Day 45: Only up from here.

It’s hard to explain what it feels like when you’re halfway to a goal. Especially when you rarely set, and then therefore never reach, one. But here I am killin’ it at halfway there.

The title of this is a little deceiving implying that I am at a low and there’s only one way…up. But it couldn’t be farther from the truth. I am on the highest of highs and it IS only up from here.

I’m not sure I have actually written the words but I’ve said them to a few people: I feel so good I’m not sure I will ever drink again.

I know. I know. This is shocking and there are probably people out there right now saying that the novelty hasn’t worn off yet, or that this is some kind of “honeymoon” phase or whatever. And that’s ok.

I don’t really give a shit. (Sorry, not sorry.)

It’s not that I don’t care what people think, but this is how I feel today and I refuse to look ahead and believe that things are going to be bad. All signs are pointing up.

And not just for me.

I just heard that dear friends of ours got amazing news. I talked to another friend that is following her dream and of course, killin’ it. And Maddie hopped along the balance beam like she owned that bitch today.

Will there be a bad day soon? I’m sure of it. But why should I sit around waiting for it? Why can’t it be all sunshine, rainbows and flowers?

I’ll be honest I was skeptical of this little soujourn at first but it has far exceeded my expectations. Remember Day 19 when I listed out all my whys? Well, only halfway through, I can ✅ almost all of them off my list.

Pretty cool.

And this was all possible because I DECIDED to put myself at the top of my own list every single day for the last 45 days.

As I lay here with my own little Galentine while my Valentinos “farm” on the Xbox together, I am pretty grateful for it all.

Cheers to the next 45 days.

The holidays are magical, but they can also be a lot—family stress, packed schedules, and endless pressure to “just have one.” If you’re sober curious, this season might feel tricky, but it doesn’t have to.

empty ice cream shop

There is always harder. Another hour, another dollar, another attempt. So how do you know when you’ve actually tried hard enough? Maybe the answer isn’t exhausting every option. Maybe it’s deciding what you’re still willing to spend for what you’re getting in return.

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Every Monday morning, I send one honest letter about midlife, reinvention, Storybook Hill, sobriety, slow living, and the messy process of becoming more yourself.
No productivity hacks. No manufactured urgency. No pretending certainty comes first.
Just a thoughtful place to land before the week gets loud.

Join 600+ women who begin their week here.

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