[00:00:00] Welcome back to Hashtag. Actually, I can. I am your host, Katy Ripp, and we are. If you’re new here, this is a place where we are burning down the old business rules that were really never meant for us women in the first place. And we’re writing new ones that actually fit the lives we’re building now. So we’ve already talked about the grind or die rule, the place, small rule.

[00:00:26] The don’t talk about money rule and the keep it impersonal rule. If you’ve missed any of those, you can go back to this season and start from the beginning. But no need to, if this is the one for you, each one pulled on a thread on the same old story. That success is something we have to chase alone, and today we’re unraveling another big one.

[00:00:48] And actually, this is my favorite one to unravel. This is actually my favorite one to completely debunk. This is the competition rule, and you know it; there’s not enough to go around someone else’s meet if someone else wins. If someone else’s someone else wins, that means you lose. We protect our turf, our clients, and our ideas at all costs.

[00:01:17] We’re gonna be the first, be the loudest, be the best, or you get left behind. Now these rules tell women that business is a battlefield, but here’s the truth. It was this rule was wi this rule was written to keep us divided. Because when women compete, we stay small, but when we collaborate, we build empires.

[00:01:41] So let’s talk about what happens when you stop seeing other women as threats and start seeing them as the reason your business gets stronger.

[00:01:49] So I have to tell you, I never really bought into the competition rule. Actually, maybe it’s the small town of Wisconsin and me, or maybe it’s just how I’m wired, but I’ve always kind of believed that there’s enough to go around. I don’t see business like a pie with only eight slices. I see it like a bakery where we can always make more pie.

[00:02:08] Do I still feel comparison creep in sometimes? Absolutely. I am human after all. I’ll scroll and see someone else totally crushing it and think damn good for her, but it’s never really panic. It’s a possibility. Her success expands the proof of what’s possible for all of us. And honestly, that abundance mindset confuses people.

[00:02:30] Sometimes. They’ll ask, Why would you help the competition? And my answer is always the same because it’s the right thing to do, and it always works. When we opened the wine bar, I made a decision that we were gonna do it differently. We weren’t gonna pretend that other bars didn’t exist or roll our eyes when they were busy and we weren’t.

[00:02:48] We partnered with the bar next door all the time. We had games together, and we always bought their food, and we always gave people menus to all the bars in town and all the restaurants so they could have choices. We shared musicians and we shared customers. We hosted community nights together. When one of us ran out of something, we borrowed and we returned.

[00:03:10] It happened all the time, and I’ll never forget a night before a huge event, when the bar next door realized that we were out of. And I will never forget the night before a huge event, when the bar next door realized that they were out of champagne for their drag queen bingo, without even thinking, I walked over with extra from our stock.

[00:03:31] It’s not like they were totally shocked, but also they were like, oh geez, we’re open and we have this event and you guys don’t, and wow, thank you so much. And I said, yeah, of course, because that’s what community does. And when we bought the coffee house later, that same mindset came with me. If another cafe ran out of syrup or beans, I would always drop some off, no invoice, no strings, or when the local PTO or our local PTO organizes a back-to-school event and hires another coffee truck for the morning, and I don’t get salty, I donate gift cards for their raffle and I.

[00:04:09] I donate gift cards for their raffle, and I continue to donate to their PTO because I believe in my soul that generosity travels way further than hoarding ever will. And you know what happens when you give like that? People remember, not just customers, but staff, vendors, and even competitors. They remember how you made them feel.

[00:04:30] They tell other people. That’s the kind of marketing you cannot buy every month. Everybody remembers their first job or their first favorite local spot, their first boss who treated them like a person. I take that super seriously. These people spend their time and their energy and their money inside my dream, and I wanna make them feel proud of that.

[00:04:53] Has my openness ever cost me something? Maybe I could have been more strategic at times? Sure. But I wouldn’t trade a single relationship over an extra sale any single day. Because the truth is, the businesses and friendships that have sustained me the most weren’t built on competition. They were absolutely built on connection and collaboration.

[00:05:16] The women I collaborate with, the owners down the street, the regulars who support us all, that’s the heartbeat of every single thing I do, and that’s the real story. I don’t believe in competing for crumbs when we can bake the whole goddamn cake together.

[00:05:31] And even though I don’t live by it, I can see how deeply the com, I can see how deeply the competition rule is ingrained in so many women I work with. It sneaks in quietly, maybe comparing your behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel, who can raise their hand to that, or hesitating to share an idea because you’re scared it will be copied.

[00:05:54] And very likely it probably will be, or downplaying your wins so you don’t make others feel uncomfortable or less than. That’s not your responsibility, holding back from collaborations because you think you need to own your audience. Underneath all of that is the same myth that there’s not enough to go around, and when you live in that story, your creativity starts to shrink.

[00:06:19] Collaboration stops feeling safe, and you end up exhausted and isolated and wondering why it feels so hard.

[00:06:27] Scarcity is the oldest control tactic in the book. If we’re too busy competing, we’ll never collaborate, and if we never collaborate, we’ll never build power together. Generosity is the antidote to that. When I drop off syrup for another coffee house or cheer for a woman launching her first course, I’m not losing anything.

[00:06:46] I’m planting seeds, and those seeds are trust and reciprocity, and community that grow bigger than any single business. When women share resources, space, staff, ideas, and audiences, the ripple effect of. The ripple effect of that is massive. We don’t dilute our success; we multiply it. And that’s not kumbaya talk.

[00:07:10] That is a solid strategy. So here’s how the new rule looks. So here’s the new rule. Build a better sisterhood. We don’t hoard, we don’t hide, and we don’t hustle alone. We link arms and share ideas and create things together that would never exist in isolation.

[00:07:35] Building a better sisterhood means celebrating women, doing what you wanna do. Be

[00:07:41] Building a better sisterhood means celebrating women. Building a better sisterhood means celebrating women doing what they want to do because their success shines a light on what’s possible. It means amplifying instead of envying and collaborating instead of competing. And because you know, I love a good idea, and because you know, I love a good tangible idea.

[00:08:03] Let’s talk about what can. Let’s talk about what that can actually look like. Collaborations that go beyond. Let’s tag each other on Instagram, which I do love, and I do share stories a lot and tag people, and I love to have other people follow them. But this goes a little bit beyond that, and these are real-life examples, people, ideas that I would give to clients of mine.

[00:08:27] So here are a few that I’ve seen work beautifully. Number one, maybe you’re a photographer. Team up with a stylist or a makeup artist and a copywriter for a brand mini marathon. Each participant gets updated headshots, copy tweaks, and styling tips in one day. Everybody promotes together. Everyone grows. Now, this is actually.

[00:08:51] one of my own events. It’s called Co-Create and Connect. It’s about to go off on October 17th. If you’re listening to this and you’re in the Madison area, please come on over. But this is exactly what we’re doing. We have a photographer, we have a makeup artist, and we have a hairstylist. We have myself who’s coming in and doing a little bit of coaching and a keynote speak and a keynote, and we have.

[00:09:16] And we have a social media strategist who is gonna help everybody with a reel or two. Here’s another one, possibly for florists and bakers, create a bloom and bake pop-up bouquets and pastries, bouquets and past bouquets and pastries or baked goods sold side by side, maybe around a holiday or bundle gift boxes that mix blooms, sweets, and a self-care item.

[00:09:41] It’s Instagram gold and community building all at once. You get to share each other’s customers. How about for therapists? And coaches? Host a Wellness Circle series. Each week features a different topic, maybe around boundaries or breath work or money mindset, or relationships. Bundle your expertise so clients experience whole-person healing instead of a one-off session.

[00:10:04] For retail owners, plan an after-hour sip and shop crawl. Every shop has its own theme, live music, or snacks. One TR one ticket grants access to all locations and cross-pollinates customer collaboration disguised as a party. Hello? How about for digital or professional service providers? Do a co-marketing swap.

[00:10:28] Feature each other in newsletters, swap guest blogs, or co-create a mini bundle, like a designer, a copywriter, and a strategist offering a one-week brand sprint. Shared audience. Shared wins. For spa or wellness professionals, host a self-care open house with neighboring businesses, coffee tastings or mocktails, or massage demos, skincare tips, maybe even a journaling or flower-arranging class.

[00:10:56] It turns your industry into an experience. And honestly, those are just the starting points. The best collaborations are the ones you dream up over coffee with someone who shares your values. And the real magic happens when you ask, how can we both win instead of who gets there first? Because here’s the truth, there is room for all of us.

[00:11:20] The more women who rise, the easier it becomes for the next woman to climb. Here’s your challenge for this week. Reach out to one woman in your orbit and start a conversation about a collaboration. It doesn’t have to be perfect or polished. Just start. Maybe it’s co-hosting a live or swapping newsletters, or creating a bundle, or simply sharing each other in their stories.

[00:11:45] The point is to connect. Because you, because when we move from competition to collaboration, you’ll notice something will shift. Your energy gets lighter, your creativity comes back, and suddenly, business feels fun again.

[00:12:01] The competition rule. The competition rule has told women for generations that we’re rivals; the new rule, build a better sisterhood. If this episode resonated, go check out the full blog post. It’s linked in the show notes. And if you know a woman who’s stuck in comparison or scarcity, send this episode her way.

[00:12:21] And don’t forget, you can join my email list to get every rule delivered straight to your inbox. Plus, the scenes update as this series becomes a book. Thanks for being here today, and I’ll see you next week when we tackle the next old rule. Follow the blueprint and understand why there’s no one-size-fits-all in business.