Originally written in August 2020. Updated with a little perspective from the other side.

I wrote this in the middle of a year when everything felt upside down. The pandemic, the news, the uncertainty, and the prospect of homeschooling my children had me feeling more than a little overwhelmed.

Reading it now, I’m struck by how much I was already trying to figure out about myself. I hadn’t quit drinking yet. I was still learning how to recognize what I needed instead of automatically reaching for something to make the discomfort go away.

And apparently, my Australian shepherds were trying to teach me something.

Turns out, they were onto something.

I didn’t have a grand plan for self-care when life felt overwhelming. I was just trying to figure out how to make it through the day without letting everything happening in the world take over everything happening in my head.

What Do You Do When Life Feels Like It’s Falling Apart?

I don’t even watch the news anymore, but here’s what I’ve picked up through various media channels over the past few days:

• COVID numbers are going up, not down.
• A community less than two hours from me, Kenosha, Wisconsin, has made national news with riots, protests, and deaths.
• Our local county has put so many restrictions on schools, restaurants, bars, and retail shops that my friends and community members are suffering financially and, perhaps even more importantly, mentally.
• There’s an “unsurvivable” hurricane about to make landfall along the Gulf of Mexico.
• There’s a litany of angry faces jumping out from screens, screaming for me to cast my vote for the lesser of two evils in an election that couldn’t have come at a worse time.
• I’m about to homeschool my children.

And that’s just the short list.

Holy shit, man. Armageddon, anyone?

It’s hard not to get swallowed up in it all. Really hard.

But as I sit here, on National Dog Day no less, staring out my window at three very content, happy (albeit very hot) Australian shepherds, I’m trying to take a lesson from them.

They’re not particularly concerned about the election, the pandemic, or what tomorrow might bring.

They’re just waiting for one of us to acknowledge them, pet them, and play with them.

And honestly?

That WOULD make everything better, wouldn’t it?

Pet me. Notice me. Play with me.

Could it really be that easy?

Let’s see if we can translate from dog to human. Bear with me. This metaphor might get ugly.

Pet Me: Take Care of Yourself

We need to start caring for ourselves.

And I don’t necessarily mean an elaborate spa day or an expensive wellness retreat. Although if someone wants to send me on one, I’m not going to argue.

I’m talking about our actual, physical senses.

Think about how much information we take in every single day. News alerts, social media, television, podcasts, YouTube videos, emails, text messages, and approximately 4,000 notifications from apps we don’t even remember downloading.

Our eyes and ears are working overtime, and our brains are desperately trying to sort through everything by importance, urgency, and intensity.

It’s called sensory overload.

Good times.

So, just for today, can we step back for a hot minute?

Take enough time to reboot the computer?

Turn off the television, podcast, or YouTube video. Silence the notifications on our phones. Skip the news for a day. A week. Maybe even a month.

Of course we can.

The question is, will we?

That’s the million-dollar question.

And while we’re giving our eyes and ears a little vacation, maybe we could pay attention to our other senses.

Can one of the kids brush your hair? Tickle your feet? Maybe your spouse could rub your back. Not that kind of back rub, unless of course the mood strikes.

How about snuggling with a pet and a good, fluffy book?

And if petting isn’t your thing, or you’ll absolutely lose your mind if one more living, breathing being crawls onto your lap or hangs around your neck, I get that too.

Try washing your face earlier than usual. Take a bath. Light a candle. Make some tea. Eat a piece of fruit. Paint your toenails. Lie on your yoga mat.

Something that feels good without requiring you to accomplish a single damn thing.

I know there’s a lot going on. I know the to-do list feels endless.

I’m there too.

But here’s the thing: that entire list will still be there tomorrow.

And unless someone is going to get hurt or die if you don’t finish it today, maybe you can put it away for a little while.

Years later, I started thinking about this in terms of the Four Currencies of a Values-Driven Life: time, energy, money, and attention.

Especially attention.

Because everything seems to want a piece of it, and we don’t have an unlimited supply.

Notice Me: Pay Attention to What’s Going On Inside

This one’s a little tougher.

We spend so much of our lives trying to get other humans to notice us.

But what if we stood back for a second and noticed ourselves?

What would happen if we started paying attention to what’s going on inside?

What happens RIGHT BEFORE we reach for the glass of wine, the bag of chips, or the next shiny new thing in our social media feeds?

I’m notoriously guilty of that last one.

And apparently, I cannot seem to learn the lesson that the cozy sweatshirt on the Facebook model will arrive from China as a Barbie-sized XXL.

Every. Single. Time.

Anyway.

This whole idea of “take a breath before you react” has always made me roll my eyes a little.

I mean, I get it.

But it seems so simple that it couldn’t possibly work, right?

Much like the whole progress-over-perfection thing, slowing down and noticing what’s happening goes directly against my all-or-nothing personality.

If something needs fixing, I want to fix it.

Immediately.

Preferably yesterday.

But I’m ready to give this whole pausing thing a shot.

Here are a few tricks I’ve been trying.

1. Recognize the Trigger

Start by noticing what’s happening in your body.

Maybe it’s a racing heart, a pounding headache, that familiar knot in your stomach, or a gross, sweaty palm.

Maybe you’re suddenly irritated by every human being within a 50-foot radius.

Whatever it is, try to recognize the physical signals that something is happening before you automatically react.

Consider them little reminders to activate your internal pause button.

2. Press Pause

Mentally say “pause.”

Or, if you’re alone and really dedicated to breaking the habit, say “stop” out loud.

In my case, since I’m from Wisconsin and our version of “excuse me” is OPE, I’ve started saying “ope” when I catch myself reaching for the refrigerator door to stare blankly inside.

Ope.

What am I doing here?

Am I hungry? Bored? Stressed? Avoiding something?

Or did I just wander into the kitchen because apparently that’s what I do now?

“Ope” might be my favorite word in the entire world.

And since we can’t even get close enough to people to use it properly these days, I might as well put it to work here.

It actually seems to be helping.

And it makes me chuckle to myself, so there’s a bonus.

3. Take a Deep Breath

I know. I know.

Everyone and their mother tells