Melissa Fino 00:00:00  I am a high school dropout, and then in my early 30s, my father passed away until that point in time. I felt like my father was the only person who believed in me. I was going to have to take his belief and make it my own. My afterlife became I am completely changing everything. So many females have this boss ass story that gets them here, but then they wrap themselves in the now I’m an imposter in the business area and stuck and looking what everyone else is doing. God, I mean, like I’m the high school dropout that ended up graduating from USA. I used to smoke two packs of cigarettes a day. I went to running marathons. I’ve done so many different things that are the complete opposite of what I ever thought I could do.

Katy Ripp 00:00:49  Hey there, fellow rebels. Welcome to #ActuallyICan. The podcast where we say a hearty hell yes to designing life on our own terms. I’m Katy Ripp, a lifestyle coach, business mentor and serial entrepreneur. Here to guide you through the wild ride.

Katy Ripp 00:01:04  Defying what society expects of us and embracing our authenticity. On this show, we dive deep into taboo topics like death, money, spirituality, entrepreneurship, unapologetic self-care, and personal development, all while swearing and laughing along the way. Expect down and dirty conversations, plenty of humor, and a whole lot of exploration, leaving you feeling empowered to be your truest self. Whether you’re craving a good laugh, seeking unconventional self-care tips, or simply looking for some camaraderie, you’ve come to the right place. We only get this one short life, so buckle up and let’s design yours on our own terms. Ready to dive in? Let’s go. Thank you so much for being on the podcast. Welcome to #ActuallyICan. Melissa I would just love to like have you start with your story. You’ve got kind of an amazing story and an amazing actually I can moment. So I would love to hear how you got to where you are. But that always starts with where we’ve been.

Melissa Fino 00:02:09  Yes. First of all, thank you for having me.

Melissa Fino 00:02:10  I’m excited to have this whole entire conversation because we’re kind of both no holds barred and willing to share everything. I am a high school dropout. I dropped out at the age of 16. I mean.

Katy Ripp 00:02:23  I love that because I almost didn’t graduate. So like to hear other people say that out loud. Like I still have nightmares. I almost did not graduate. I had to take a correspondence class to even walk. So. Oh yeah.

Melissa Fino 00:02:36  I missed. I think it was like 66 days of my junior year in high school. I was like from skipping school. Oh my God.

Katy Ripp 00:02:44  Oh yes. My mother got a truancy ticket. We are the same.

Melissa Fino 00:02:48  I was such a naughty, naughty girl. So my high school counselor called in my mom for an appointment and said, you need to take your daughter out of school. You need to just pull her out immediately. She’s smart as fuck, but she’s not arriving here. So I dropped out of high school at the age of 16, went to the community college during my senior year of high school.

Melissa Fino 00:03:14  Dropped out there. So I wasn’t ready to be in, like, the regimented school system at that point in time. And I had really struggled with being wild. But also, both of my parents are 100% Portuguese. And I felt like I had to kind of adhere to the specific standard that they had for me. This is what I felt at that point in time. Now I can see that it was self-imposed. So because of that, I always struggled with fitting in. And what I realized later is that it wasn’t struggling with fitting in. It was I was meant to lead. Right? But that time, I just tried to fit in, trying to fit in, and it ended up being me dropping out of high school, me dropping out of community college, me getting a couple of comfortable jobs, very comfortable jobs, talking about like a decade here. And then in my early 30s, my father passed away. And so, God, I was 34 and he was living in Portugal at the time.

Melissa Fino 00:04:18  Both of my parents had retired and gone back to Portugal, and he had a brain aneurysm. And it just like went right away. And so that was one of the hardest things for me personally, because until that point in time, I felt like my father was the only person who believed in me. And what I realized was that I was going to have to take his belief and make it my own. I always say his last breath in life was my first breath back in life.

Katy Ripp 00:04:46  Oh my gosh, I love that. I love to hear that. I also love to hear that people talk about it. I lost my father in law when I was 38 and it was before he died and after he died. There’s a very clear line. Of my life before and my life after.

Melissa Fino 00:05:00  Completely so after my father passed away, my after life became I am completely changing everything. So I went back to community college, graduated with honors, got my four year degree in Connecticut, graduated Phi Alpha, got accepted into the University of Southern California, went to San Diego from Connecticut, which is where I was living, and ended up graduating with my master’s from the University of Southern California.

Melissa Fino 00:05:30  Being a dropout 17 years after. Yeah, I was.

Katy Ripp 00:05:35  Gonna say at 34, you started that never too.

Melissa Fino 00:05:38  Late. Oh my God. Yeah. I mean, I’m 46 now, and this is it was my second half in life, right? Like so that happened. University of Southern California happened. I was in San Diego during my last semester of graduate school. I took a coaching in consultation course, and that kind of opened up the trajectory and shifted everything. I was going to become a therapist. Instead, I opened up my coaching business, and immediately in 2016, I started writing my book called Little Miss Perfect. And it was just like a compilation of blogs and stories at that point. And I couldn’t get my shit together to, like, actually turn it into a book. You know? And then Covid happened, and then I picked it up off the shelf and was like, we’re doing this. We’re putting it all back together. And it was four years later and I had grown so much because really, like your coaching business, you’re opening up your own business, pushes you into levels that you will like, opens you up in so many different ways.

Melissa Fino 00:06:44  So the book changed, and I was able to tap into secrets within my life that I had yet to share with other people. So I was a high school dropout. I had gone through this whole entire experience. But I had also kind of like, blacked out and suffocated like my 20s. Yeah, that whole decade where I really didn’t feel good enough and I was attracting. I was a mirror for everything. And so I was in a relationship that was very abusive. And I’m a domestic violence survivor. I’m an attempted murder survivor. And I end up sharing all of this within my book for the first time ever in my whole entire life. On a scale of 1 to 10, I had shared probably like up to six. But I didn’t share the 6 to 10. And I shared it all within my book. And I wrote my book, and I gave it to my mom, and I gave it to my aunts. And I was like, just call me when you’re done. Oh, yeah.

Melissa Fino 00:07:45  Oh my God. I do not like I hadn’t shared all of those pieces of me. And if I had wrote the book when I first graduated from school, it wouldn’t have been that book, because I wasn’t ready to share all of that.

Katy Ripp 00:07:58  Yeah. Timing is everything, right?

Melissa Fino 00:08:00  Yeah. So I was able to write that, and that ended up becoming such a big piece of my story and has helped so many other people beyond myself and my family and others as well.

Katy Ripp 00:08:17  I am so curious. Well, one, thank God you’re still here. Yeah, right. But the 6 to 10 I love that 6 to 10 because I’m a firm believer now, not necessarily in my 20s and 30s, but that the obstacle is our way. Right. Like when we share to the nth degree of the shit that like, really has the shame around it, has the guilt around it. Has the I’m the only one in this position when we share that we get to open up somebody else’s life. And I don’t know that you ever know the impact of that until you do something like that, right? Until you have a platform like a book or a podcast or just some place for you to share about yourself so that you can give somebody else a safety to do that.

Katy Ripp 00:09:13  Was that a motivating factor for you, or is that something that you saw, like on the other end after you did it?

Melissa Fino 00:09:20  When my father passed away, that really was the trigger, like the catalyst for me that made me realize like, Holy crap, you’re such an asshole. Like you’re such an asshole. Like, you really are. You have so much power and so much gifts within you that you can help other people, and you’re just standing in your own way. And so going through school, going through like, I got my master’s in social work, and they put you through the rigor mortis of like, I’ve worked with the impoverished. I’ve worked with trauma survivors, homeless adolescent children who were just like me. I shared a story with you about that guidance counselor. I share this in my book. I ended up being in the room with that guidance counselor and a student that I was advocating on behalf of, who was just like me and five other, like, people in the town and and teachers.

Melissa Fino 00:10:13  And he pulled me out after that and was like, I told you, I knew that you had so much within you.

Katy Ripp 00:10:19  I mean.

Melissa Fino 00:10:20  Yeah.

Katy Ripp 00:10:21  That kind of stuff just comes so far full circle. One of the things you said, I always call it like sitting in your own dirty diaper. We are capable fucking women. Now we can take off our own dirty diaper, right? Like we’ve got shit from our past. And I understand that. But at one point or another, we have to take responsibility. It sounds like your dad’s death, like, really pushed you in that way. Did you know it at the time? Like, was there a light bulb? Like, Holy shit, I need to do this. Like, right this second. Like, can you put your finger on it? Or was it a culmination of going back to school and it.

Melissa Fino 00:10:56  Was maybe like six months of anger? Okay. And then it was just like once like, okay, this is it.

Melissa Fino 00:11:02  You’re done. Like, this is done. Like, my dad held me on such a pedestal and I had never really felt that much love, you know? So I was really, really angry. And then eventually I got to the point of, like, you got to give it to yourself. Yeah, that’s a.

Katy Ripp 00:11:19  Hard lesson from yourself. What do you think gave it to you? Oof.

Melissa Fino 00:11:25  I don’t know. I didn’t think it was just years of not having it for so long. And then finally it was like, okay, you got to start. So it was one foot in front of the other, going back to school, learning through different courses that I wasn’t taking care of myself. I God, I mean, like, I’m the high school dropout that ended up graduating from USA. I used to smoke two packs of cigarettes a day. I went to running marathons. I’ve done so many different things that are the complete opposite of what I ever thought I could do. You know, like, I’m the I’m the attempted murder survivor who was never good enough, who wrote a bestselling book and now has a business and works with clients all over the world.

Melissa Fino 00:12:09  Like.

Katy Ripp 00:12:11  And people look at that and they’re like, okay. High school dropout to coach, author, you know, survivor, all of these things except that there were years one foot in front of the other. These are not just like, hey, we just turned the page and all of a sudden we have all these things. What gave you the momentum or the literally the one foot in front of the other. At some point, you had to have picked up a phone and called the community college and said, how can I start?

Melissa Fino 00:12:42  I don’t even really remember to be honest with you. And so it’s crazy because I was a failure. I was like, you know, like there’s no such thing as a failure. But if you put quotes around it, that’s what I was. That’s what completely I had failed everything I had ever done. It was my decision that I wasn’t going to be that failure anymore. Going back and actually walking into the community college and my lower 30s at that point in time was like when it started again.

Melissa Fino 00:13:09  And it just it just happened, right? Like it just happened. My level of commitment had finally changed and my like, give a fuck meter had like completely gone, like, you know, like it was no longer like, I don’t care what somebody thinks of me. Like I know I have it in me now. When somebody looks at me and they’re like, I don’t know if you can do that. I’m like, who the fuck do you think you are? You don’t know if I can do it, I know I can do it. Like there’s nothing I can.

Katy Ripp 00:13:34  Do and watch me.

Melissa Fino 00:13:36  Yeah, I totally I.

Katy Ripp 00:13:38  Used to be like, hey, fucking watch me, right? Like, of course I can do this. Like #ActuallyICan. It used to come from a real place of like, fuck you. Now it comes from a place of like, I’m just so curious to see if I can do that, because I probably can.

Melissa Fino 00:13:55  You can?

Katy Ripp 00:13:55  Yeah.

Katy Ripp 00:13:56  And there’s lots of things I can do. Lots of things that I shouldn’t do. So right now you are specializing in women and specializing in coaching women to, like, get to a new place, right. Really to step into their CEO power. Tell me about that.

Melissa Fino 00:14:13  Yeah. Increasing their visibility. And really so we’re in an interesting time in the coaching world. Yeah. 2020 happened. So many people kind of dip their feet into it. And so many women have overcome something and they have a story similar to mine or, you know, their own that is just as strong and freaking powerful. So they have this resilience in life, but they don’t have resilience in business. And the way that men and women operate in business is completely different. Like if a man fails at something. He going to get up the next day, and he’s going to go back in that office and put the $10,000 down and go right for it. That woman is going to be like, what did I do? Oh my God.

Melissa Fino 00:14:56  No no no no no no.

Katy Ripp 00:14:57  Yeah. We were just talking about this is like females and males are just different in business. And the sooner we recognize that and the sooner we get into a place where we’re actually just doing it differently and we’re not looking to our husbands and we’re not looking to the male banker, and we’re not looking to the people that do not have the life that we want or that we’re never going to have. I’m never going to go to work and not think about my kids. My husband does that every day and not a knock on my husband. It’s just the roles that we have. We’ve created these roles for ourselves and it’s fine. But I’m not going to get advice from him because he doesn’t have the same tasks I do a day. He doesn’t treat his employees the same way I do. We have different lives. We have different goals in our lives. Yeah, so it’s just different. And if you think it’s not, I mean, you’re going to wake up to a real sad state of affairs at some point.

Katy Ripp 00:15:56  You can do it for a while. I think women can run a patriarchal business for a while, but it will burn you out eventually.

Melissa Fino 00:16:04  Yes, it will, and there should be so many more women who are successful right now within their businesses and aren’t, you know, beholden, hunting themselves to the ground, essentially, or beating themselves up for the stupidest freaking things. And so I think that 2020 just kind of ruined virtual online businesses and people getting into business. And the idea that you can just smack something on your Instagram and all of a sudden you’re going to be a goddamn billionaire or a millionaire.

Katy Ripp 00:16:35  Or a coach.

Melissa Fino 00:16:37  Yeah, there’s not going to be an effort behind it. You don’t have to have any expertise or credentials or whatever it is, but also any business acumen or knowledge to know that you actually have to consistently invest in your business to get something in return on the back end. And there’s so many people who I would wish that they were more successful, so many more women who I wish that they would be more successful, but they try 1 or 2 things.

Melissa Fino 00:17:03  I think it’s running a business and then take themselves out for six months or a year.

Katy Ripp 00:17:08  Yeah, and then call it a side hustle. And guess what? The universe is going to give you side hustle money if you continue to call your business a fucking side hustle. Yeah, it’s not a side hustle. It’s a fucking business. Treat it like one. And for some reason, all of these women at one point or another say I can start a business on $0 or a credit card. The fuck you can like you should not be spending your own money. No man I know spends his own money to start a business. They go to the bank, they get $150,000 loan because 75,000 of it is going to be their salary. And instead we have all these women starting online businesses with $0, putting a $588 website on their credit card, and a $20 domain name on their credit card, and making no money, and then getting into $10,000 worth of debt on a 22% interest rate.

Melissa Fino 00:18:03  And then closing their computers at night, eating a whole bunch of things, watching Netflix, crying themselves to sleep.

Katy Ripp 00:18:09  Because they didn’t make a six figure month.

Melissa Fino 00:18:13  Yeah. And so I’m laughing because I wrote something recently about the seven figure days and the eight figure months, which is like, I have so much respect for them. That’s great. But that’s not the business that I want to have. Yeah. And I know that that’s not the business that most people online actually want to have.

Katy Ripp 00:18:29  Well, and what do you need it for like also like our money mindset is real fucked up. We’re like eight figures. What are you doing with eight figures? I mean, if you’re talking about, like, you don’t know if you can afford your kid’s cleats right now and you’re talking about eight figures. That’s just a number. You don’t even know what eight figures could buy you.

Melissa Fino 00:18:52  That is another problem. That’s a completely another problem. The disparity between like, what people are thinking they’re going to make what’s actually happening behind the scenes and then not understanding why there’s a like a disconnect.

Katy Ripp 00:19:08  Yeah. It’s sort of that profit and loss statement.

Katy Ripp 00:19:10  Like at the end of the year I made $42,000, but I have $2,000 in my bank account. Where’s all my fucking profit? Well, we have to know what our cash flow is and we have to know what our numbers are. But unfortunately, we’re both 46 years old. I was raised by a financial planner and didn’t know what a profit and loss statement was. I didn’t know what cash flow was. I had to learn it on my own, and I was too embarrassed to ask anybody Because if I was already in business, shouldn’t I fucking know this?

Melissa Fino 00:19:39  Yeah.

Katy Ripp 00:19:40  And so, like, it ends up being this, like, almost self-fulfilling prophecy of I don’t know what I’m doing, so I’m telling the universe I don’t know what I’m doing. And I continue not to know what I’m doing because I’m too embarrassed to ask anybody because there’s too much judgment out there. This was my idea. I can’t have a bad day. I mean, this, like, constant fucking flow of, like, where do I go for any help?

Melissa Fino 00:20:03  Yeah.

Katy Ripp 00:20:03  So tell me, where do I go for help?

Melissa Fino 00:20:07  I was going to say I was doing panels in my 20s because during my comfortable years, I was working at a restaurant and I was managing a brewery. So I was.

Katy Ripp 00:20:14  I mean, the school of hard knocks taught me a whole hell of a lot.

Melissa Fino 00:20:18  Yeah. So this is essentially where I’ve leaned into and kind of I call it willpower and business resilience, because I think that so many females have this boss ass person, this like this story that gets them here, but then they wrap themselves in the. Now I’m in an imposter in the business area and stuck and looking what everyone else is doing, and they can’t get their head out of their own fucking ass. So yeah. And then they needed.

Katy Ripp 00:20:45  To get yelled at by people like you and me.

Melissa Fino 00:20:48  In some ways, yes. Like somebody who’s going to tell you what really needs to be happening. We all need that. And that’s essentially one of my coaches. She’s like, if you don’t like what I’m going to say, then why are you hiring me? Yeah, it’s a truth.

Katy Ripp 00:21:05  Well, and everybody can call them like, I’m a certified coach. And I went through a 13 month academy to get a coaching certification. Anybody can call themselves a coach. Anybody. If you go online right now and there’s no governing body that governs coaches. So if somebody lost £50, they can go on and call themselves a health and wellness coach. So we need to open up our eyes to that a little bit. But also if you’re looking for coaching. You need to be looking for people that are willing to ask you the questions that are going to make you fucking squirm.

Melissa Fino 00:21:42  You know you’re not hiring your friend.

Katy Ripp 00:21:44  You know you have plenty of friends. You have. You have plenty of friends.

Melissa Fino 00:21:47  People who are going to say nice things to you and lie to you like you don’t need anybody else in your life who’s going to lie to you. Yeah.

Katy Ripp 00:21:53  If you have a problem with money, I’m going to tell you. You have a problem with money?

Melissa Fino 00:21:57  Yes and no. And I’m exactly the same way.

Melissa Fino 00:21:59  And that’s actually complete growth. When I first started my coaching business. I wasn’t going to do that. I was a little scared.

Katy Ripp 00:22:05  Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it’s the beauty of starting a coaching business at 46. To be honest, I’m like, hey, there’s 8 billion people in the world. Yeah. My demographic is women. So I have the option of 4 billion people. I only really need, like, 100. I’m only going to really attract the heart lead ones I want. So tell me about that part of your business and that your that part of your philosophy is like the. Soul lead, the heart lead the really attracting the people that are looking for you are wanting you. Because I do think that that comes from like, I’m going to have to say yes to everybody and everything when I’m first starting out or I’m, you know, whatever that is. Tell me about how you attract those people.

Melissa Fino 00:22:54  There’s been multiple ways that that’s come out. So I’ve had my business for about ten years now, and there was definitely a time period where I said yes to anybody who came to the door, learned my lesson was a very hard lesson.

Melissa Fino 00:23:07  Yeah. And now I have my hardcore boundaries on who I let in. And so I say school my clients specifically because I’ve worked with a lot of amazing coaches and they’ve all taught me so much. And what I started to notice was there’s like a theme. Everybody says dream clients. And I’m like, I try my hardest to not do what everybody else is doing. I don’t want to be like anybody else. So I specifically say soulmate clients because for me, the people that I want to work with, I have high ticket programs. It’s like I only work with a small like a handful of people. I want to work with people who have the same values, the same missions, the same impactful heart, the same people who care about the same things as me. And it’s easier for me to work with a business when I know that there’s so much purpose and heart and like, they’re connected to their heart, like they’re connected to the heart, that means they really know what is most important to them, right? Like those are the people that you want to work with because they energize you throughout your business.

Melissa Fino 00:24:08  They inspire you, they help your messaging. They give you ideas for different offers. They like that that fuels you and leads off of your business and into your life. Right? So for you, it probably makes you like a happy mom because you’re working with your soulmate.

Katy Ripp 00:24:23  Yeah, it makes me love Mondays and I get to learn so much from my clients. Yeah, and I can collaborate with them, and I can hype them up, and I can be a like an authentic cheerleader rather than this lip service of, I guess because you’re my client, I should lift you up and like, share a post of yours. That is not where I stand. I’m like, oh my God, let me help you in any way I possibly can. But I always end up learning something from someone. And I am a lifelong learner. I love to learn from other people because there’s always something. I don’t care if you buy a $10,000 course and you think it falls flat, I guarantee you got one thing out of it.

Katy Ripp 00:25:04  It might have been an expensive one thing, but you got one thing out of it.

Melissa Fino 00:25:08  Yeah, and you may have learned that you don’t want to do something that way. Yes.

Katy Ripp 00:25:12  No matter what, you learn something.

Melissa Fino 00:25:15  So I always say soulmate clients. And I remember I made a post on Facebook and a gentleman that I worked at at a restaurant with like two decades ago commented on it and said, I think you used the wrong word here. Soulmate isn’t the right word for this. Soulmate is, you know, your romantic partner. And I actually was like, no, I used the right word.

Katy Ripp 00:25:38  You’re wrong.

Melissa Fino 00:25:39  Yeah. You’re wrong. That’s exactly what he said. I should have used clients that are worthy of my time or something. And I was like, barf. First of all, if you ever want to attract a woman, don’t say the word worthy. Yes, please keep the word worthy. Like worthy of what?

Katy Ripp 00:25:56  And I definitely don’t want to hear it in a male voice.

Katy Ripp 00:26:00  I’ll tolerate it.

Melissa Fino 00:26:03  No, and I was like, I never use worthy in my vocabulary when I’m talking to anyone, especially not with like client or clients I want to attract in any way. And then I went on and told him about the dream clients and how for me, at this point in time, within my business, like all I want to do is work with women who lift me and inspire me in who I’m. When I’m in their business, I’m like, oh my God, I cannot wait to see this blow up. Like, it just makes me so excited, right? Like, yes, that’s all I want in my life right now, because that’s why we hurt our businesses, right?

Katy Ripp 00:26:40  Well, and when you have lost someone, death becomes very real. And that. Why are we doing this? Why are we doing this? Why are we working at jobs just to get to retirement? I don’t understand that. I’m not knocking anybody that does that. That’s not how I can live my life.

Katy Ripp 00:27:00  I just and I think there’s a lot of people that, like, have that sort of before loss, after loss that it makes you really start to think about, wow, I have no idea how much time I have left here. What am I doing here? Oh my God, completely.

Melissa Fino 00:27:17  And this really goes on to like with the soulmate clients and that statement that you asked me about, I call it your wealthy on every level life. Yeah. Because to me wealth goes beyond money I love money. I want everyone to make it. I think when women have more. But they do amazing things with it, right? But my soulmate clients aren’t just in it for the money. They’re in it like knowing that it provides them more time to spend with their families and like, buy their parents a home and like, do different things with their kids and go out on an afternoon walk at Wednesday at 2:00 in the afternoon just because they want to like, you know, like that is your wealthy life.

Melissa Fino 00:27:52  So my soulmate clients aren’t just like, I want to go buy 4000 Prada purses. They’re like, yeah, I mean.

Katy Ripp 00:28:00  You can do that. That’s cool.

Melissa Fino 00:28:03  But that’s not the only thing.

Katy Ripp 00:28:04  And you better fucking know why you want 4000 Gucci purses, right? Like, if you’re gonna give them away. Cool. I mean, I don’t even care why you want them. If you want them. And you’re honest about wanting them and you’re honest about where that comes from. That’s fine. I don’t care what you do with your money, but you better know what you want it for. And you better know how much you actually need. Not just what the world is telling you you need. I get clients all the time and they’re like, well, I really want to make $100,000 this year, or 500 or 1 million or whatever that dollar amount is. And I’m like, for what? What is the $100,000 do for you? What’s $100,000 divided by 12 months? And they have no idea.

Katy Ripp 00:28:47  They don’t have any idea what $100,000 even represents in their life. And so to not know, like you have to pull out a fucking calculator and say $100,000 divided by 12. That’s how much I’m making a month. Now, what am I going to do with that money every month?

Melissa Fino 00:29:04  I’m so sorry. I’m still completely with you, but now I’m just thinking about how beautiful would it be if we could get 4000 Gucci purses and donate them to a women’s shelter?

Katy Ripp 00:29:13  Yes. That’s why we need to make money so we can do shit like that. Yeah. Yeah. Like, how can we do that? I mean, I’m on board. I will find a way to make enough money to buy 2000 of the 4000. We can split it. We can put it at a women’s shelter, and they can fucking auction them off. And everybody’s out of the women’s shelter. Yeah, that’s why good women need to make good money. Yeah. This is not about guilty money. This is not about.

Katy Ripp 00:29:40  I feel icky because of this money. It is our responsibility to make this money so we can help other people. Period. Yeah.

Melissa Fino 00:29:48  Well, it’s such a beautiful thought. Yeah.

Katy Ripp 00:29:49  Keep going. Sorry.

Melissa Fino 00:29:51  No, I mean, I love it, and this is like. That’s what I talk about with, you know, just that soul mate. Quiet. Like you’re my soulmate client. Katie.

Katy Ripp 00:29:58  Great.

Melissa Fino 00:29:58  I’m in.

Katy Ripp 00:30:00  Well. And I’m all about attracting and, like, really getting into, like, timing is divine. Like, this year, I’m looking for a coach. And so now I found it, right? Like, now I’ve found you. You’ve just, like, landed in my lap. And here we are. And now I’m working with you. Right. This is like, literally the stuff that is built of connection. And I mean, we’re both coaches. Yeah, I could have been like, well, no, you’re a coach. I don’t want you on my podcast because you could be my competition.

Katy Ripp 00:30:30  Like you could be taking my clients. You’re not.

Melissa Fino 00:30:33  Oh hell no.

Katy Ripp 00:30:34  No. We’re going to collaborate and get Gucci purses. Like, we can collaborate all day long. And guess what we get to do is we get to share all the knowledge times two or to the nth degree.

Melissa Fino 00:30:46  Yeah, I’ve always been like that in business. I’ve had multiple situations over the past decade where I’ve had beautiful relationships with different coaches, and I’ve always highlighted them, and I think that that’s kind of the beauty of the online space is that when you join masterminds or you build other connections through podcast interviews or collaborations, all of a sudden you always have this kind of like, supportive sister that you’ve never met who is always cheering for you in rooms that you’re not in, right?

Katy Ripp 00:31:15  Oh, it’s my like one of my favorite thoughts is somebody is either saying your name or standing up for you, either defensively or offensively in rooms you’re not in. And that is happening all the time. Yeah, it’s happening all the time, whether you know it or not.

Katy Ripp 00:31:33  And when you do know it it’s pretty fucking amazing.

Melissa Fino 00:31:38  I know it. I know. It really is. And that’s just the beauty of building different connections and showing up all of the time and being open.

Katy Ripp 00:31:47  Yes. Yeah.

Melissa Fino 00:31:48  I’ve always had conversations with women where they’re like, I don’t want to reach out to somebody and start a conversation. And I’m like, you probably don’t want to reach out and start a conversation because you have one objective in mind to make a sale. Yeah.

Katy Ripp 00:32:00  The end game. Right. And I can always tell when, like, somebody drops into my DMs and they’re like, oh my God, I love to make this connection and blah, blah, blah. How did you get into the coaching world? And then I’m like, are you fucking kidding me? Right. Like no. Delete. I just like, they could be the coolest person in the world. I don’t want you to sell me your coaching. I can tell you right now, I will give you my money for your coaching skills, and I will value that until the nth degree.

Katy Ripp 00:32:28  But I have to have a connection with you first.

Melissa Fino 00:32:30  I love that. So how long have you been coaching for?

Katy Ripp 00:32:33  Not that long.

Melissa Fino 00:32:34  Since you were in diapers, asshole.

Katy Ripp 00:32:38  Yeah. How long have you been coaching? What do you like?

Melissa Fino 00:32:41  Your feed is so amazing. I’m like, yeah.

Katy Ripp 00:32:45  Fuck you, I. You know, at the same time, I really do love social media. And I’ve said this a ton of times, but it is part of my job to curate my Instagram feed. I fight against the algorithm 100 times a day. I am constantly blocking people, constantly unfollowing, constantly getting into a place where like, I want my feed to be filled with other really amazing people. Travel. Beauty. I just I don’t take the bait anymore. I just am smart enough to do that.

Melissa Fino 00:33:19  My Instagram followers used to be like 12,000 and I just have been like slowly deleting and deleting and deleting. And so like five days ago it said like you have 30 possible spam something and you can delete them if you want.

Melissa Fino 00:33:33  And it wouldn’t show me who the accounts were. Oh, and I was like, oh, just delete whatever. Yeah. And then I go to reach out to my hairdresser who I only connect with Instagram. And I had deleted her whoops. And I was like, listen, this is really awkward. Did you unfollow me? I don’t care if you unfollowed me, but I have to know if I did it or you did it. Apologized like, I don’t know.

Katy Ripp 00:33:54  I don’t really know. I’m so sorry. Because if I press follow again, you’re going to be like, why the fuck were you following me? And I didn’t want to be that.

Melissa Fino 00:34:02  Person who was like, did you unfollow me? Like, okay, yeah, I know.

Katy Ripp 00:34:06  I know.

Melissa Fino 00:34:07  Yeah. And so I was actually just looking to reach out to one of my friends in LA and the same thing on Instagram. And I went to his DM and I was like, oh shit, I’m not bringing it up.

Melissa Fino 00:34:18  Can I delete him too? Oh, no.

Katy Ripp 00:34:21  Oh, good. Good. Okay, so tell me what you got going on. Like, I know you’ve got a bunch of stuff and, like, some stuff that’s coming up soon, so tell me all about that and tell me how I can get there.

Melissa Fino 00:34:33  So I have a two day visibility workshop called amplifier, where I’m going to walk you through the willpower, resilience, and all of the magical stuff to take you from expert to authority within your industry. And so that is going to be happening the first week of February. It’s the fifth and the sixth on a Wednesday and Thursday at 1:00 Eastern Standard Time.

Katy Ripp 00:34:55  Cool. We’re going to put that link in the show notes. Tell me, so you say industry, do you work with specific industries? Do you like to work with any in particular industry? Give me some examples of clients you might have.

Melissa Fino 00:35:07  Coaches. Consultants. Experts. I’ve worked with brick and mortars before. I don’t have any brick and mortars right now, but I do have a couple of coaches and copywriters.

Melissa Fino 00:35:16  Oh, sure. All of that kind of.

Katy Ripp 00:35:17  Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Do you have a favorite? I mean, I know you can’t really say that, but.

Melissa Fino 00:35:22  No, I don’t really have a favorite at all. Yeah, I love all of my clients that I’m working with right now because I’m only saying yes to people I love. Yeah.

Katy Ripp 00:35:31  I mean, I think about that all the time because I really don’t work with anybody I don’t want to work with. I actually don’t really do anything I don’t want to do anymore.

Melissa Fino 00:35:38  So I have been doing this for ten years, and I’ve done a lot of things I didn’t want to do, but I’ve learned a lot of lessons from them. I actually just had a client who I had worked with maybe like two years ago, who just came back to do some more stuff, and I was like, Jackie, you reach a certain point in your business where you’re like, for so long, I’m looking for clients, I’m looking for clients.

Melissa Fino 00:36:01  I want this. And then all of a sudden you’re like, I’m only picking the clients that I’m working with. Yeah.

Katy Ripp 00:36:06  And double your price. You can take one client for every two.

Melissa Fino 00:36:12  Depending on the service that you’re bringing. Yeah. Yeah. For years I work with people and I said, you should always raise your price. And then I realized, you can say that for someone, but that doesn’t mean that somebody else has that mindset where they could actually get.

Katy Ripp 00:36:25  So true, so true. Right.

Melissa Fino 00:36:28  So now I always say, hey, I think you should raise your prices and let’s talk about it, but only do it when you know that you’re ready for it. Yeah. Like, only.

Katy Ripp 00:36:36  Do it when you’ve got your money mindset straight.

Melissa Fino 00:36:39  Yeah, right. Or like, it’s that one next step where you’re like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah I can, I can leap for it now. Yeah. So and I would love to link my book as well if I 100%.

Katy Ripp 00:36:51  Yes. Give me all your stuff. So you’ve got a line. What did you say though.

Melissa Fino 00:36:55  It’s called amplifier.

Katy Ripp 00:36:57  Amplifier okay. Amplifier.

Melissa Fino 00:36:59  A two day visibility workshop.

Katy Ripp 00:37:00  Virtual, I’m assuming. Yep.

Melissa Fino 00:37:02  February 5th. February 6th. An hour and a half each session live where it’s kind of. We’re going to get into all the magic.

Katy Ripp 00:37:09  Oh, my God, I can’t wait. I’m in. And then we’ll definitely link your book. Will you write another book? Do you think.

Melissa Fino 00:37:16  I have to eventually write another book? Because we have to write about this has nothing to do with business. Yeah.

Katy Ripp 00:37:21  And how about, like, the process of writing a book? Because I bet that there’s people out here right now, like I have a book in my head. I don’t know how to do it.

Melissa Fino 00:37:31  Like I said, it took me four years to write the book. When I first started my business I was doing a lot of blogging. So that’s why I said my book started off like little pieces.

Melissa Fino 00:37:41  Yeah. At one point in time, a famous author who had a book. Kind of like him anyway. Do you like Brené Brown? Yeah. She’s one of the biggest reasons why I like, kind of dipped into the coaching industry. She has her master’s in social work, PhD and worthless like all of it. So the process of writing a book, that’s where we’re going right. Yeah. Yeah. I think that it’s much easier nowadays because it can give you the outline. The things that people don’t understand is that you ChatGPT can only work for you if you know everything about you. Yeah. And when it comes to writing a book, you can’t write a book through ChatGPT and put it on Amazon, and it’s not going to get published. Yeah. It’s like none of that is going to happen. Yeah. It has to be written by you with your own voice, your authenticity, your own story. It’s like everything within the coaching business, right? Like you’re only going to succeed.

Melissa Fino 00:38:35  It’s all you. Yeah.

Katy Ripp 00:38:36  And I mean, even the questions or the content, whatever you have. Yes, I is going to do a lot of that for us. Sometimes you don’t know what questions to ask. ChatGPT. That’s where coaching comes in. Right. Like I know what questions to ask somebody to get under a layer that AI is never going to know.

Melissa Fino 00:38:57  Oh my God. I have little bots for every single one of my clients, and they’re always like, your ChatGPT is so different than mine, it doesn’t give me the same. Yeah. I don’t know what to put in it. Like to get the results out. Right? Right. And it’s also due to experience.

Katy Ripp 00:39:12  Yeah. Wisdom. Right? Experience and age. What does the future hold for you? What do you think? Like, you know, you’re 46, so 50 is on the horizon. 60 is on the horizon. What does that look like for you?

Melissa Fino 00:39:24  So there’s a lot of things going on.

Melissa Fino 00:39:26  I am a guest expert in one of my girlfriend Karen’s biohacking mastermind, and she’s in France. So I love this, like, great connection that she’s had. And that is really a lot about who I am. Like, I believe that the way you do one thing is the way you do everything. So if you are not healthier, if you’re not treating your body or if your mindset is all out of whack outside of your business, it’s going to be impacting how you show up in your life.

Katy Ripp 00:39:54  Nobody likes to hear this, by the way.

Melissa Fino 00:39:56  Of course, they do.

Katy Ripp 00:39:57  Not love to hear that. I have heard that before a number of times. Like how you do one thing is how you do everything. And I’m like, that’s not totally true. The fuck it isn’t. I just don’t like it.

Melissa Fino 00:40:10  I Oh, yes. People do not understand. If you are one person online and you’re a completely different person offline. The resistance that shows up when you’re that person online is so fucking obvious.

Melissa Fino 00:40:22  And it’s keeping you from everything. Yeah, it’s making everything so much fucking harder.

Katy Ripp 00:40:27  Yeah, so much harder. Yeah.

Melissa Fino 00:40:29  So there’s a lot going on with that. I’m super excited about that. She officially launches it in February, and I know that there’s got to be a retreat on the horizon. I have been in Sarasota for six months, and I’m still kind of deciding if I’m going to end up going back to California. Okay. Yeah. So there’s a little bit of that in me. Just kind of like sitting with where I am.

Katy Ripp 00:40:52  Yeah. Have you done retreats?

Melissa Fino 00:40:54  I have done tons of virtual retreats. I have yet to do my first in-person retreat.

Katy Ripp 00:40:59  And so I will be your first guest. Really, I love retreat, I love going on retreats. I decided I’m going to do a retreat this year. I just like that’s the thing I’m going to do. I don’t know what it looks like. I know it’s going to be in October somewhere in the southwest, but that’s all I got.

Katy Ripp 00:41:16  Yeah. That’s enough.

Melissa Fino 00:41:18  So are you thinking kind of like in this area, a southwest, San Diego?

Katy Ripp 00:41:21  Southwest? USA? Nope. Southwest USA. Somewhere in Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado. Somewhere out there. I need the warmth. I’m in Wisconsin. It’s fucking.

Melissa Fino 00:41:33  Shitty.

Katy Ripp 00:41:33  Here right now.

Melissa Fino 00:41:35  The first time I drove cross-country, I drove cross-country like, ten times by now. The first time I drove across country and I went through New Mexico, the clouds in New Mexico, I like it was kind of like the first guy I ever fell in love with. I fell in love with the clouds because they were so big and blue and beautiful. Like, I.

Katy Ripp 00:41:55  Love the sky so much. I don’t know why, but New Mexico has always been like on my list of places to visit, so I think it’s going to be somewhere over there. And did you know that there’s a city called Truth or Consequences in New Mexico?

Melissa Fino 00:42:08  No.

Katy Ripp 00:42:09  That’s where I want to do my retreat.

Melissa Fino 00:42:11  Really look into it, though, because I know some skeevy hotels. Like I said, I’ve drove across the country so many times now, I have stayed. I mean, yeah, I don’t think it’s.

Katy Ripp 00:42:21  Like the nicest place, but I really do think it’s like an Instagram moment in front of the sign.

Melissa Fino 00:42:27  In the sign. And then there’s like.

Katy Ripp 00:42:29  I will go to the next town.

Melissa Fino 00:42:32  There’s a beautiful Airbnb somewhere.

Katy Ripp 00:42:34  It’s somewhere in Truth or Consequences. Oh, Melissa, this has been so great. I just and so many levels. I love to connect with people like this. And I think that we connected through threads. Is that right? Yeah. Yeah. So I had never really used threads, and I had run out of guests for my podcast and I tried to Chandler’s going to hear this, but I tried to like cancel my producer. And I was like, hey, I need to take a break. I don’t have anybody I like. Can we take a break? And bless her heart because she is an amazing business owner.

Katy Ripp 00:43:07  She was like, yeah, sure, we can take a break, except I need a 30 day notice. And I was like, fuck. So then I was like, okay, well, I gotta pay her anyway. How can I find more guests? So I that was the threat. Like, I just was like, hey, I’ve never used threads. It seems like my feed on threads is a whole bunch of women, right? Like, really high energy, high VI. I mean, I must have curated it at some point to that, but that algorithm actually works if you ask me. And I just like, put it out there and I got like 70 applications and I was like, oh fuck yes. But like.

Melissa Fino 00:43:45  You’re not going on vacation. Yes.

Katy Ripp 00:43:47  But the people that I have met already through this is just my soul mates, right? Like everybody, I, I just hired a retreat person of a from a podcast guest. I have, like, connected other people to the guests, like, oh, my friend, this person in my network could totally use your service.

Katy Ripp 00:44:10  Yeah, because they all end up being small business owners of some sort where I can like, all of a sudden I’m building this amazing network of like, oh, you need this person. Guess who I have for you from a Simple Threads post. Now, I’ve hired a coach like, oh, I don’t like, how did this happen? This is amazing.

Melissa Fino 00:44:31  I love it.

Katy Ripp 00:44:31  I just think this world is very fascinating and I have a lot of faith in the universe. And she likes to hold my hand and tiptoe through the tulips. So I think, you know, the more energy and the more high vibe, we can put it into each other, it just always comes back in spades.

Melissa Fino 00:44:47  And so I have never heard that line tip her through the tulips and I love it. Oh, really? I don’t even know what that quantum thing.

Katy Ripp 00:44:55  Yeah, maybe it’s a Wisconsin thing because we have a ton of tulips. I don’t know where that comes from, but Tiptoe Through the Tulips is always a love it.

Katy Ripp 00:45:04  It’s a thing. Yeah. Okay, so where can people find you? We’re going to definitely put your stuff in the show notes. But where can people find you if you want them to find you? Yeah.

Melissa Fino 00:45:11  So I will send you my Instagram. You can come over and meet me on there, and then we’re going to send the link for the amplifier and my book and my website is Melissa. I have a whole bunch of freebies on there. There’s conversions with less bullshit.

Katy Ripp 00:45:25  Oh, I love that.

Melissa Fino 00:45:27  Words that will help you convert more. Lots of fun stuff. Oh, I have a 13 different wealth meditations that are on there which are really delicious to listen to.

Katy Ripp 00:45:35  Oh, fun. Okay, well, we will definitely put that in there. I really, really appreciate you coming on. This was such a lovely introduction to you. And maybe in my business book club we’ll read Little Miss Perfect.

Melissa Fino 00:45:48  I love it. Yes.

Melissa Fino 00:45:49  Thank you so much for having awesome.

Katy Ripp 00:45:51  Yeah. Thank you Melissa.

Katy Ripp 00:45:54  And that’s a wrap on today’s episode. I hope you enjoyed diving deep into the world of living authentically with me. Before you go, don’t forget to connect with me on Instagram. Shoot me a message at Katy Ripp. I’d love to hear your thoughts on today’s episode and connect with you further. And remember, if you want more details on today’s episode, or just want to explore more about designing your life unapologetically, head on over to my website at Katy Ripp. Com. There you’ll find all the juicy details and resources you need to keep the inspiration flowing. Lastly, if you’d like to join me on the show, whether it’s to tell about your experience of designing your own life, to share your expertise, or if you’d like to participate in lifestyle coaching live on air, don’t hesitate to reach out. Your story could inspire countless others on their own path to living authentically. Thanks for tuning in. Until next time, keep living boldly designing your life and remember #ActuallyICan.