Day 53: Not all peaches ’n cream

As much as I would love to say everything is peachy keen jelly bean because I have quit drinking, it’s not.

I have been forced to figure out a way to cope with shit that I would normally use cocktails to deal with. Of course I didn’t actually cope with it, I just put a band aid over an oozing wound which was there again the next morning, only worse.

I won’t go in to great detail, but a few things got under my skin today. Nothing that was anyone’s fault, just a little too much sun, some old emotional crap and no unhealthy way to deal with it. I was bound to run in to this and I’m glad I had an overdose of vitamin D to help me through.

On a brighter note, the sun is still shining, it was 85 today and the sunset was absolutely breathtaking. Like I have said, it’s hard to put in to words how different I feel, but also how different this trip has been for not only me but everyone else too.

Sometimes we get in our head that decisions we make only affect what’s in our own little bubble; I am no exception. I can definitely get caught up in my own head and it can ruin a day, even a sunny one, real quick.

But, I got through it; just had to take a few deep breaths, DECIDE that it wasn’t worth my energy and stay in the present moment. I know it’s a little woo woo, but this shit works.

The great news is that we all have a chance to start over with every breath we take.

I didn’t quit drinking because it was easy. I quit because staying miserable was harder—and I wanted more than anxiety, regret, and 3AM shame spirals.

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