorize, I have all my credit cards memorized. And so that was really difficult for me. You know, there was a time where you had to like punch in your numbers all the time, and I just have a numbers brain so I can memorize numbers really easily.

[00:55:28] Katy Ripp: So the first thing I did was get all new credit cards. Credit cards. Yep. And so I didn’t have the numbers, so I, I moved everything onto, um, my debit card. I, I just decided that like, if there’s anything connected, it’s gonna have to be on a debit card, which meant like all of these things, you have to sort of go back and I had to realize like, where are all these automatic payments coming from?

[00:55:52] Katy Ripp: Right? Like, I had one on, you know, automatic payments on a Southwest card, on a Costco card, on a, you know, ’cause at some point I was gonna get points enough to run travel, uh, like that kind of thing. Also, to your other point of the companies are meant to do this. First of all, they have psychologists, psychiatrists, they know how to sell to you, and you are being sold to at every corner.

[00:56:17] Lindsey Konchar: Mm-hmm. 

[00:56:18] Katy Ripp: At every single place that you go to on your phone, you are being sold to. So I got to a point where it was God, am I, am I being sold to? Like, am I being manipulated here? Like, do I really want this? And that 48 hour rule, right? Like three years ago, I would’ve rolled my eyes at that. Now I’m like, God, that’s a really good idea if I just leave stuff in my cart for 48 hours because there is really no urgency.

[00:56:44] Lindsey Konchar: Mm-hmm. 

[00:56:44] Katy Ripp: My husband and I also have a rule about the limits. Right? We can sort of spend up to a certain limit. It used to be 50 bucks, then it was 500. Now it’s more like 5,000. But you know, we’d, we have a limit where we have to come together and make this decision together because these are big purchases.

[00:57:04] Katy Ripp: And so maybe having that limit, like give yourself some, and I love what you said about shame-free spending, give yourself some shame-Free spending, give it to yourself. Otherwise, why are we living? Why are we working? Like, the other thing I started to do is like, how many hours is this costing me? 

[00:57:22] Lindsey Konchar: I do chip Chipotle burritos.

[00:57:24] Lindsey Konchar: How many Chipotle burritos could I get for this thing? And if it’s like an insane number, I’m like, okay, I think I actually would rather have the 20 burritos. I love that. I literally do. I don’t know why, but I do. 

[00:57:36] Katy Ripp: I love that so much. But like finding out your dollar per hour and then realizing like, do I wanna work two more hours to get this thing?

[00:57:45] Katy Ripp: I don’t think so. I actually don’t. I think I would rather take two hours off of my day. Of hundred percent working 

[00:57:52] Lindsey Konchar: well and this is what I did. So for us, I’m super big. Again, goals, goals, goals. I like, I love goals. And my husband and I were very much like floundering. We had, we had done a big trip to Switzerland and Faroh Islands and we were like, okay, where’s our next like big international trip?

[00:58:08] Lindsey Konchar: And we were kind of going back and forth on like all these places. And the night before Black Friday, which I’m a big Black Friday shopper. I love it. I save up all year for it. That’s when I do 85% of my Christmas shopping. And then I get stuff for myself too. I love it. Yeah, it’s great. And so I get the whole day on Black Friday, wake up before the kids are up and I’m out the door and I’m gone for the day.

[00:58:28] Lindsey Konchar: Mommy goes and watches a mo, I get to see a movie, it’s makeup. Oh my God, I love that. It’s, it’s my day and I thrive. I love it. And the night before on Thanksgiving night, we were laying down to bed and my husband was like, okay. I think I’ve decided I’m good with Portugal. Like, I think that’s our, our gonna be our place.

[00:58:46] Lindsey Konchar: And I was like, ’cause that was my choice. And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, you’re good with it. Yes, you’re sir. I’m so happy to hear it. Um, and I was pumped because I have this like, whole idea, like, we’re sitting in the plaza, we’re at a little bistro table. My two young kids are running around near the fountain.

[00:59:04] Lindsey Konchar: They’re playing, I’m drinking my pour wine. Like, we’re just like in it and I have it and it’s there and it’s, and it’s happening. And so he tells me that and I’m like, cool. I wake up the next day, I’m doing my Black Friday stuff, and I’m still getting Christmas presents, but I, I’m seeing all this stuff that normally I would be like, oh, I really, I’m gonna get this thing right.

[00:59:25] Lindsey Konchar: And I would, you know, find a $40 sweater and be like, oh, that’s cute. Pop into my cart. And like 30 seconds later I’d be like, would I rather have $40 to Portugal or would I rather have $40 on a sweater that I don’t really need because I have 13 other sweaters that I could. Pick from outta my closet. And that day it, it was a little sad because I was like actually buying myself nothing.

[00:59:46] Lindsey Konchar: But it was, it was actually so happy because I was like, all of that money. And I literally would transfer like, okay, well I didn’t spend $40, so like that’s going to my Portugal bucket. Same. And right then and there I would transfer it and I would be like, well, this is way more fun. Now again, we’re talking about that baseline level of happiness.

[01:00:03] Lindsey Konchar: Do you know what brings up my baseline level of happiness? Is that connection with my family? Yeah. Is traveling, is exploring new cultures and new places and, and doing these things. And not a sweater. A sweater is not going to make me happy in, in the long run. Right. Sometimes it is, there’s some pieces of clothes that I’m like, I love you and I would buy 1200 of you because I just love you so much.

[01:00:26] Katy Ripp: Yeah. 

[01:00:26] Lindsey Konchar: But most of the time it is experiences. I don’t want the stuff I don’t need. It cluttering my life and my head and, and my money confusion and everything else. And so when we have those clear. Specific visuals of the goals that we see for ourselves, the lives that we wanna live. That is when that intentional spending becomes so much easier.

[01:00:49] Katy Ripp: Yeah. And the, the alignment of it, right? Like I am completely aligned with traveling and obviously experience is one of your values, probably connection with your family, right? Like the, all of those things that trip to Portugal clearly checks lots of value boxes for you. It doesn’t mean that you don’t have a value of like, cute sweater things, right?

[01:01:13] Katy Ripp: Like, it doesn’t mean that you don’t have a, like, pleasure and comfort is one of my values. And so like, I love cozy sweaters, right? Like that’s also, but then you, at least you have something to make the decision against when you’re just mindlessly buying or mindlessly eating or mindlessly shopping or mindlessly doing, uh, you know, any one of those things.

[01:01:33] Katy Ripp: I think that’s where buyers’ remorse comes in, is like. This is not aligned. Like what is it aligned with? And some of the clients that I started working with is like, same. We do a calendar and a spending audit, right? Like, show me your checkbook, which you know, that ages me, but show me your accounts. Show me your calendar and let’s match it up with your, like match this spending.

[01:01:56] Katy Ripp: Match this purchase up with one of your values. And if you can’t match it, did you need it? And if you can match it, cool. And it might be that like, yes, I love this so much so, and it doesn’t match one of my values. Okay, well then let’s revisit your values because then we’re like possibly not aligned with the actual value.

[01:02:21] Katy Ripp: So that kind of work is just so important and I. Love it so much. 

[01:02:26] Lindsey Konchar: I like to think of it as dials too, right? Yeah. ’cause like sometimes we wanna turn the dial up on this thing where I’m like, I’m, you know, missing my girlfriends. I just feel like I haven’t connected with them in so long. I need to turn up the dial on that and be like, guys, we need to get some like dates on the calendar.

[01:02:39] Lindsey Konchar: I’m missing you. Right? And then once my cup is full there, I can turn the dial back down on that and I can turn up the dial on my convenience where I’m like, oh, we need this, this, and this, and I just want to order it to my door. And that’s gonna be more simple, right? And we can turn the dial back down on that.

[01:02:52] Lindsey Konchar: Or people get stuck in this like, you know, you can’t, like we talked about the lattes, or you can’t have like the designer things or whatever. And I’m like, no. On my list, since I was 15, I wanted a pair of Christian Louboutin shoes. I always, always, always wanted ’em. Now I went, last year I bought ’em and I am so happy and I wear them and I love them.

[01:03:11] Lindsey Konchar: And now my dial gets to be turned back down until like the next thing that I really want that’s expensive. And somebody would be like, I would never spend. $1,500 on a pair of shoes. Okay, fine. Don’t, but like, my spending and my values are gonna be different than what yours are. Right. And so we don’t, we can, we can play with that a little bit on like the things that we care about.

[01:03:31] Lindsey Konchar: And I really, I run into people passing shame and judgment onto like, like my shoes for example. Like one of my girlfriends was like $1,500 on a pair of shoes. Like, that’s crazy. I can’t believe you would ever spend money. And I was like, oh, $20,000 on a snowmobile. I would never spend it on that. But that’s what you got last year.

[01:03:49] Lindsey Konchar: Why is that better than what I spend? Yeah. It doesn’t matter what I do and what you do, it matters what, what we care about. And those are the two things that we chose and bring us both joy. So like, what is the right? And she was like, oh yeah. Like that’s, it changes everything when you start realizing that.

[01:04:05] Lindsey Konchar: Just because this one person is like my, the woman that I was talking about earlier, that the family that I lived with, I’m still very, very close with them. She does not like traveling. She’s like, I love my home. Yeah. I wanna sit here forever and ever and ever. I traveled when I was in my twenties and it was great, and now I’m good.

[01:04:20] Lindsey Konchar: Right? And so she doesn’t, it’s not one of her dials and she doesn’t care. Great. Let that be true for you. It doesn’t. Right. So, but I think getting and labeling that, again, it goes back to all that intentionality and everything we’ve been talking about, this whole episode, just making sure that you know what you want for you.

[01:04:36] Lindsey Konchar: Yes. 

[01:04:37] Katy Ripp: And live unapologetically. Like once you are aligned, once you are there and you’re like, okay, I feel really good about this. I’m pretty fucking aligned here with my values. I’m pretty confident in what my values are. You don’t have to explain it to anybody. Nope. You have no reason to apologize for what you value if you value a pair of fucking $15,000 shoes.

[01:04:58] Katy Ripp: I. I don’t care. This has nothing to do with me. Now if you come to me and you are complaining that you can’t afford something, then we might have a discussion about that particular piece of property you own, like my lake house. Like in the end, I could not afford it. So I was showing people that like it.

[01:05:18] Katy Ripp: This was sort of a lie and, and to me, I feel very confident in my vulnerability. So when I was sharing things like it was bringing me really great joy and it, I was healing, but I always had this underlying like, I can’t really afford this. I like we’re in a really different position than what’s coming off.

[01:05:38] Katy Ripp: And that felt really inauthentic to me. So I ended up having to like come clean. Now did I come clean to everybody around me? Maybe, or I’m coming clean right now, but I had to come clean to myself, which was that kind of quote unquote self-care. By sitting on the dock and, and sitting in nature and really loving every single moment of that was also not taking care of my financial situation, which is to me now the ultimate self-care.

[01:06:13] Lindsey Konchar: A hundred percent 

[01:06:14] Katy Ripp: peeking into that little box of shame. Now, see, you might be listening to this and you’re like, who the fuck has this much shame around money? Right? Like, this may not resonate with you at all, and that’s totally cool. I love that for you. You don’t need us. You can like just skip on by.

[01:06:31] Katy Ripp: But if any of this resonates. There are people to help, right? Like there are financial therapists apparently, which I didn’t even know existed. I don’t consider myself necessarily a financial coach, but I am a values-based coach, which can help with finances and lots of other things. Lindsay, again, I think like I could have you on once a quarter and we could go into like a different subject here really, and I would love to do that for time’s sake.

[01:06:59] Katy Ripp: If somebody wanted to like open the door with you, Lindsay’s got an intentional spending planner, like we will leave the link for that in the notes for sure. How can people work with you? Are you taking one-on-one clients? Do you have group coaching programs? What does that look like for everybody? 

[01:07:14] Lindsey Konchar: Yeah.

[01:07:14] Lindsey Konchar: No, so I only do one-on-one. Okay. Which is why I think it’s kind of unique because there is so many like courses or this or that or whatever. Yeah. But a lot of people who aren’t deep in that shame really need that. Need that handholding and need, you know, a little bit more one-on-one work. And I love it here.

[01:07:30] Lindsey Konchar: And so yes, I am taking clients, both individuals and couples. I have space for right now actually because we’ve retired, my husband, I have more time to see clients, which is an amazing, I love it. It’s so, it’s so great for us. And so yeah, I am financial therapist Lindsay on Instagram. Easiest place to find me.

[01:07:46] Lindsey Konchar: That’s like the only social media that I really use. And you can come message me there. I have a website, financial self-care blog.com, and my whole financial therapy page is right there. And my podcast is Financial Self-Care with financial therapist, Lindsay. So I’m pretty easy to find. And I just had an episode come out.

[01:08:06] Lindsey Konchar: This is actually probably helpful for maybe some people, if you’re familiar with the Enneagram. Yeah. It’s a whole deep dive on each Enneagram number and how they show up with their money as well. 

[01:08:16] Katy Ripp: Oh, fascinating. And that could 

[01:08:18] Lindsey Konchar: be a really helpful. Spot to be like, oh, okay, this makes sense for me, and whatever.

[01:08:23] Lindsey Konchar: So that’s a whole nother thing that we don’t need to get into. But that episode has been doing very well and a lot of people, I’ve gotten really, really good feedback on it just because again, all of this comes back to self-exploration, self-awareness, intentionality, and that provides a lot of guidance for people.

[01:08:38] Lindsey Konchar: So there you go. 

[01:08:40] Katy Ripp: And you’re not wrong, right? Like I just think like we get into this vicious cycle of this is my fault. I’m wrong, I don’t know what I’m doing. I have to be the only one in this position, which is part of the reason I share my story, right? Because there are perceptions of people out there that sometimes we do on purpose, right?

[01:09:03] Katy Ripp: Like there was a very interesting, not interesting, there was a very specific perception of us having a lake house that I was definitely like down the road on that and. To back, like to backtrack a little bit and be like, God, that was really inauthentic of me. I think also hopefully opens the door for people to be like, oh God, I’m doing some of that too.

[01:09:32] Katy Ripp: I don’t wanna be doing it anymore. How can I get help? And there is help out there for you. And Lindsay is a perfect example of that. And a lot of the things that you probably share on Instagram. Well, I, the things that I’ve seen on Instagram, there’s also free content out there, right? Like you can also get, you don’t have to hire anybody one-on-one.

[01:09:52] Katy Ripp: You don’t have to buy a course. One of the things that really always is, is tough, especially when you’re a financial therapist. When you’re a financial coach, when you are selling a financial anything, people are like, well, I can’t fucking afford. My groceries, how can I afford to buy this course? There’s hangups about that too, but like there are investments in yourself that then help you on the other end.

[01:10:19] Katy Ripp: It’s just hard to make that investment upfront and really being very honest about is it this you can’t afford or do you have to sacrifice something else in order to do this? So, 

[01:10:29] Lindsey Konchar: totally, totally. And honestly, when I run the calculations with my clients of like, I charge 150 an hour, I’m not that expensive.

[01:10:37] Lindsey Konchar: Yeah. Like I’m really not. And I do that deliberately, right? Yeah. But I charge 150 an hour. But then when we look at like, okay, but once we get you investing and then you see like the growth that you’re gonna have, it’s like, like my services are actually kind of a no brainer when it comes to like the return on investment stuff.

[01:10:53] Lindsey Konchar: Yeah. And to your point, it’s like, yeah, you can get a massage, a monthly massage, or you can get a whatever, but you need to know how you’re bang for that stuff. Right. And so that’s why I always say taking care of yourself by taking care of your money. Because once you know how you’re paying for the other stuff in your life, it all becomes so much clearer.

[01:11:10] Lindsey Konchar: And again, my job is, I’m a solution-focused brief therapist. I don’t wanna be working with you for years and years and years and years and years and years and years. I wanna get in, I wanna get it figured out. I wanna send you off with a plan. And I want you to know that my door is always open as life adjustments happen.

[01:11:25] Lindsey Konchar: Because money is one of the only things that, well, it is the only thing that keeps on going after your death, right? It is a journey. This is never gonna be like, okay, I’ve arrived at my destination. This is like, you keep, your 

[01:11:38] Katy Ripp: destination is death, by the way, is 

[01:11:40] Lindsey Konchar: death is the ground. So, uh, and, and your money then lives on.

[01:11:44] Lindsey Konchar: If you don’t have an estate plan, go get one. ’cause otherwise your kids are gonna be dealing with probate. But yeah, so it’s just, it’s all, like I said, yeah, you and I could easily talk for years on all of these conversations, but I 

[01:11:56] Katy Ripp: love it. 

[01:11:56] Lindsey Konchar: We’ll wrap it up. 

[01:11:57] Katy Ripp: We’ll table it for just a minute. Thank you so much for being on.

[01:12:00] Katy Ripp: I really, again, I could go down lots of rabbit holes here and I think we will in the future. So go over and listen to Lindsay’s podcast. We will leave all of your links in the show notes, including the planner, and we will definitely be talking to you again. Thank you so much for having me. Thanks. Well, that is a wrap on today’s episode, but the conversation doesn’t have to end here.

[01:12:23] Katy Ripp: If this episode resonated with you at all, come hang out with us inside. Actually, we can. This is my private community for midlife women entrepreneurs who are just done with the hustle and ready to build businesses that actually work for them. Inside, you’ll find support and strategy and a whole lot of real talk from women who get it.

[01:12:40] Katy Ripp: You can join us at katie rip.com/community. We can also stay connected on socials. You can follow me on Instagram at Katie rip for behind the scenes extra insights and plenty of business wisdom. But most importantly, make sure you follow the podcast so you never miss an episode. If you love today’s topic, please leave me a review and share it with another badass woman who needs to hear this.

[01:13:02] Katy Ripp: As always, thank you for being here. Now go do your thing and I’ll see you next time.