Katy Ripp (00:00:00) – Actually, I can to me means actually, I can do it my way. Actually, I can do it differently. We can all do it differently. We get the choice. We get to do it. I want to empower people to be able to go out and say, actually, I can do it that way. And I did do it that way.

Katy Ripp (00:00:24) – Hey, their fellow rebels, welcome to #ActuallyICan, the podcast where we say a hearty hell yes to designing life on our own terms. I’m Katy Ripp, a lifestyle coach, business mentor, and serial entrepreneur here to guide you through the wild ride, defying what society expects of us and embracing our authenticity. On this show, we dive deep into taboo topics like death, money, spirituality, entrepreneurship, unapologetic self-care, and personal development, all while swearing and laughing along the way. Expect down and dirty conversations, plenty of humor, and a whole lot of exploration, leaving you feeling empowered to be your truest self. Whether you’re craving a good laugh, seeking unconventional self-care tips, or simply looking for some camaraderie, you’ve come to the right place.

Katy Ripp (00:01:11) – We only get this one short life, so buckle up and let’s design yours on our own terms. Ready to dive in? Let’s go.

Katy Ripp (00:01:25) – Okay. So welcome, Patti. Thank you for joining me.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:01:28) – Good morning. I’m so happy.

Katy Ripp (00:01:31) – To see you. I mean, I’m always happy to see your face, but this is exponentially special for me. So for the listeners, Patty and I.

Katy Ripp (00:01:38) – Met.

Katy Ripp (00:01:39) – 2016. Is that right? That could be the date. Oh, it was 2016. Because al died in 2017. It was the year before he died, I think.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:01:49) – Okay, then 16.

Katy Ripp (00:01:50) – 2016, and Patty and I met only because the universe put us together. I don’t know that there’s any other way to really describe it. Patty and I met at a Floret Flowers workshop, and if you’re not familiar with Floret Flowers, first of all, go out and check her out, Erin Benzakein. We think that that’s how you pronounce your last name. That sounds right. So I was just venturing into the flower farming field, no pun intended.

Katy Ripp (00:02:19) – And I decided to go out to Washington and take a flower farming intensive. I don’t know that I ever really figured out, Patty, why you went there. Except that you’re a lifelong learner.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:02:37) – Yeah. You know, that’s a really, really great question that I often reflect back on. I mean, at that moment, I believed that I might have this opportunity to do something more serious with flowers. But truly, I think it was a retreat in my mind. I just wanted to be surrounded by something pretty and do something that was outside of the world that I worked in.

Katy Ripp (00:02:58) – And yeah, and we did do something pretty right. So in a Facebook group that she had set, Erin had set up, it was kind of a lodging thing, right? Like, you guys can room together. This is like best story ever. But like, you guys can room together. You can find roommates on this thing. I think this is pretty popular these days, right? Like when you go to retreats, you can find people to room with.

Katy Ripp (00:03:22) – So I get three other people, or we all connect to there’s four of us total and we find, I don’t know if was Airbnb’s like even a big, huge thing at that point, right. Like I think that’s what we ended up getting was an Airbnb. That’s probably a story for another day, but we’ll just talk about some bedbugs that happened at that. Oh, it’s such a good story. I also lacked the keys in my rental car at Walmart with my phone inside of it, with voicemails from Patty. Arianna. Like it was just it was a thing. But Patty and I connected on, well, for me, such a visceral level. I don’t even know how to explain how we’ve really connected, but we have kept obviously kept in touch. Patty lives in Oregon and I live in Wisconsin, so we have seen each other almost every year except for Covid, I think almost every year since we met originally. But Patty has, and I’m probably going to cry when I say this.

Katy Ripp (00:04:29) – Patty has single handedly saved my life, saved my marriage, made me a better mother, likely saved businesses. Money. I will never forget you as taking me back to the airport one time. And you probably don’t even remember this. Petty. But you said something about getting your house in order, and that has resonated with me so hard ever since, that whenever I feel really chaotic, I always feel like I just need to get my house in order. Among thousands of other things you’ve said to me and help me with. So Patty was like the perfect person to basically introduce me to the podcast world. I think this has been sort of on the podcast itself has been sort of on my mind for, oh, I don’t know, since podcasts became cool, I guess, you know, I finally bit the bullet and did it. And so here I am, and I really wanted to allow you guys to meet Patty, because she is just like an angel from up above, but also because I think she knows me the best outside of my like, immediate family.

Katy Ripp (00:05:44) – I think she knows me the best and can sort of maybe pull out some information that I think you guys might like. So welcome, Patty.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:05:53) – Thank you, I love it. You give me way too much credit.

Katy Ripp (00:05:56) – Oh, that is not true.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:05:57) – But you and I were instantly connected. And I’ll be clear, I never stay in a group setting, so I don’t know why I agreed to that, but it. I know it was destined. So our relationship unfolded very, very fast. And by the time I took you to the airport to fly back home at the end of that weekend, it was clear we were going to be well. Dale said it.

Katy Ripp (00:06:25) – Dale said.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:06:25) – It, Dale said it. We’re going to be friends. You’re going to be friends.

Katy Ripp (00:06:28) – And this was like minutes after you guys met. Yeah. You were the only one there. And he looked at me and he said, oh, you guys are going to be friends. Yeah, here we are.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:06:38) – Yeah, here we are.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:06:39) – And we had so much in common. I mean, so many things that were really, really, really, really, really funny. Just, you know, same dogs, same dads with the same names. You know, you named your daughter what I would have named a daughter if I would have had him. I have sons, you know, it just went on and on and on and on and on and on too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So let’s talk about podcast. Katy. I’m so I am super curious because you’re the person in my life that takes such big risks and steps out there and is so bold and willing to go and do the things that I think intimidate the rest of us. So I kind of probably internally know why you are doing this, but I’m curious to hear it in your own words. What made you decide you needed to start a podcast about people breaking societal norms? Where did that come from?

Katy Ripp (00:07:33) – Yeah, if anybody’s followed me for a while, it’s been a progression over the last three, four, maybe five years.

Katy Ripp (00:07:41) – Probably since I’ve met you. I’ve got decades of self-development books, self-help, all the retreats, all the seminars, all the motivational speakers. I’ve just always really been into that and like learning and continuing to grow, but never really had the balls to do anything until about the last five years. And if we had to pinpoint something, I think it would be the death of my father in law, right? Like it was super unexpected. He was 59 years old. My husband and I had never gone through anything like that together. He had been to very few funerals. I’ve been to a number of funerals and been around people that have lost, you know, very close people to them. But he really never had, you know, grandparents that lived to 90s. And, you know, not that death isn’t sad, but when it’s somebody that sort of has an entire life ahead of them, it really does do more than you think it’s going to do to your life.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:08:44) – Well, it was absolutely shocking, too.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:08:46) – Yes. It was so shocking the way all unfolded.

Katy Ripp (00:08:51) – That whole thing really just rocked our world. And we didn’t really know a whole lot about grief. And I think, I mean, I still think that there’s very little research on grief, but I really didn’t, you know, you think that you’re going to be whatever the thing is, that anger, the denial, the sadness, the depression that, you know, all of these steps. But I remember actually you said it to me and you’ve had your fair share of grief, too. So you had said to me when something happened. How much do you think this has to do with grief? And I just at the time didn’t know, I didn’t know. And I started digging into that a little bit and realized, shit, this is not being dealt with, right? Like the grief part of this.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:09:41) – We I’m so curious about that. So you’re kind of saying that other parts of your life, you’re having these experiences that are you’re analyzing or thinking about or questioning, and then you’re recognizing that they are interwoven with grief that’s not been dealt with.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:09:56) – Is that kind of 100%. Got it.

Katy Ripp (00:09:59) – And I mean, there were issues, you know, before he died. But I think that that was the thing that like a, for lack of a better cliche, opened up our eyes. Right. Open my eyes. I got you my eyes to my responsibility in some of the things that were going on in our life at the time. And let me be clear, everything was kind of fine, right? Like it was fine. There was nothing like major in our life that was wrong. It just it sort of opened up my eyes into I think I could be more I think I can do more, I think I can try more, I think I can learn more. And that didn’t happen right away. But I have always had in the back of my mind a problem with drinking. It’s always been how I’ve solved things, which is never really a solution or how I coped with something. But in my heart of hearts, in my soul, I just knew it wasn’t good for me.

Katy Ripp (00:10:57) – So in August of 21, I just hung it up. I just said, I’m done drinking, period. I made that decision. You know, the Latin word for decide is to cut off. I just decided I was not going to drink anymore and that part has changed my life. Like, I think it’s always been there, but it was the thing on the top that I knew that if I just cut that one thing out and people have lots of things right, like mine was drinking, some people’s is shopping, some people’s is smoking weed, some people, you know, whatever you used to call mine was drinking. And ironically, in that time frame, my husband and I, Dale, decided to open a wine bar. And I have always in my life been a worker. And so I really just turned every hobby into a job. And I really love to drink wine at the time. And so we just turned that into a job. But it got to a point where it was like affecting my life.

Katy Ripp (00:12:00) – When I started to dig deep, when I started to get into why am I doing the things that I’m doing, how am I coping? Why do I feel this way? Why do I have these behaviors? I started like getting down and dirty. It opened up the doors for me to do the things that I’ve always wanted to do. Yeah. Which one of those things is a podcast? And I’ve already had a podcast, right? Like I started boxing caps with a partner, life Gets Life and that kind of fell apart. But for me, I’ve always had this drive to share my story, to share other people’s stories, and to live really unapologetically. That didn’t come until I quit drinking, but now that I’m there, I just like. I cannot wait to watch other people take responsibility for their lives and do the shit that they really want to do.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:13:00) – Got it. Okay, so I think I’m tying this all together of this whole horrible loss. It causes you to get extremely introspective.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:13:09) – So you’re then in that space of introspection and you’re analyzing pieces and parts of your life. You then determine that you’re going to stop drinking. And as the grief is, you know, rolling through you and the clarity is coming with the fact that you’ve stopped drinking, you are now seeing all these opportunities to say yes to this inner voice that’s been suggesting, do this, do this, do this, yes. This is that, yeah.

Katy Ripp (00:13:39) – This is that, this is a culmination of all of that put together. You are good at this.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:13:45) – Well, I mean, I can just see it and I watched it unfold. Right. So and we had, you know, hundreds of conversations over time about the things that you were experiencing and knowing and internalizing and then putting out in the world. So this makes a lot of sense, because what this allows you to do is express what’s inside and then also bear witness to others. Right? What they’re they’re going to share and, and, and uncover with you in these moments of authenticity.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:14:13) – I mean, it’s it’s really cool. So there it is. And then now you think of it in, in the biggest, broadest, most bold terms that you can put it out there. I mean, if there was. One thing that this podcast could do or, you know, if it could change something in the world, what would you want that to be?

Katy Ripp (00:14:36) – Oh, that’s such a good, good one. Well, first of all, I think we all take ourselves a little bit too seriously.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:14:43) – Okay.

Katy Ripp (00:14:44) – So I hope that this will be enough of a light hearted.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:14:49) – Well, here, here’s where I’m going to go with that. For me, I got to change a little bit of what you said and what I think this is. So for me, you want this expression of yourself and others to not be so darn serious. Yeah, but this is not you said, you know, sometimes there’s. I’m gonna use the word honor. There’s a need to honor what’s inside people and give that the respect it deserves.

Katy Ripp (00:15:18) – Yeah.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:15:19) – Get it out to the world. Right. Yours and others.

Katy Ripp (00:15:23) – I hope that by me doing this, it will inspire other people to do stuff that feels really true to them. And for a really long time, I thought that that made me a narcissist, that I wanted to inspire other people. I thought that that made me somehow holier than thou. I see very recently I heard something about narcissism that mostly narcissism has everything to do with shame, not anything else. Right? Like narcissism and shame like that is a symptom of shame. And I don’t have shame over pretty much anything anymore. I’ve basically taken all my shameful things out from underneath the bed, laid them out, befriended them, and sent them on their way. And that allows me to live in a very authentic place right now, which the honest to God truth is that I want to inspire people. Yeah, for.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:16:25) – Me, I don’t know if this is your word, but for me, permission, right? If you can be real and presenting yourself publicly in your, you know, your most real iteration, it gives me permission to do it too.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:16:45) – Yes. And it’s so freeing. You know, I mean, I think one of my examples would be I’ve started to say to people, yes, I’ve been in marriage counseling twice a month for five years. Yes. I hired a coach. Somebody said to me, but you’re so in quotes successful. You’re, you know, you’re why would you need a coach? I just about fell out of my cherry thought. Do you think I got here without a coach? there’s no way. You know, I this me is is a combination of all the things that I’m, you know, that are that are in my world. And so I just found that by telling others this is who I am and what I’m doing to get through this world, it seems to allow other people to then tell me what they’re doing to get through this world.

Katy Ripp (00:17:33) – To your point, on so many levels, the permission thing is just like we just have to give ourselves permission to be ourselves. And that is one thing I’ve learned is the more I talk about the things that typically have shame around them, for instance, I mean, drinking, you know, like if you have a drinking problem, there’s so much shame around that in particular, that the minute I took it out from under the bed and I just told people that I wasn’t going to do it anymore and it was affecting my life, it’s like the shame just melted away.

Katy Ripp (00:18:10) – I have zero shame about it anymore, right? Like, well, also I’m not doing it right, like, but I would wake up with these horrible, guilt ridden hangovers because in my mind and in my heart, I just knew it wasn’t right for me. It wasn’t good for me. It was not serving me in any way. And I was misaligned. Yeah. And so what I have discovered in lots of work through my coaching certification, through lots of conversations with you, through a lot of ways I’ve gotten help over the years. I mean, even asking for help has shame around it, right? Like that’s the that’s hard enough. But what I discovered about myself and mostly other people is you will behave in a negative way if you are misaligned with your values. Yeah, people don’t know their values. And so like getting down and dirty with what you actually value and the things that we valued in our 20s, we don’t necessarily value it in your mid 40s anymore. Maybe you do.

Katy Ripp (00:19:18) – Yeah. There’s a different set of values and they change in the ebb and they flow and you know, whatever. And so if. I in any way, sharing other people’s stories, sharing my stories, having a platform to do that on in a light hearted, funny way where I can fuck whenever I want. Yeah. And I don’t really have to follow anybody’s rules. Yeah, that’s for me. And that’s what made you decide to do it, right? Like also, I mean, very honestly, this was my 2024 resolution, right. Like this was one of my goals. I was going to do a podcast this year. It was going to be just me. I didn’t know what to call it. I didn’t know anything. But I found a podcast producer that I really loved online. I put a deposit down. It was not a small deposit. I put a deposit down, sort of forgot about it. And then she reached out in April and was like, hey, we’re just about to get going out your stuff.

Katy Ripp (00:20:14) – Here’s your second bill. And I was like, oh shit, I guess I’m doing a podcast. Yeah. And now that I’m into it, now that I’ve interviewed a few people, it’s like it fills my cup to the brim already. I have nothing on this thing yet.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:20:32) – Yeah, no, I absolutely love it. Okay. So I mean, and I don’t want to spend much time here because to me, this isn’t where this is. This is not how I see you or how I think about this conversation or experience or or who you are in any way. But we all walk around with a little bit of fear, a little bit of doubt, a little bit of nine, like, oh, so did you have any fear or doubt about starting this? But again, I don’t want to spend much time here and give this much energy. But did you? Well for sure. Right.

Katy Ripp (00:21:03) – Like everybody’s got fear around putting themselves out there, right? Like you can’t put yourself out there anymore than this.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:21:10) – Really? Got it. Yeah.

Katy Ripp (00:21:12) – You know, unless you’re doing reels and shit on Instagram or you’re like, if you’re on OnlyFans, I suppose that’s putting yourself out there. But only yes, did I have doubts. My fear is, I think, very common. It’s also very popular, which like this imposter syndrome, you know, what business do I have doing this? What do I have to share? Why am I important? Why me basically. I can usually get over that pretty fast. I kind of have that muscle that has been definitely strengthened over time. And my answer to almost all of that is what’s the worst that can happen. Yeah.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:21:50) – Right. Exactly. Yeah.

Katy Ripp (00:21:51) – Somebody’s going to say they don’t like it okay. Yeah. There’s 8 billion people in the world. 4 billion of them are women. Women are likely going to be my listeners. I don’t need 4 billion listeners. I need like one. I, I need to listen, right. Like I need you to listen.

Katy Ripp (00:22:13) – I think we get very caught up right now in numbers. Again, I’m trying to do this in alignment with my values, and one of my values is to inspire. And so if I continue to try and do that and share other people’s stories around them, living in authenticity and them living honestly, and them living unapologetically and coming back from the brink of shit, this thing almost ruined my life. Yeah, I think I’ll be fine.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:22:47) – Yeah, I love that. And you think about oral tradition in other cultures. This is the New Age oral tradition, right? There’s certain you think. I mean, my mom always tells me a story about one of her friends that’s Irish. And they all grew up in Chicago, and they would get together and they would sit around on a Sunday afternoon, and some people would sing, and some people would tell stories, and some people would play an instrument. And, you know, it’s just this way of communicating what’s inside you. And I think a podcast is, is a modern day oral tradition.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:23:18) – I mean, it probably has more far reaching implications for historical purposes. There’s a lot of things in there. You know, I find it super fascinating. Okay. Now I’m going to go in there. What, like a taboo subject you’re nervous about covertly?

Katy Ripp (00:23:34) – I don’t know if I’m nervous about covering anything. I think I really want to be sensitive to some of this. You know, the big ones. Money.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:23:42) – Okay.

Katy Ripp (00:23:43) – Money. I want to talk about money. I want to talk about people’s stories around money. I want to talk about all the shameful shit we have around money, because I have my own stories around money. And as much as this is for other people, this is also. Very therapeutic for me. Like I’m a verbal processor. So when I get to talk to other people about things that could bring shame but don’t like money, I want to bring that stuff out from underneath the bed, strip the shame off of it and let it go. Yeah, death. I don’t think we talk about death enough, and I don’t think we’d talk about death in a respectful enough way.

Katy Ripp (00:24:29) – To honor the people that are still here. And also honor the people that have gone before us. Yeah. Yeah. In addition, everybody fucking dies. Yeah, everybody. There’s not. Yes. Do some people die out of order? Out of order of what society thinks? Absolutely. I’ve been through, you know, funerals and and saying goodbye to people, too. I think we just don’t talk about death enough. What are we going to do when people die? What’s the first thing we’re going to do when we get a call that our mom has died? Like, literally, what’s the first thing we’re going to do? Because the fear around that is not knowing what to do. Yeah.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:25:10) – Death and money.

Katy Ripp (00:25:12) – Just stuck to that. I mean.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:25:14) – Yeah, I mean those are two and I mean, you know, going back to the money, there’s so much pushback on that so much. And for females it’s outrageous. And then the next word is greed, right. It just goes there so fast.

Katy Ripp (00:25:30) – Oh it’s so.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:25:31) – And then so I mean that you’re you’re going to take your podcast in amazing directions with I mean that topic could change the world. And I think that, you know, back to the death thing. We’ve had so many conversations about that. I mean, I spoke to you in the car as you were leaving the hospital after all died. You were driving home in utter disbelief and horror and and then trying to process your point. You get the call. What’s next? What’s next, what’s next? And I mean, yeah, we have some real challenges as a society around those conversations. So I mean, I’m so intrigued. I’m so intrigued to see who’s going to talk to you about this, who you’ll be able to bring on that’s willing to discuss it, and what doors it opens for people’s understanding and their preparation.

Katy Ripp (00:26:18) – Like I said, I’ve got my own money stories, right? Like, well, everybody’s got money stories. And to your point, women especially most recently, the thing that really has just jabbed me in the ribs is almost every coaching client that I’ve had, business coaching client that I’ve had recently.

Katy Ripp (00:26:38) – One of the first things they say about money is, well, I don’t need to make $1 million.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:26:43) – Yeah, I saw it. He said.

Katy Ripp (00:26:45) – Oh no.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:26:47) – I’ve said, we’ve all said it.

Katy Ripp (00:26:49) – We’ve also I’ve said it. I’m honorable for just telling the universe, don’t give me $1 million. But we have this, like, icky feeling around $1 million. I mean, even in my post that said poor million like poor million dollars, right? Like they have done nothing wrong. So I just like that’s the kind of conversations I want to have that it’s not icky. It doesn’t have to be. It’s just numbers, right? Like, but there’s so much energy and so much power around it. Again, let’s just take it out from underneath the bed and talk about it. Totally don’t have to leave it under there. Yeah, sobriety is another one, right? Like that’s another conversation. I keep crossing paths and landing among the stars of all these really amazing, sober people that have made the decision to take it out of their lives and then gone on to do amazing things in the world.

Katy Ripp (00:27:49) – Weight loss. Weight has always been an issue for me. When I was younger, I was too thin. Now I feel like I’m too big, right? Like the body image this body dealt in between. So those are like the big taboo subjects. Yeah. Also the fear, right? Like the fear around all of it. The fear around, like we just don’t know what’s going to happen and the experiences that people have from that. Right. Like people that lose children, people that have their house burned down in a fire and then just like normal people. Here’s the other thing. I didn’t answer this before. I am the most normal person you’ve ever met. I’m normal. I live in Wisconsin. We are entrepreneurs of heart, but I don’t live in California on the beach with millions of dollars. And now do I want to? Someday? Maybe. But right now I’m just like living on my farm at sort of living my dream life. But it’s my dream life, and we all have different dream lives or things that really resonate with us.

Katy Ripp (00:29:01) – And they don’t have to be the Malibu mansion.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:29:05) – So maybe the words average.

Katy Ripp (00:29:10) – Maybe the word is average.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:29:12) – I mean just an average person. I mean he could pick you out of a crowd and you’re just because I’m not sure what normal is and I’m sorry California.

Katy Ripp (00:29:21) – Yeah. Right. I mean I shouldn’t be picking on those people right now.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:29:27) – Okay, sorry, I get so. Okay. You’re going to cover some really serious topics, obviously. How are you going to maintain this balance of deep and lighthearted? Any secret tricks or how does that kind of look?

Katy Ripp (00:29:41) – Yeah, I guess I’m going to say a lot right now.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:29:44) – Okay. Yeah, I also swear.

Katy Ripp (00:29:46) – Right. Like this is explicit. You can’t come on this show and you also shouldn’t listen if you get offended by bath bomb. Right? Like there’s just no way around that. Yeah I can’t I’m like, sorry, mom. Sorry, dad. Nobody likes it. I just, I like to swear. But also I have a pretty extensive, like, intake form.

Katy Ripp (00:30:08) – And this is one of the questions on the intake form is how do you use humor. And I’ve had that conversation. I had a recent podcast this was this week, and my guest lost a child young to cancer. And I asked her straight up, I need to know how inappropriate I can be. Like that was my statement to her. And she said, if you don’t laugh, you’d cry. We use humor for everything. Yeah. And then that sort of gave me a green light. Oh yes is one of my biggest fears that I will say something and it will get taken in the wrong context and like thrown out there to the world. Sure, I guess, but at the same time, like, I pretty much say whatever aligns with me so I don’t really have to apologize for anything anymore. Yeah, you’re.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:31:02) – Good at that. I think you you’ve always been really clear about that.

Katy Ripp (00:31:06) – Which part?

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:31:07) – Not worrying what other people think about, you know, a statement you make.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:31:12) – I think if you believe it to be true and it aligns with who you are, you’re going to say it. And if somebody doesn’t really love it. Okay. Yeah.

Katy Ripp (00:31:20) – One of the things I’ve really been lucky in learning over the last few years is I’m just not going to be for everybody.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:31:26) – That’s a relief, isn’t it?

Katy Ripp (00:31:28) – It’s so lovely. And do anyone that, like, continues to get older and has the privilege of getting older in your 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s I’m guessing it’s lovely to get older. It’s a privilege, first of all. But second of all, it just gets a whole lot easier to realize that you’re just not going to be for everybody. It’s also saved my businesses. My businesses aren’t going to be for everybody. Somebody is going to get a cold cappuccino and never visit us again.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:31:57) – Yeah.

Katy Ripp (00:31:58) – Somebody is going to give us a one star review. We have one star reviews. I am happy to not have you come back. Here’s your money back.

Katy Ripp (00:32:06) – Please never come here again. Did that make me like. I don’t know exactly what that makes me, except that I just. I know if I’m doing stuff in alignment, if my businesses and my staff are doing stuff in alignment, then everything will work out and my intentions are always good. Do I fuck that up? Sometimes, sure. But my intentions are good.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:32:29) – Yeah, and back to we don’t have to be for everybody. It would be ridiculous to think that anybody could be, or that any business could be or should be or, you know, just the whole thing. I mean, you know, well, okay, so are there topics or, you know, is there one story that you haven’t covered yet but you’re dying to explore?

Katy Ripp (00:32:48) – Oh, so many.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:32:50) – Tell me, tell me about that.

Katy Ripp (00:32:51) – I don’t know that I’m interested in having, like, big names on. Okay, here’s why. It’s not that I don’t care about big names and that there’s really amazing people with lots of followers and and big people out there.

Katy Ripp (00:33:05) – And by big, I mean, like really popular or, you know, gotcha has all the numbers behind them or whatever. I really love the relatable stuff. Right? Like the people that are teachers and realtors and like the everyday people. I know that sounds I mean, I’m not trying to say like, I only want the peasants out here, like, that’s that. I’m not trying to be that person either. I just I’m interested in the stories of people that have done it differently. Do they need to blow up their life differently? Know the people that have made a lot of money for this is just an example, made a lot of money, looks super successful and also admitted that they have stories around money. Yeah, right. Like the people that have done the work, the people that are interested in making a better life for themselves and for other people in that order. Right. Like I am a huge proponent of self-care. First, you know, put your oxygen mask on first before you put it on your kids, right? Yeah.

Katy Ripp (00:34:18) – And doing it outside of societal norms sounds very like it has to be this, like major event that happened. I don’t think it does. I just I want the people that have like uncovered it gradually and all of a sudden they look around and they’re like, fuck, I have this amazing life. I’m content every day as I did the work.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:34:41) – Mom.

Katy Ripp (00:34:43) – Does. Sometimes that mean that shit hits the fan and you lose a child, or your house burns down, or your father in law dies, or your husband or wife cheats on you. You know, whatever that is, does that mean that never happens to open up your eyes? Absolutely not. But there also is something to be said about very relatable people that go through normal things. Those are the people that I am hoping to talk to.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:35:13) – Yeah, absolutely.

Katy Ripp (00:35:15) – So the way the podcast is intended to work, right, like shit changes in my life all the time. That’s the other thing is like, I mean, some days I put out something and then I, you know, three months later I’m like, no, no, no, this is going to be different.

Katy Ripp (00:35:30) – My intention for the podcast is they’ll come out on Mondays.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:35:34) – Okay?

Katy Ripp (00:35:35) – Because I love Monday. One episode a week, one a month will be an interview.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:35:41) – Got it.

Katy Ripp (00:35:42) – One a month will be a dear Katy. So you’re listening to this and you want some advice, but you don’t want to come on the podcast and whatever. A dear Katy. Kind of like a Dear Abby, right?

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:35:52) – Right. Yeah.

Katy Ripp (00:35:52) – You know, wondering in Wichita kind of thing.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:35:56) – Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Katy Ripp (00:35:57) – The third one will be some sort of my story, right? Like some real honest to God truth about my money story, my death stories, my relationship stories, my things that I’ve done to sort of get me to this place. And then a live coaching call.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:36:17) – Oh, cool. Okay, I love that. Wait, how long is each podcast going to last?

Katy Ripp (00:36:23) – Again, the intention is 45 minutes to an hour. I really love the 45 minute mark because I listen to podcasts when I work out.

Katy Ripp (00:36:33) – Yeah, and 45 minutes is about all I got me. So I love 45 minute podcasts. Okay, I got a.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:36:39) – Question about that. What about for the people that are like that, don’t listen to listen to them in long format. And your burst people. Your people that I’ve got 15 minutes.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:36:49) – Yeah.

Katy Ripp (00:36:50) – I don’t know why I’m okay.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:36:52) – Just curious.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:36:52) – Yeah.

Katy Ripp (00:36:53) – I kind of love that idea too. And that has crossed my mind about doing like a snippet on Friday. Like maybe a 15 minute jam on Friday.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:37:02) – Well, maybe one a month. Could be 15 minutes.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:37:05) – Yes, yes.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:37:06) – Give yourself a little space. As you’re talking about 52 podcasts, this is what true.

Katy Ripp (00:37:14) – This is why I have to have a producer.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:37:16) – Yeah, well, I’m glad there’s a pro here guiding you. Yeah. Okay. Wait, wait. Thank you. Okay, so here’s my question. How do you hope your listeners feel after finishing an episode of your podcast inspired? Is that the filter through which you’re running, your decision making through? Is this going to inspire somebody? And then boom, you select what you’re going to talk about or cover?

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:37:44) – Yeah, I think so.

Katy Ripp (00:37:46) – I think that is the ultimate goal. And if these things align. If it’s aligned with inspiration, it will get posted.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:37:58) – Got it. Is there any other pillars or foundational pieces that you’re running your decision making through to decide who you’re going to talk to or what you’re going to post?

Katy Ripp (00:38:09) – I think the coaching calls are really important to me, and here’s why. I think life coaching, which is basically what I am now a life coach and a business mentor, people paying for this service. I think the poor industry got a bad reputation like the pit bulls of the 90s, right? Yeah, like a bunch of people did it poorly and nobody really knows what it is. And it seems like an elective and a and a luxury. And I want to do it differently. I want people to hear what a real coaching call sounds like. Yeah, because. In my coaching certification experience, I have never felt more seen and heard than when somebody held space for me to verbalize, but not let me get in the weeds of it.

Katy Ripp (00:39:08) – The whole premise behind coaching is that Patty, you have all the answers in you. And it’s my job to get them out and that we as human beings, as women, because women are mostly who I’m going to coach. We are capable and whole and resourceful and creative beings. We know all the answers. It’s just we need some help getting them out and that’s my intention. So the coaching calls are important to me because I think that there’s a lot of misconceptions about it, even to your point. People need coaches like, we’re doing this fucking life by ourselves. Like what? There’s no playbook. There’s no rules, there’s no guidelines. And the rules of the game keep changing. So unless you live by your own set of guidelines and values, it’s really hard to win at life.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:40:08) – Yeah.

Katy Ripp (00:40:08) – And that’s also like one of the things that I’m really passionate about is helping people find their own values. Like, when’s the last time you did a values assessment? I hadn’t done one ever, except for like a personality test.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:40:23) – Yeah.

Katy Ripp (00:40:23) – You know, not in my like, later adult life. I did it for the first time in my certification, and now it’s like the first thing I give people.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:40:31) – And then you can run every decision through it. I mean, it just makes it so clear. It makes it so clear. Yeah. What I kept hearing is you were talking about these coaching experiences. You know, it’s already in there and you’re pulling it out. You’re drawing it out. And the one sentence that sticks with me is, you know, tell me more about that. Tell me more about that. Right. When you hold space and say to somebody, tell me more about that. There is so much relief and goodness that starts to flow. I know, I love it well, I am super stoked to see where this goes. Yeah.

Katy Ripp (00:41:11) – Me too.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:41:11) – Super super super stoked and unbelievably touched and honored and connected to you in a way that is wow. I mean, I can’t put the right words on it.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:41:23) – I just am absolutely thrilled to be in your world.

Katy Ripp (00:41:26) – So the feeling is beyond mutual.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:41:30) – So,

Katy Ripp (00:41:31) – Some logistics.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:41:33) – Yes.

Katy Ripp (00:41:34) – Podcast is called #ActuallyICan, okay. That came from a bunch of people telling me I couldn’t do shit. And then I’m like,

Katy Ripp (00:41:46) – Actually, I can. And that came from like a really unhealthy place for a really long time. Right? Like it was always a challenge for somebody to say, no, you can’t do that. And I was like, fuck you. Actually, I can.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:42:00) – Yeah.

Katy Ripp (00:42:00) – These days, actually, I can to me means, actually I can do it my way. And not with disdain, not with venom, not with aggression, with actually, I can do it differently. We can all do it differently. We get the choice. We get to do it. Actually, we can do it differently. Actually, we can do it differently. It was too long.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:42:26) – Well, actually, I did.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:42:30) – You know, I did.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:42:33) – Yeah.

Katy Ripp (00:42:34) – And I want to empower people to be able to go out and say, actually, I can do it that way. And I did do it that way.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:42:44) – Yeah, I love it.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:42:45) – I mean, that’s everything.

Katy Ripp (00:42:46) – And as long as I’m aligned, I think this is going to be fine. And I know you’re going to listen.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:42:51) – So yeah.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:42:52) – Absolutely. You’re aligned. You’re aligned.

Katy Ripp (00:42:56) – Thank you I see you.

Patty Schmitz-Thursam (00:42:58) – Love you.

Katy Ripp (00:43:00) – And that’s a wrap on today’s episode. I hope you enjoyed diving deep into the world of living authentically with me. Before you go, don’t forget to connect with me on Instagram. Shoot me a message at Katy Ripp. I’d love to hear your thoughts on today’s episode and connect with you further. And remember, if you want more details on today’s episode or just want to explore more about designing your life unapologetically, head on over to my website at katyripp.com. There you’ll find all the juicy details and resources you need to keep the inspiration flowing.

Katy Ripp (00:43:30) – Lastly, if you’d like to join me on the show, whether it’s to tell about your experience of designing your own life, to share your expertise, or if you’d like to participate in lifestyle coaching live on air, don’t hesitate to reach out. Your story could inspire countless others on their own path to living authentically. Thanks for tuning in. Until next time, keep living boldly designing your life. And remember, #ActuallyICan.