Day 9 Alcohol Free: The First Time It Started To Feel Easier

Weight: 208.3

This is so lame.

However, this is where I would usually say fuck it. Actually, it probably would have been yesterday. But, since I’ve made the decision to stick to this for 90 days, I have no other choice but to see what happens tomorrow.

And before you get their undies in a bundle, I KNOW this is going to take time.

I know it’s just a number.

I know I should pay attention to how my clothes fit instead.

I work at a health club. I am surrounded by personal trainers, nutritionists and all around healthy people all day long. I know all the research and all the facts and all the science behind losing weight. I have researched it for decades.

But, this is actually what it FEELS like to do it and that’s all I am writing about here as part of my alcohol-free journey. The daily ups and downs, not knowing if what you are doing is actually working. It’s frustrating. And annoying. And discouraging.

Unfortunately, the scale is the best measure, besides taking body measurements everyday and ain’t nobody got time for that.

{Allow me a digression: If you’ve been struggling, or have struggled with weight loss in the past, you know what I am talking about. If you have never had to struggle with your weight, self-confidence or self-worth, first, good for you.

Secondly, do me a favor? If you see someone at the gym or in a class that looks confused or lost, have a little compassion and help them out. It took the motivation of a freight train to get in the car, walk through that front door and try to navigate a spot in an uncomfortable place. I’m not asking you to do anything, just asking that you to think about it.}

And, I’m smart enough to know that on Day 38, this is going to seem so dumb.

As I was whining to myself in the shower this morning, my Apple watch dings with a text from my sister. (I know it’s ridiculous how much I rely on this stupid thing.) She showered (no pun intended) me with compliments, as she usually does and I probably don’t tell her I appreciate them enough, and then mentioned something about a Whoosh effect.

Well, of course, I had to search everything I could find on the subject. Pinterest had an awful lot to say on this very thing.

Interestingly, most of the sites that have articles on it are Keto diet focused and while I’m not on a Keto diet I poked around.

It seems almost all of them give credit to Lyle McDonald for explaining the effect in a simple way. I’ll summarize, but you can read the article I found of his here.

Basically, the theory is that after fat cells had been emptied of stored triglyceride, they would temporarily refill with water allowing for no immediate change in size, body weight or appearance. Then, after some time, specific to each person’s body type, the water would get dropped and the fat cells would shrink making the number on the scale go down and a noticeable change in body composition.

So, I guess I’ll wait. After all, patience is just waiting with a good attitude.

On a brighter note, I think I had the best night’s sleep in almost a decade last night.

My house is still clean. My 15 minutes were spent just doing dishes and putting one, yes one, load in the dryer. That load is now folded AND put away.

Who knew laundry could be so satisfying when there isn’t 17 loads to do?

So, I got to it today.

I spread out everything I had been ignoring from the last two months, organized it, went to the bank and got my budget down on paper. Tomorrow is for putting it all together.

Today was my mother-in-law’s birthday.

We spent a couple of hours out to dinner with family and it was lovely. It was basically my first real social event where everyone would have expected me to have a beer. I didn’t. No one asked. And it was seriously no big deal on many levels.

Then, I laid on that beautiful yoga mat breathing heavy and feeling my heart beat against my bones, sweat dripping down my temples.

The instructor chose to play sounds from an ocean scene during savasana; waves crashing, sea gulls chirping, wind blowing. It took me to a place where sheer curtains blew gracefully inward while I leaned against a balcony overlooking the beach.

It was a lovely daydream. It was so real it was disappointing when I finally heard the instructor say namaste.

Namaste right here, thanks.

I can’t believe I am about to say this, mainly because I have believed the opposite for so very, very long, but not drinking is so much easier than drinking.

I definitely may come to regret those words in the next few weeks or months, but right now, that’s how I feel. For those of you that know me well, you’ll be surprised to hear this considering I have spent the better part of 20 years making drinking wine my part-time job.

But no one is more surprised than me.

I feel so good right now. I am doing things I only thought about and “wanted” to do forever. I am sleeping better, eating better, have more patience with everyone, accomplished more in the last week than I have in months and genuinely have a more optimistic view on what 2019 holds for me and my fam.

If you would have asked me a month ago I would have told you I was scared shitless of what the other side of 9 days would look like. One of my biggest fears is that I would be bored. Weird, I know. I’ll get in to some of my other fears around this again, but for today, I am just happy to be here.

On the other side of Day 9.

You jumped ahead to Day 38 didn’t you?